InLimbo2 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Well, traditionally men made the first move - but times have changed a lot - lots of women make a first move - maybe he's checking to see if you will. Most guys hate rejection as much as we do - they've just had more experience with it (cuz they are usually doing the asking). You said you *think* you smile - or gave forced half-smiles. Perhaps he's just not done gaging your interest yet. How bout a big sincere smile and see what happens. You mentioned early on about possibly he's married - do you always filter through that? Course you have to know - but this guy is a total stranger - don't start out thinking the worst of him already! And how am I supposed to show interest back??? I said "hi". Shouldn't he do something next? And sometimes guys who are attached/married gage interest too. Oh God, I hate that. I so hate how married guys need their ego boosted.
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Well, traditionally men made the first move - but times have changed a lot - lots of women make a first move - maybe he's checking to see if you will. Most guys hate rejection as much as we do - they've just had more experience with it (cuz they are usually doing the asking). You said you *think* you smile - or gave forced half-smiles. Perhaps he's just not done gaging your interest yet. How bout a big sincere smile and see what happens. You mentioned early on about possibly he's married - do you always filter through that? Course you have to know - but this guy is a total stranger - don't start out thinking the worst of him already! Hey, my experience has been that the guys who do the looking and the flirty eyes are usually the married ones. They want to see if they've still got it or not. Women making the first move......not me. It may be happening today but I sincerely believe that it doesn't work. I've discussed this with a male friend of mine who does the personals. At first he said how he liked women initiating. Then, after we'd discussed it further, he agreed with me....that it didn't work. Name successful relationships that work with women initiating. I simply won't do it anymore. Besides, it doesn't give me the same feeling.
InLimbo2 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I had a guy I was dating once tell me he couldn't date me anymore because I was too independent lol. When I was married, I was very dependent - as my independence grew - hubby didn't like that - we divorced. I swung to opposite extreme - very independent. Couple of years later I put a fence up in my yard - 30 8ft long sections and 3 gates - my daughter who was 12 at the time still refers to it as "my mom's 'I don't need no man' period" lololol Guys as a general rule like to help/fix things - be our hero - like Cobra. You can not need any help, but accept some anyway because your man (potential man) feels good when he gives it. For some reason I don't find your type very often. I've thought about this before because I knew a woman who attacted this type. I think I've figured out the reason why and I think it's because I don't act helpless. I act pretty independent and like I don't need any help.
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Never say never! He may already have plans otherwise... just make sure your are regular... regular like an old dude on metamucil! Thanks for the visual........ I'm a regular there.....have been for years actually.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Oh.....that's different. I didn't know your ex's were like THAT. Yeah...that's not me at all. I'm no flirt and no party-er (boy, I sound boring, don't I? LOL!) The thing is, I don't get insecure just automatically. The guys that I'm with usually make me think I'm getting insecure over nothing though. It's taken me a long time to realize that I've had good reason to be that way in the instances that it's happened. Well, I am fast approaching 30, so Ive got a new game plan! If a girl says she is trying to do a modeling career, or is currently involved in one. I'm going to just walk the other way... very quickly. That will remove my top 3 crazy ex's. I really work hard to remove insecurity from my relationships. See, I want my girl to feel like the only girl in the room... or failing that, the most attractive. No checking out other girls... no flirting with other girls... bieng very careful when talking about other girls (without lieing)... ect. I know its a good formulea... I just seem to pick-up the girls with multiple personality disorders or something. Had a girlfriend that screamed at herself in the closet... like full on arguments. Her roommates also told me later that she was a clepto... Ugghhh... But she needed me, and I responded.
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 I had a guy I was dating once tell me he couldn't date me anymore because I was too independent lol. When I was married, I was very dependent - as my independence grew - hubby didn't like that - we divorced. I swung to opposite extreme - very independent. Couple of years later I put a fence up in my yard - 30 8ft long sections and 3 gates - my daughter who was 12 at the time still refers to it as "my mom's 'I don't need no man' period" lololol Guys as a general rule like to help/fix things - be our hero - like Cobra. You can not need any help, but accept some anyway because your man (potential man) feels good when he gives it. I'm just curious here.....what about what makes us (women) feel good? Is there a reason we're always doing what makes a man feel good? Isn't that an unenlightened way of thinking? Btw, I DO let men help me. But I just don't like that way of thinking that too many women seem to do.
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Well, I am fast approaching 30, so Ive got a new game plan! If a girl says she is trying to do a modeling career, or is currently involved in one. I'm going to just walk the other way... very quickly. That will remove my top 3 crazy ex's. I really work hard to remove insecurity from my relationships. See, I want my girl to feel like the only girl in the room... or failing that, the most attractive. No checking out other girls... no flirting with other girls... bieng very careful when talking about other girls (without lieing)... ect. I know its a good formulea... I just seem to pick-up the girls with multiple personality disorders or something. Had a girlfriend that screamed at herself in the closet... like full on arguments. Her roommates also told me later that she was a clepto... Ugghhh... But she needed me, and I responded. So you're saying you choose the really hot girls then? Is that what you're saying you're going to avoid? Or are you avoiding models for some other reason? Fast approaching 30, huh? My goodness, you're almost an old man!
InLimbo2 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 careful with that 'she needed me, so I responded" I have a friend just like that - he keeps getting the same chick - just different skin. It's always the 'bunny boiling on the stove" crazy type. He's even got a major chainsaw scar on one arm from one of them. Get out of that rut before you are old - or dead Well, I am fast approaching 30, so Ive got a new game plan! If a girl says she is trying to do a modeling career, or is currently involved in one. I'm going to just walk the other way... very quickly. That will remove my top 3 crazy ex's. I really work hard to remove insecurity from my relationships. See, I want my girl to feel like the only girl in the room... or failing that, the most attractive. No checking out other girls... no flirting with other girls... bieng very careful when talking about other girls (without lieing)... ect. I know its a good formulea... I just seem to pick-up the girls with multiple personality disorders or something. Had a girlfriend that screamed at herself in the closet... like full on arguments. Her roommates also told me later that she was a clepto... Ugghhh... But she needed me, and I responded.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Thanks for the visual........ I'm a regular there.....have been for years actually. It's the timing that is most important. Trust me! If he is even slightly interested, he will rush to get there at the time you always show up!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 So you're saying you choose the really hot girls then? Is that what you're saying you're going to avoid? Or are you avoiding models for some other reason? Fast approaching 30, huh? My goodness, you're almost an old man! Some of my friends are what you would call "trust fund kids", and for like 2 years I dated within thier social circle... but to answer your question... NO. Some girls that want to be models are'nt even close to hot! And yeah I'm avioding them because in my experience, they are superficial, always get hit on, and typically, they are all some kind of insane! Yes! I just went through a quarter life crisis a few years back... I would like to have something solid by the time I turn 30! And I'm already an old man! I've been toying around with the idea of signing up for life alert!
InLimbo2 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Oh, a good man makes every effort to do what makes us feel good too. You are seeing things as black and white - always has to be about what she wants and makes her feel good OR always about what he wants and makes him feel good. Any relationship is a give and take. I don't think it's necessarily unenlightened. I think we as people can take it to extremes - when it's not necessary. I can't stand when I see women who are totally dependent, submissive, or take advantage of a guy. But I don't need to swing the pendulum to the polar opposite either. I'm just curious here.....what about what makes us (women) feel good? Is there a reason we're always doing what makes a man feel good? Isn't that an unenlightened way of thinking? Btw, I DO let men help me. But I just don't like that way of thinking that too many women seem to do.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 careful with that 'she needed me, so I responded" I have a friend just like that - he keeps getting the same chick - just different skin. It's always the 'bunny boiling on the stove" crazy type. He's even got a major chainsaw scar on one arm from one of them. Get out of that rut before you are old - or dead Then it probably wont suprise you to know that I had a GF try to stab me with a steak knife once! Oh... lets stop talking about me. I think Unique is much more interesting! Next time you see that guy... have a banana ready to eat!!!
jcster Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I just went through a quarter life crisis a few years back... I would like to have something solid by the time I turn 30! And I'm already an old man! I've been toying around with the idea of signing up for life alert! You're too young to be this jaded! I thought you were my age! [41] I'm not even as bitter as you are, and I'm divorced! The life alert idea is good, though. I use mine every week or so - the paramedics are cute!
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Some of my friends are what you would call "trust fund kids", and for like 2 years I dated within thier social circle... but to answer your question... NO. Some girls that want to be models are'nt even close to hot! And yeah I'm avioding them because in my experience, they are superficial, always get hit on, and typically, they are all some kind of insane! Yes! I just went through a quarter life crisis a few years back... I would like to have something solid by the time I turn 30! And I'm already an old man! I've been toying around with the idea of signing up for life alert! If you're an old man, then I must be dead already.......
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Oh, a good man makes every effort to do what makes us feel good too. You are seeing things as black and white - always has to be about what she wants and makes her feel good OR always about what he wants and makes him feel good. Any relationship is a give and take. I don't think it's necessarily unenlightened. I think we as people can take it to extremes - when it's not necessary. I can't stand when I see women who are totally dependent, submissive, or take advantage of a guy. But I don't need to swing the pendulum to the polar opposite either. I don't take charge and come on strong. I don't play dominant. On the other hand, I don't play helpless either. I sort of play the loner I guess. I think I've learned to because that's what I had to do for years. I wasn't used to people being there for me, even though it would have been nice if they had been.
Author uniqueone Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 Then it probably wont suprise you to know that I had a GF try to stab me with a steak knife once! Oh... lets stop talking about me. I think Unique is much more interesting! Next time you see that guy... have a banana ready to eat!!! Ok, people now wonder why I'm laughing loudly in my office......
InLimbo2 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Been there too - and for same reasons. I've been single since 96 until the last 16 months or so - and I HAD to be strong and independent - I have two kids to raise on my own (one is raised and gone). So many men disappointed me over the years, weren't there when I needed them. I stopped needing any help and stopped any expectation of getting any. Then, I met my guy - and he's solid as a rock and dependable -and I let some of that guard down. He was a lil confused at first - as it was so unlike me - til I talked to him and explained what I have in this thread. I don't take charge and come on strong. I don't play dominant. On the other hand, I don't play helpless either. I sort of play the loner I guess. I think I've learned to because that's what I had to do for years. I wasn't used to people being there for me, even though it would have been nice if they had been.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 You're too young to be this jaded! I thought you were my age! [41] I'm not even as bitter as you are, and I'm divorced! The life alert idea is good, though. I use mine every week or so - the paramedics are cute! LOL... I was an ambulence driver in College... and you would be suprised how many ladies may actually do this! How jaded do I sound? I hope it isnt too bad? I've got lots of hope for my future!!!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Ok, people now wonder why I'm laughing loudly in my office...... Well I'm glad I didnt suggest a hot dog then! It would be funnier... however, I know the ones you guys eat over on the east coast are enormous. That would be messy... and it would probably intimidate him!. So I couldnt take the chance in case you took me seriously!
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Unique, I had a thought about what I think is your original question. Next time you are one the trail, any you see the stud. Fall down. Let him come to your rescue. Let him check out your ankle, maybe your knee and hold you while you walk it out. Good one right....
jcster Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Next time you are one the trail, any you see the stud. Fall down. Let him come to your rescue. Let him check out your ankle, maybe your knee and hold you while you walk it out. Or, you could jump out of the trees and knock him off his bike and give HIM first aid!
jcster Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 How jaded do I sound? I hope it isnt too bad? I've got lots of hope for my future!!! It's not too bad. You're just a little too worried about looking foolish is all.
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Well you could wave you arms about and in a panic driven voice scream. 'A dingo ate my baby' 'A dingo ate my baby'. That would get his attention, however, that might seem a little daffy. You could purchase some mountain lion cubs on the black market and train them to your command and then introduce them on the trail and rescue him. This could take a very long time and is not full proof. Also it is a little obsessive, plus the mess...nah. Maybe you can rent a trained one. How about a trained bear? No, so far I like the falling down idea.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 No, so far I like the falling down idea. Hmmm... I think she said he rides a bike? That kind of just reduces her to a speed bump...
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Hmmm... I think she said he rides a bike? That kind of just reduces her to a speed bump... Oh, this is even better. That way you don't even have to fake fall. You can just sit or ly there and wait for him to rescue you. If he just rides on by well, he is not considerate. I would stay just to the side of the trail though, in case he is oblivious.
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