sunnysideup1 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 WHY CAN'T I DO NC? EVERYTIME I AM CONTACTED, I GET SUCKED BACK IN. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? I told myself I would cut all contact starting tomorrow and then I got contacted again. And of course I answered. How foolish am I? And I think I made a fool of myself, too. I just want to curl up in a ball and die.
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I wouldn't worry about it. You might be a person who needs the low contact method, where you wean yourself off a little at a time. Just start again. It's no big deal. I've broken NC before from being contacted. I guess I felt like venting so who better to take it, than the perp.
Author sunnysideup1 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Posted August 29, 2007 Does this make me look like a complete idiot? At least I didn't initiate it. I hate feeling dumb.
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Don't be concerned about what the other person is thinking or feeling. Better to focus on starting again and working on yourself to move on. It will get better as time goes on. Believe it.
underpants Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I've broken NC before from being contacted. I guess I felt like venting so who better to take it, than the perp. Me too, akin to taking an ego and placing it into a blender and hitting that fancy button named...'puree'. OP, I have responded to you before and you admitted that a part of you enjoys the attention of an unworthy suitor. Why? These are the more important questions to ask yourself rather then stumbling on what weird contact means. So you stumbled and responded, pick youself up, dust yourself off and start NC all over again. However, do work on your goals.
CaliGuy Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 WHY CAN'T I DO NC? EVERYTIME I AM CONTACTED, I GET SUCKED BACK IN. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? I told myself I would cut all contact starting tomorrow and then I got contacted again. And of course I answered. How foolish am I? And I think I made a fool of myself, too. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. When you learn to love and respect yourself, you'll be able to stick to NC. Until you get to the breaking point where you say "I am tired of this crap!" you'll keep falling for it. To love and respect others, you first have to love and respect yourself.
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Me too, akin to taking an ego and placing it into a blender and hitting that fancy button named...'puree'. I always puree b/s when it's passed off as honest emotion...
2sunny Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 i can never do the NC thing. i do have self confidence - but i still don't know how to do the NC thing. it's too hard! just move forward and be good to yourself - that's what i do!
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Could you expand on your comment Story? I didn't quite catch that.
Storyrider Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Could you expand on your comment Story? I didn't quite catch that. Are you saying my meaning is unclear?
2sunny Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Could you expand on your comment Story? I didn't quite catch that. i'm glad i'm not the only one that didn't get it...
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Are you saying my meaning is unclear? The meaning was clear, the direction was not. i'm glad i'm not the only one that didn't get it... No idea.
Storyrider Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I think it speaks for itself. If I expanded on it, it would just be a longer version of the same thing: !@##$*&&^^%$$$#@@@#$%%%%$$%
Storyrider Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Just consider it the ravings of a depraved woman who's had too much wine. Yes, per above.
Author sunnysideup1 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Posted August 29, 2007 Haha, At least this thread became somewhat amusing. Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them. I agree that I obviously need to do some self-reflection on myself as to why I feel the need to talk with people that abuse me emotionally.
Author sunnysideup1 Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 I am so upset. One of the people I'm trying to not talk to is seeing someone. I feel so stupid.
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I am so upset. One of the people I'm trying to not talk to is seeing someone. I feel so stupid. One of the people I am not talking to is seeing several people...he has a rotational cue you see...kind of like a merry go round. Realizing this made me feel smart. It is all how you wrap your head around lifes 'trivial' disappointments.
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 If someone abuses you emotionally, you might feel you need to redeem yourself in their eyes, for whatever reason, to convince them that you're worthy. Very much abuser/abusee mentality.
Author sunnysideup1 Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 If someone abuses you emotionally, you might feel you need to redeem yourself in their eyes, for whatever reason, to convince them that you're worthy. Very much abuser/abusee mentality. [/Quote] Wow! This is so true...
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Now that this rings true to you, how are you going to utilize this information? Hopefully you're going to apply it next time and stop yourself from needing to connect with a person who's abusive with you.
underpants Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 If someone abuses you emotionally, you might feel you need to redeem yourself in their eyes, for whatever reason, to convince them that you're worthy. Very much abuser/abusee mentality. I would ponder that perhaps you and I have done some similar research. Sunny, if you find yourself on a merry go round where attempts to reason with someone is consistently met with hurt, mixed in with just enough good to make you take one more ...cycle. You really need to step off of the ride completely. Once removed (physically and emotionally) you can begin the process of learning how to restate to yourself, what it is you want for yourself. Why seek validation from someone who derives pleasure by inducing pain and hurt on you???
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 I would ponder that perhaps you and I have done some similar research.It wouldn't surprise me a bit... People tend to cycle through what they are comfortable with, regardless of how dysfunctional the cycle.
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