RoseRen Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 When my friend or lover or boss (or whoever for that matter) makes a good comment about my rival or competitor... and if I feel jealous... what is the best way to handle the situation?
loveinlife Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I guess the best way to be is not to be jealous. =) We can't always win and if they deserved it more than us then they should. hope you find my message meaningful. Just like a tough guy tries to be a bad ass to another guy, but it only takes a bullet to kill him, i mean, how tough is that? I guess my opinion is to be reasoneable, can't have everything we want. The world doesn't revolve around us but with everyone else... hope im not sounding harsh. This is just my opinion. Hope you find a good answer. =) take care
myluck35 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 I just experience some serious jelousy and let me tell you, its draining. Useless emotion. But I couldnt help it. I felt like I was attaked emotionally. Well it goes away eventually and yes you have to tell yourself sometimes someone else comes out on top.
norajane Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 You handle it by biting your tongue and saying nothing unless it's positive about the other person's work. Anything else will sound like sour grapes and will make others see you as jealous and petty, or even vindictive. Just because someone else is praised does not mean your work isn't recognized as being good, too. You don't have to take it personally. But if you do take it personally, then make it your priority to work harder next time, and to find out what about the other person's work earned such high praise so you can make sure to incorporate those elements into your performance.
Author RoseRen Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 You handle it by biting your tongue and saying nothing unless it's positive about the other person's work. Anything else will sound like sour grapes and will make others see you as jealous and petty, or even vindictive. Just because someone else is praised does not mean your work isn't recognized as being good, too. You don't have to take it personally. But if you do take it personally, then make it your priority to work harder next time, and to find out what about the other person's work earned such high praise so you can make sure to incorporate those elements into your performance. That was a good bit of advice!
vaguelette Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 First examine what the thoughts are that drive the feeling of jealousy. For example: "Oh no! My boyfriend must find her/him/it/them more attractive than me if he compliments the way they look/act/feel/smell and therefore he's going to leave me and I'll never have another boyfriend and I'll die a lonely old woman with nobody to go to my funeral or pay for a headstone!" Then examine the truth of those thoughts. Do you know for real that he finds them more attractive than you? Remember the compliments you've received from him and all the other positive times you've shared. Is he actively pursuing the other person/people/things or does he spend time with you, instead? Are his compliments of you, or other people, the only thing that validates you? Are you worth more than just being a girlfriend? Etc. etc. etc. I would guess that once you spend some time examining the truth of your thoughts that lie behind your emotions, you'll soon discover the lie within them and jealousy will cease being a problem.
Author RoseRen Posted October 29, 2007 Author Posted October 29, 2007 First examine what the thoughts are that drive the feeling of jealousy. For example: "Oh no! My boyfriend must find her/him/it/them more attractive than me if he compliments the way they look/act/feel/smell and therefore he's going to leave me and I'll never have another boyfriend and I'll die a lonely old woman with nobody to go to my funeral or pay for a headstone!" Then examine the truth of those thoughts. Do you know for real that he finds them more attractive than you? Remember the compliments you've received from him and all the other positive times you've shared. Is he actively pursuing the other person/people/things or does he spend time with you, instead? Are his compliments of you, or other people, the only thing that validates you? Are you worth more than just being a girlfriend? Etc. etc. etc. I would guess that once you spend some time examining the truth of your thoughts that lie behind your emotions, you'll soon discover the lie within them and jealousy will cease being a problem. First time I read your advice, I thought I couldn't do it. But it did really do the trick. I am now journalling such thoughts and I think that has changed me so much in a couple of weeks. Thanks a lot!
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