bish Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Why not? Then why is he giving up his wife, his life as he knows it to be with you??? If you have no plans on marrying him and living with him, building a life with him - why bother? exactly, and she already said she knows the "chemicals" wear off...so looks like she and he are willing to bust up a marriage, rather than him working on it(probably because the only reason is the A is new), to simply have a short term level of euphoria and gratification.
scaredinlove Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 My MM had told me that his marriage/ roommate situation is coming to a head. I understand this to be a common MM thing. Keep the girlfriend around by saying the marriage is over, yada, yada, yada. Well, it is all lawyers and money now. I never thought he would ACTUALLY get divorced. I'm kind of scared because I now feel like he left her for me. I know that is not the case, but still. As if our relationship has a million expectations on it. I want him to get divorced and I want to be with him. I just never knew that there was going to be so many scary feelings to go along with it. SB, I think this is quite normal. My MM today was telling me how his M is not going anywhere and how he thinks it will be over and yada yada. Now I know he was just talking and he was upset and he is not divoecing. But like you I started panicking too. I was thinking and if what he is saying is truth. Intead of being happy I felt fear. I don't know it makes no sense but I guess is just fear of the unkhown.It must be normal ,I heard pepople saying the same before...
Author Snagbag Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 My MMs' W is the one who is seeking out the divorce. So, I don't really see how I am busting up his marriage. And he believes that she has met someone, too. They have a son togther and he worries that he is going to see less of him than he does now. As it is, he works away from home and is only there 3 days a week. And the hard part for me is that when he does get divorced, I don't know if I can do what I need to do in order to be with him. He is 15 years my senior, lives 3 states away, and also happens to be my co-worker. The only thing that doesn't seem complicated is the way my heart feels.
norajane Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 Intead of being happy I felt fear. I don't know it makes no sense but I guess is just fear of the unkhown.It must be normal ,I heard pepople saying the same before... Is it fear of commitment? I've often thought that women get involved with MM (and to other types of unavailable men, emotionally or geographically unavailable, for example), because of an underlying fear of commitment and/or fear of intimacy. With a MM, you have a relationship, but...it has limits, and that is more 'comfortable' for OW. That was true in my case.
waiting4heaven Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 Ah don't worry about it...you will be fine. Another family destroyed....you should be happy. That is just awful to say! I hate to be the one to inform you, but happy couples don't cheat!!! So something was amiss in the marriage long before she walked into the picture... so how are you blaming her? Be strong girl and yes, MM do leave their wives. Fairytales do sometimes come true, just don't hope for anything and live life day to day. What is meant to be always finds away!!!
Lyssa Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 That is just awful to say! I hate to be the one to inform you, but happy couples don't cheat!!! So something was amiss in the marriage long before she walked into the picture... so how are you blaming her? Be strong girl and yes, MM do leave their wives. Fairytales do sometimes come true, just don't hope for anything and live life day to day. What is meant to be always finds away!!! Nicely said.
Tsuki no Michi Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 but they sure as hell shouldn't have someone in the wings influencing them. Should not, perhaps. However, I have seen in many unhappy relationships that one (or both perhaps) members are sometimes looking for the strength to leave. An affair is often what gives one of them the courage to do what they have wanted to do for a long time, but for whatever reason did not feel they could. Perhaps it is fear of the unknown, fear of having no one to support you at the other end, I don't know. But what I do know is that such a blanket statement as you have made is quite far from the truth of many real relationships whether you personally agree with it or not. Many are not nearly as black and white as you portray them and you do a disservice to people by suggesting all such breakups must happen the way you think they should. That may be what *you* want, but it may not fit everyone's needs. Many people are simply not as strong emotionally as others and cannot take the hard road so easily. We all need help in this life. Sometimes we need it more than others in the same situation. It doesn't make us bad, it only makes us human. What is meant to be always finds away!!! I certainly hope so . TNM
blowingthetrout Posted September 2, 2007 Posted September 2, 2007 If the truth comes off as bitchy....so be it. *blowingthetrout says "Jesus, whatever slammed into your balls must have been that same thing that made the dinosaurs go extinct."* If there are problems then why doesn't he leave? And if you know there are problems, then I guess you feel its your job to satisfy a married man. Sounds like a vulture to me. *blowingthetrout says "is this the forum of Make Believe?"* You have committment issues, so you feel the need to mess with someone elses committment. Ya I know...the MM is more to blame. But homewrecking and marriage busting wouldn't go on if there weren't OM/OW who felt justified in sleeping with other people's spouses. *blowingthetrout says "If you can't put a finger on your problem(s). then touch your finger to your forehead"* If the marriage was to fail anyway, then fine...let it fail. But I think most of the time it is due to a MM/MW just wanting attention from someone other than the same old person they have been with for years...they then think its love because its exciting, and they may or may not bust their marriage or destroy their family over it...but they sure as hell shouldn't have someone in the wings influencing them. *blowingthetrout says " how dare anyone get there needs filled while their husband whoops wife is being like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans right? ok "* uh...ok. So you know the "chemicals" wear off. So that means you both are willing to destroy a family for temporary gratification. Ya ya ya...I know..you think its love and so does he. *blowingthetrout says "How many meth heads do you know?"* exactly, and she already said she knows the "chemicals" wear off...so looks like she and he are willing to bust up a marriage, rather than him working on it(probably because the only reason is the A is new), to simply have a short term level of euphoria and gratification. *blowingthetrout says "I'm not a parent bish, but I can only imagine the feeling of pride yours had in watching you blossom into the well-rounded, attention craving, knuckle dragging, listless, morally bankrupt, big retarded panda baby that you are." LoveShack is like visiting f&cking super mario land WOW I'm never bored, especially now that I discoved this scandalous fiend Bish! *gets the shrimp on the Barbie*
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