myluck35 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We've had many stressful times with our children and its taken a toll on our marriage. We've discussed divorce many times but chose to work it out for our children because they are so difficult. Over the years, I've involved myself in 3 affairs. Nothing major, just someone to pay attention to me because my husband didn't. I always ended them when they became serious. I call them distractions because I always told myself that I needed some attention. My family came first, my distractions never interfered with that. A couple of days ago I found out my husband was also having an affair. But this was no distraction. He said he was very attached to this person and they had chemistry. They spend a lot of years together and she gave birth to his child. Although he did not want the child, she refused to abort and now they are a family. I know I what I did was not right, but I could leave my distraction in a blink. He can't leave her. I'm feeling hurt and jelous of this woman who could give my husband what I never could. I can't stop crying. I'm scared to raise my kids by myself. I've never felt pain like this. '
cj1988 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 You both had affairs, which is not good. But, now he has found someone he cares for and wants out. I am sorry you are so hurt and surprised, but why honey? Like my marriage there were signs everywhere this would eventually happen to one of you. Has he made up his mind or do you srill think that you can both get together and make it work? Do you love him and does he love you? Trust me the crying will stop eventually and you willl be able to get back to your life in a different way. It will consume for a long time until you stop it. I have been going through terrible times for months now (8) and it is not getting a little better because I am getting help for me and talking to people. Stay tough, I have raised 2 now and believe me I did it alone even if I was not alone.
Diplok Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 You both had affairs, which is not good. But, now he has found someone he cares for and wants out. I am sorry you are so hurt and surprised, but why honey? Like my marriage there were signs everywhere this would eventually happen to one of you. Has he made up his mind or do you srill think that you can both get together and make it work? Do you love him and does he love you? When you love someone you don't disrespect them by cheating on them. When you cheat on your partner, it means you have absolutely no respect for your marriage, yourself and above all, your partner. Your ego is hurt because now he has someone else. I am sorry my words are harsh but I am just being honest. Move on!!!
Author myluck35 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Posted August 29, 2007 Thank you for the replies. All opinions accepted, I just need to vent. I know what I did was wrong and it does not matter who got involved more, but this made me realize I did not want to lose him. I hated him not paying attention to me and it hurts that he wanted to pay attention to someone else. I'm sore and miserable. He wants to wait and not tell our kids because we're afraid of the reaction but I can't live like this.
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