LoveLace Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 You should go on as though it's over already. Put it in your mind that he is not good enough for you. Fill your life with other things like social activities or hobbies. Don't call him or even talk about him. If he calls don't even answer the 1st couple times, at least. And the next time you speak to him, don't act upset in the slightest, act as though you've just been busy, etc. Do not apologize for anything anymore. Don't even say "I didn't mean to....." that's what he meant by you trying to please all the time. Believe me I just went through a similar situation with a guy, but now that I've done all of the above, he's the one who keeps apologizing to ME, cuz I finally told him he's a d*ck and I've made him feel as though he deserves that, I have not apologized for it. I also backed way off on affection and calling, etc. But now I've already found a much better guy in the mean time anyway, so his new love for me or whatever doesn't even make a difference. The point is, he didn't respect me for real until I finally put my foot down for real. Put it in your mind that this guy does not even deserve my apologies or my lovable attention - you'd be amazed at the result. But also keep in mind the idea is not to get him to come back to you in full force. The idea is to deal with it as though it's totally over but you don't care cuz he isn't good enough for you anyway. Maybe that's not entirely true, but this is the best frame of mind for you to have right now. I heard a song the other day that said It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry.
uniqueone Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 But now I've already found a much better guy in the mean time anyway, so his new love for me or whatever doesn't even make a difference. The point is, he didn't respect me for real until I finally put my foot down for real. Put it in your mind that this guy does not even deserve my apologies or my lovable attention - you'd be amazed at the result. That's exactly the point I was making in my post. This is why I say that it's over (sorry if that's too harsh OP) Because she can play the game of aloofness but it'll still be over even though she'll have gotten his attention....because at that point, she'll realize that she doesn't really want him.
LoveLace Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 That's exactly the point I was making in my post. This is why I say that it's over (sorry if that's too harsh OP) Because she can play the game of aloofness but it'll still be over even though she'll have gotten his attention....because at that point, she'll realize that she doesn't really want him. Exactly...of course I've been lucky to have a new wonderful guy suddenly pop into my life but I realized I didn't want him even before that...
JCD Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 Be who you are and don't change and don't play games. To me he doesn't seem like the type of guy that is compatible with you. When you're in love your emotions are like you described they are and his aren't. Dump him and find yourself a guy who loves to be with you and isn't afraid to hear you express your love for him. You're not clingy, it's just the way you are when you're in love. Take that away and it won't be you and you'll be miserable.
Lyssa Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Sarak - Listen to all these people esp LoveLace and UniqueOne... they've got a point!!
uniqueone Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Be who you are and don't change and don't play games. To me he doesn't seem like the type of guy that is compatible with you. When you're in love your emotions are like you described they are and his aren't. Dump him and find yourself a guy who loves to be with you and isn't afraid to hear you express your love for him. You're not clingy, it's just the way you are when you're in love. Take that away and it won't be you and you'll be miserable. I don't think his behavior has to do with whether he is--or isn't--in love with her. I think his behavior is who he is as a person.
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