Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Hi, I would like to hear somebody else opinion about the following (both from women and from men) because I truly don't understand what I did wrong. My wife doesn't get along with our landlord (I admit........he is quite an ass) because several time he has been rather rude to her (nothing like verbal abuse, though........just he has not been as professional as he should have been). For this reason she is not talking to him anymore and when they meet in the parking lot they don't even look at each other. I never had any discussion with that man and, as far as I am concerned he has always treated me nicely (maybe because unlike my wife I am 6'3'' and 220lb). About a week ago we (my wife and I) met the guy in the parking lot and I said "hi" to him (just "hi".......not "how are you?", or "how is your family?", etc.). Since then my wife is not talking to me anymore because she thinks I shouldn't talk to him at all!!! She believes that by talking to him I am "disrespecting her" (her words). I don't believe that I am writing about this because this is such a trivial matter, and I truly feel like an high-school kid again. But the fact is that she is REALLY mad at me for what I have done. I mean.......am I the only one to believe she is behaving like a little baby? Thanks in advance for your suggestions and comments. Mr M.
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 There are 2 episodes that I know of. 1st: when we first moved in she called him to ask for some information (I believe it was related to our electrical bill) and he complained saying that we shouldn't ask him for this sort of things because they are not his responsibility........don't ask me for more details, this episode occurred a long time ago. 2nd: according to my wife she met the guy in the parking lot while she was approaching the main entrance and he not only ignored her completely, but slammed the door right in front of her. As I said, I was never present when these 2 facts happened otherwise I would have said something. Also, I don't want to be a friend with this guy but at the same time I feel I need to be in a decent relationship with him........you never know, we might need his help in the future.
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I agree that your wife is acting like a baby. That's my opinion. There's a professional relationship to uphold so if she's unhappy with the landlord, she needs to correct the situation by putting him in his place. If she's unable to facilitate this on her own, it wouldn't hurt for you to mediate.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 So let me get this straight... your landlord is a wanker... and he treats your wife poorly? Ok, now why dont you stand up for her? Isnt that what a husband is supposed to do?? IMHO... you should have your wifes back first!!! Then you can worry about her reaction bieng overboard.
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 I can already see how men and women have 2 totally different opinions about this. My wife and the landlord just don't get along, and yes, he is not the nicest guy on heart. However, he has never insulted her or "crossed the line", otherwise, believe me, I would have stand up for her. I don't see why I should create an even bigger problem than we already have (and, after all, is this a real problem?). My wife and I are both in our 30s and should be able to handle these situations (both bw her and the landlord, and bw her and I) in a more mature way. Have you ever worked with somebody you don't really like? Does that mean that you, and everybody you know shouldn't talk to him/her. Come on!!!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Im not telling you to go kick his butt. I'm telling you to support your wife! Be a man! Then you can talk to her about overreacting. Wait did you just assume Im a girl?
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Wait did you just assume Im a girl?Which would make me the man.
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 What do you suggest I should do? What should I tell the landlord? "Hey, say hi to my wife and hold the door for her......you rude, unprofessional landlord!!!" I have never been present during any of these 2 (I repeat........they were only 2) confrontations (if confrontations can be called). Why creating a problem where there is none? In my opinion she could have been a little more forgetful and less stubborn and this problem would have never existed in first place. I apologize for assuming you were a girl dude......I was wrong evidently.
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Sorry.......my assumptions about your genders are not very accurate.......LOL!
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Sorry.......my assumptions about your genders are not very accurate.......LOL! I'm killing myself laughing over this but I'm laughing with you, not at you...
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Laugh Out Loud my friend.............it's all good : ) BTW, my wifey just went to bed, ignoring me....once again. What the hell!?!? I haven't mentioned 2 important details: 1: she is PMSING..........is it a coincidence that she got so upset with me during this time of the month? You be the judge! 2: 50% of her DNA is Irish.........yes, she is a redhead. Don't get me wrong, she is a beautiful person, but when she gets upset, SHE GETS UPSET!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Well, your wife is over-reacting... but when you seem to side with the landlord this puts you in the crosshairs also! So what you need to do is make your wife feel like you support her. You can do this by telling her that you are not going to let the landlord treat her like this and that you are going to have a man to man with him later. PMS is easy to diffuse if you try to fill her needs first! Maybe I think like a girl? LOL... while I may look good in a skirt, TBF makes the skirt look good!
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 I am not siding with anyone, and I hate when I feel that the easiest way to make my wife happy is to pretend that I think like she does............in this case I don't. Notice that she wants me to stop talking to the landlord (in her presence, at least.............I don't talk to the guy anyway, I don't like him either. However, I believe in being polite to anyone, at anytime, any saying "hi" to him is part of being polite), and to call him soon so that he can fix our washer !!!!!!!!!!!FTG$%GTFQCRTV#%B!@#$CFWE!!!!!!!
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Hold on. So she wants you to stop talking to the landlord but wants you to call him to fix the washer? That's not very rational. Give her a choice. If she wants you to ignore and not be friendly with the landlord, you will do so but this means that she will be responsible for contacting him if something needs to be fixed, like the washer. If she doesn't like this idea, tell her you'll do it your way by keeping the landlord friendly so you can get things fixed by someone who isn't hostile.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 See your not changing your opinion or beliefs... your validating her feelings! I'm pretty sure that's really what she is looking for. You can fight that all you want, but in the end your just going to build resentment in her! Besides if someone slammed a door in my wife's face (not that I have one)... he better be one tough dude!
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Well, she hasn't mention the 2 things (not speaking to the landlord and calling him to have the washer fixed) at the same time. But yes, that's what she would like me to do. You know, we can have different ideas about things, it's normal.........but in about 50min it will be 4 1/2 days that she hasn't spoken to me..........and that's ridiculous!
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 the word slammed was exaggerated. From my understanding he didn't wait for her and released the door right before she could grab the handle.........he clearly did it on purpose.
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Lord, she's being a baby. 4.5 days over something like this? Just hand her the telephone and tell her the washer is broken so she'll have to call the landlord, because you're not allowed to speak to him....
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Something did occur to me though. Do you ever defend her with anyone, in her presence?
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Something did occur to me though. Do you ever defend her with anyone, in her presence? LOL... thats what I've been trying to tell you! 1. Diffuse the wifes emotional state! 2. Then deal with her issue on a logical level As a woman this should be like second nature to you! Ha! It just occurs to me you kind of think like a guy!
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 LOL... thats what I've been trying to tell you! 1. Diffuse the wifes emotional state! 2. Then deal with her issue on a logical level As a woman this should be like second nature to you! Ha! It just occurs to me you kind of think like a guy! This thread is hilarious if not for the OPs frustration. So what does that say about you?
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 This thread is hilarious if not for the OPs frustration. So what does that say about you? It says Ive had so many crazy freakin girlfriends that I've gotten to a point where I can almost read thier minds! I'm like some kind of swami for women who are nutters! If he listens to me, his frustration may well dissapear! Your realize its not the thread thats funny... Its me!
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I am posting mainly because I got a good laugh before turning in. Thanks. Mr. M (you seem as confused as your avie). I don't understand getting so upset over little crap like this. It is so unproductive. However, that temper is an unpleasant thing to deal with. What would she do if you teased her a bit? Held open every door you could find for her. Bathroom door, front door, cabinet doors. All the while telling her how lucky she is to have such a considerate husband that holds the doors open for her. Or would this throw her into a fit of Irish pms rage? Also, just some Southern wisdom here. You catch more flies with honey. What good does it do to have a grumpy landlord on your enemy list? Maybe by taking a higher road and being a little courteous even in the face of somewhat rude behavior. In the long run, he might not intentionally put you at the bottom of his repair list. See what I mean?
Author Mr M. Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Something did occur to me though. Do you ever defend her with anyone, in her presence? I would die for her!!!
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