capuchin08 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Me and my boyfriend are always getting in fights over inconsiderate things which he does. Like, today he was making a left turn and made an uneccesary risk which could have resulting in a huge truck bolting into my side of the car. Sometimes he parks in spots so that I can barely get out and he has plenty of room. Sexually, he typically does enough to gratify himself and he will usually fall asleep afterwards if I ask him to do something for me after he is done. He says he cares about me "alot" but cannot express this in a very articulate fashion. Sometimes he cuts people off in traffic and does not feel bad about it. He says he does not have to "conform to society's standards of right and wrong". I am starting to get the feeling that he is not very considerate. That he is only nice to meet his own ends. Like he only does just enough to be a reasonably good boyfriend but doesnt really care to be anything more. He says he cares about me an "8" on a scale of 1 to 10. I asked why not 10 and he feels we have been through too much emotional pain for him to care about me that much. But I guess I want someone who cares about me 10. It seems like anything less is just settling and if he only cares about me 8 now, what will he care about me 50 years from now when we have been through alot more fights. The problem is that I realy care about him and love him and I feel really horrible leaving all the love and intimacy I have had with him behind, but I don't know what to do...
Lauriebell82 Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 The thing that I don't like is that he rated you. That is total b.s. Dump this guy, he seems like an idiot. Nobody should have to settle for a 8, instead of a 10.
allina Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 This guy sounds very annoying and obnoxious. How long have you been with him? i think you should cut your losses and find something better.
KittenMoon Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 IMO, a significant part of a sucessful relationship is the desire to try to make your partner happy. This guy doesn't sound much like he has much interest in making you happy at all.
lindya Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 He says he does not have to "conform to society's standards of right and wrong". He sounds obnoxious, selfish and unsatisfying in bed. It must be very irritating to have to listen to wanky, clichéd, intellectual-wannabee explanations for that inconsiderate behaviour. One day you might look back on this relationship and blush for all the wrong reasons. Or you might not - if he makes a habit of driving carelessly and putting you at risk.
Yosef Posted September 1, 2007 Posted September 1, 2007 Is love worth hate? When you love someone, and the someone loves you back. That is a true connection. It is, well, Love. When inconcideracy comes into play, you've got a little trouble. Is the love you have for someone worth the pain you must go through? Should your marriage hurt you more than help you? For better or for worse, will it be worse than better? If he is really the man for you, threaten to break the relationship unless he changes. If he changes for you, then be glad, you've found a good man. If he chooses to put you behind himself, he is not Love. "A man must be able to put his wife before himself. Are you able to do that, Peter?" - Aunt May, Spiderman 3
Izzy B Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 I am going to agree with Yosef in a way, your boyfriend needs to feel as if he might lose you. This will mean you not always picking up his calls. This will mean that you tell him you have other plans when he wants to get together. This will mean that you will be a lot more unavailable to him. If he starts reaching out and wanting you, showing you he cares in a real way, you know there is hope. However, he has to be consistent. The thing that he doesn't want to satisfy you in bed worries me, however.
Lyssa Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Oh wow, I'm sorry you're dating this guy. You seem to be a well brought up person and this guy you're dating is obnoxious and selfish. He doesn't even care what happens to you... he put you and of course himself in danger with the way he's driving. He shouldn't be driving like that with a loved one in the car. I know it's just not about how he drives, it's so much more but d*** it... I just hate wreckless drivers! Oh and he sleeps when you're done with him and how about you?! Gee whizz...
InsanityImpaired Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 He does nothing to enhance your life. Need I say more? Get rid of him. Pick Yosef's option if you don't mind to be a trainer for a silly puppy. This one is beyond repair.
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