Melovator Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 Hi, I think this is more of a coping question... I'm a writer by... desire? nature? and now I feel I have lost my words... this may sound bizarre to anyone whose read me over on sep/div but I mean as a writer. I get flashes and it all comes out... dumb... lost between the page and the screen... melancholy twaddle of the highest adolescent order... I am not working on my novel... despite the fact that I finally got a plot for two characters I haven't been able to shake for seven years... the plot is kinda my life before I conciously knew it was my life... so I know I'm going to need some time before going back to it... of course its all good material... just unprocessed at this stage. So poets, artists, actors, musicans, glass blowers, furniture designers, potters, mimes (I presume you can type), basket weavers all of you creative people and yes especially other writers... how do I start to get my creative groove back on... I'm a woeful poet... a passable painter... (All things I usually do to avoid writing!) Or do I just accept that I have no real voice at the moment and wait for it? It does come back right?
funkybassplayer Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 Hi im a pro bass player, and what i have found is that it helped me cope, but another thing i have found is that as you begin to break free from the ex, as i am, if you visit these pages less often, it will help, as reading and posting will keep bringing you back to your own break-up, of course untill a time that your ready to be back here to help others. This has been a great site in helping me vent and look and help others with advice, but i have found that since iv been on here less, iv been moving on faster-but then again it could be the other way round, cos as im moving on, maybe i feel the need to be on here less!!
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 It does come back hunni, trick is not to dwell on the fact and go get out there....take a break and come back refreshed. Take up an activity that won't give you room to stress about your writers block. Sometimes if you over work it it'll slowly come to a stance...just need to go recharge your emotional batteries
Author Melovator Posted August 28, 2007 Author Posted August 28, 2007 That is true funkybassplayer, I should perhaps be indulging in a bit more novel reading at the very least instead of sitting in front of a blank screen for minutes at a time before either coming on here or googling once again "Spells to remove love." (thought it might be creative to get down with chicken livers in my backyard and exorcise the ex as it were- should have done it tonight- absolutely amazing eclipse!). I'm going out... a lot for me and I'm a homebody by nature. And with different people and doing different things, have even signed up for an art class because I find it soothing even though my painting itself is often disturbing... going to take up golf... sounds dumb but you walk and there's a bar at the end... how can you go wrong???? Nights- I just get frustrated because I'm doing everyhting I should be to get through this, diet, excercise, therapy both psychological and retail, I read self help books, I've cleaned cupboards, organised drawers, I use my diary even! And the one thing I really want back more than I would even want that fantasy 'better than best' version of my ex back is my writing. I had that before him, it was there before him, as soon as I could write I was making up stories! It makes me 'me'... if I don't have that then I REALLY have no clue who me is. I was just getting back into it after having my son and then all this cr@p happened... Sorry, having a moment, I'm going to go and read The Stainless Steel Rat- can't cry when reading that, its impossible. Thank you for your time.
funkybassplayer Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 That is true funkybassplayer, I should perhaps be indulging in a bit more novel reading at the very least instead of sitting in front of a blank screen for minutes at a time before either coming on here or googling once again "Spells to remove love." (thought it might be creative to get down with chicken livers in my backyard and exorcise the ex as it were- should have done it tonight- absolutely amazing eclipse!). I'm going out... a lot for me and I'm a homebody by nature. And with different people and doing different things, have even signed up for an art class because I find it soothing even though my painting itself is often disturbing... going to take up golf... sounds dumb but you walk and there's a bar at the end... how can you go wrong???? Nights- I just get frustrated because I'm doing everyhting I should be to get through this, diet, excercise, therapy both psychological and retail, I read self help books, I've cleaned cupboards, organised drawers, I use my diary even! And the one thing I really want back more than I would even want that fantasy 'better than best' version of my ex back is my writing. I had that before him, it was there before him, as soon as I could write I was making up stories! It makes me 'me'... if I don't have that then I REALLY have no clue who me is. I was just getting back into it after having my son and then all this cr@p happened... Sorry, having a moment, I'm going to go and read The Stainless Steel Rat- can't cry when reading that, its impossible. Thank you for your time. You know when people say keep busy, well you do it to take your mind off the ex right. i never did, and stayed focused on feeling all the pain untill it left me. I have a theory that keeping busy for the ex never works. Its only worth doing things when you want to ie, if you really want to work out or clean the cupboards, cos otherwise your keeping busy only for your ex.
kirikat Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 Here is what I do when I am stuck: I allow myself to write BADLY. You can always go back and edit it, or you can wad it up and burn it. Sometimes, (I am a theatre director my trade....) when my actors are stuck - I give them the SPECIFIC instruction to do scenes as badly as possible. I encourage them to be really awful.... Permission to stink sometimes helps you find your words again, allows you to "lighten up" - and takes the pressure off performance, and directs your attention back to the process. Good luck, because I have shared your pain!
Kasan Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 When I am stuck, and I am a fiber artist, I take a workshop outside my medium and I visit lots of exhibits. It gives me a new perspective. Although you feel that you have lost your words, I think you are extremely articulate and I love the way you write. Best to you.
Author Melovator Posted August 28, 2007 Author Posted August 28, 2007 You know when people say keep busy, well you do it to take your mind off the ex right. i never did, and stayed focused on feeling all the pain untill it left me. I have a theory that keeping busy for the ex never works. Its only worth doing things when you want to ie, if you really want to work out or clean the cupboards, cos otherwise your keeping busy only for your ex. When he first left there was definately a keeping busy to avoid thinking about him, then I realised he was going to keep popping in my head no matter what, just that when I was busy I was less likely to break down (and have a near two year old can't be weepy mummy all the time) and I really do like having clean cupboards, it gives me a sense of being in control of my life when I know exactly where to find something. I can't stay focused on the pain, when it comes I let it happen, ride it through, do what I've got to get through a particular moment, but I don't focus on it, I don't feed it. Because at the end of the day I do believe that sh*t happens in life but I can't hold onto it. That's why I want to get writing again, so I can use the pain and then let it go, get it out. Here is what I do when I am stuck: I allow myself to write BADLY. You can always go back and edit it, or you can wad it up and burn it. Sometimes, (I am a theatre director my trade....) when my actors are stuck - I give them the SPECIFIC instruction to do scenes as badly as possible. I encourage them to be really awful.... Permission to stink sometimes helps you find your words again, allows you to "lighten up" - and takes the pressure off performance, and directs your attention back to the process. Good luck, because I have shared your pain! I can stink, I can stink good! And the performance/ process thing- I get that and one thing I have noticed recently is that I'm not reading fiction as an escape so much anymore (Stainless Steel Rat aside) but am once again starting to read fiction as a writer of fiction does, looking at the craft of a piece rather than just admiring the art of it. When I am stuck, and I am a fiber artist, I take a workshop outside my medium and I visit lots of exhibits. It gives me a new perspective. Although you feel that you have lost your words, I think you are extremely articulate and I love the way you write. Best to you. I call the new perspective 'brainbuzz' I find art exhibitions are great for brainbuzz for me, and there's a few things happening here at the moment... Thankyou for the compliment. Thanks everyone, this is just another of those crappy things that come with relationship breakdowns right? Well I do know some people who become ultra-prolific in their pain... my muse will come back from his round the world drinking marathon (my muse is a lazy Australian Yobbo called Bazza who has a mullet... that's when I'm not writing when I writing he's a Barry White Walrus of Love type figure- seriously thinking of trading him in for a female muse....) and I will write again in time... Thank you for your time.
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I'm going to go and read The Stainless Steel Rat - Haha...no kidding. I loved that book. Haven't read it for years. Why not write about what you've been going through? If it's only for your eyes for later, it can't hurt to get it out as it's happening. In letting some of that hurt out, you might make some room inside of you, so that other creative thoughts can enter.
Storyrider Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Ass in chair. Fingers on keyboard. Logged off Internet. That is the key to getting your writing done. Don't worry about whether it is good or not until you have at least 20 pages. Then put it in a drawer for a week and work on the next 20 pages. Then take the first 20 out and read it, and see if it is good. Keep your fingers moving on the keyboard and don't think.
Author Melovator Posted August 29, 2007 Author Posted August 29, 2007 Haha...no kidding. I loved that book. Haven't read it for years. Why not write about what you've been going through? If it's only for your eyes for later, it can't hurt to get it out as it's happening. In letting some of that hurt out, you might make some room inside of you, so that other creative thoughts can enter. I have the diary but i really only use it in moments of real breakdown distress- actually I found an old diary sorting through stuff- only ever wrote in it when X and I had had a fight... so if someone ever reads my diaries they're going to think X is a real pr*ck- which he is... I did try my hand at poetry to let the pain out, which I haven't done since I was 17- I'm still a baaaaaad poet, like Alanis Morrisette after she's injected temazepam... but then if I'm giving myself permission to stink it doesn't matter, does it? Ass in chair. Fingers on keyboard. Logged off Internet. That is the key to getting your writing done. Don't worry about whether it is good or not until you have at least 20 pages. Then put it in a drawer for a week and work on the next 20 pages. Then take the first 20 out and read it, and see if it is good. Keep your fingers moving on the keyboard and don't think. You're right I'm the queen of the overedit- desperately seeking perfect sentences... I think it is time to try and find my typewriter in the shed- no delete button! And just keep writing, it is the doing that's the hardest. I read in one of the many self-help books I currently own that a good idea is to just start doing ten minutes, then twenty, then thirty if you're having trouble starting a task. I might even just redo some of the exercises I did as part of my grad. dip. Put no pressure on myself to produce quality, just see what happens, it might not go anywhere in the end but it is about just getting the writing habit back at this stage. No thinking??? I do know what you mean, when its all happening my fingers fly across the keyboard with seemingly no thought- like I'm tapping into the unconscious universe or something... writing like that is a spiritual thing for me... I feel connected to everything. I think that state is what I'm really missing right now. (Please don't suggest I go to church I'm a non-practising agnostic with a strong lean towards Buddhism.) Thanks everyone for all your words... lots of strategies to use, this is just like everything else in my life I just have to keep going, keep doing it. Thanks again.
Zona76 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I don't know what you have tried. I wrote a book. A children's story. It was mostly for hobby and there was nothing done with it. But I wrote from the beginning and it went in page by page all smooth. Till a certain spot and I went blank. I knew the line of events and the plot but the words here were having me stumped. I was completely blank. Yet I knew how I was going to end the book. So I flew to the last chapter. And wrote this. Unbelievable, one that ending was done the rest came in a flood. It was based on emotions of a child and how she dealt with death. At the beginning I never planned it to be like this. It was to be a story of a shy child that found her way into becoming a flower and the center of attention... then my thoughts all changed.
madgun68 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I have found in the past that sometimes it is just not possible to force oneself in to writing something. The harder I try to focus on the task, the more my mind becomes a void. If you are coping right now, you could even try writing about that. If you're having a bad day, write about it. Surely on those days, the mind has plenty of material to work with. If you're having a good day, but still can't find your muse, go out and observe life. Perhaps while you are doing so, something will come to mind that would work as good source material or even just inspiration for a short story. If nothing seems to help then I would suggest that you place writing aside for another time. It will come back to you eventually.
directx Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 Take a step back and write something that truly moves you to writing. Maybe you should put your current project on hold a little bit and just truly look into yourself and ask yourself "What do I really want to write about, right NOW." I have to think there is always something passionate to write out somewhere in you, whether it relates to what you are currently working on or not. (Discover your Muse, maybe,like stated above. I certainly have.) Make it a short story, 4 or 5 pages. And what I like to do, is when I am ending my writing session, I stop write at a point where its almost a cliff hanger in my head. That way when I pick up again, I have the advantage of having the urgency to finish a thought or concept and it gets back into the writing groove right away. I always stop my session in mid paragraph, and NEVER at the end of a chapter, etc. Just my opinion.
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