loveinlife Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 Once someone is in love with someone, does the love last a lifetime? meaning does the feeling of love stay forever to the person even if both partners have moved on? My memories are so strong sometimes that i feel my love for my ex won't go away... I am 26, she is my first love... what do you guys/girls think?
guinea01 Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 I have loved my first love for 13 years (Im 27), but I have also loved others in that time. Just not in quite the same way. I suppose it never really does go away, just lessens over time. unfortunately for me, I am just learning how to get over him again, as we got back together after 6 years apart, and are now broken up.
kirikat Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 The other day, I was listening to a song ; "Kisses Sweeter than Wine" - and I thought of my first love (THIRTY YEARS HAVE PASSED) - and I burst into tears, because in some alternate universe, that was OUR story. So, yes - you will always remember your first love, and you will always love them. Or rather, the young man that you were will always remember the young woman that she was. And, as devestated as I was when we parted, I did get over it... and now, I am so greatful for the memory of that one, great, innocent love.
Author loveinlife Posted August 28, 2007 Author Posted August 28, 2007 that is just so sad... to find out that we once love someone so dearly to remember them for the rest of our lives and yet that our feelings doesnt go away but lessons over time. Reminds me of the song by Sarah Mclachlan: I will remember you. [FONT=Arial]I will remember you Will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad How clearly I first saw you smilin in the sun Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one I will remember you Will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Im so tired but I cant sleep Standin on the edge of something much too deep Its funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we cant be heard But I will remember you Will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Im so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light And I will remember you Will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories And I will remember you Will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Weep not for the memories[/FONT]
quankanne Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 Once someone is in love with someone, does the love last a lifetime? meaning does the feeling of love stay forever to the person even if both partners have moved on? the feeling stays, but your definition of love changes as you get older and gain more life experience (and daresay it, "love experience") ... at 17 I had a mad crush on a classmate that lingered a long time, but it didn't come close to the guy I met at 22 in college, who I thought Was The One. And I loved him deeply. So much that it was only a couple of years ago (and about 10-12 years into my marriage) that I realized what I felt was frozen in a moment of time that I idealized. Because nothing can compare to what I've built up in the Bank of Love that I share with the man I married. And there's no way I can say that I idealize our relationship, but it's the best damned thing that's ever happened to me, hands down. my personal theory is that every love relationship you allow yourself to experience brings you closer to the love you're ultimately meant to have, even when you don't even see it as such. Those relationships open up your heart to the possibility of something greater out there, even if you feel you've given the very essence of your soul to someone – there's always more love left to share with someone new. so don't spend all your time idealizing the one that got away, because he or she is just part of the ultimate journey. Sometimes we get a second or third chance to get things right with that particular person, but more often than not, we find someone completely new to help us redefine what love is.
Author loveinlife Posted August 28, 2007 Author Posted August 28, 2007 thanks quank, it aches everyday to see myself not with her, but i know if its the best thing for us and that she has found someone better who treats her better, i will be happy for her. wish me luck my friend, im going through a lot of stress these days... take care:)
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 I don't think love lasts forever unless you're still with the person and have worked hard at maintaining that love. But...fond memories do last forever.
norajane Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 I don't think love lasts forever unless you're still with the person and have worked hard at maintaining that love. But...fond memories do last forever. Agreed. I was with my 'first love' for 6 years and engaged to be married, but at this point, I remember that I was in love with him and did love him and have some good memories, but I certainly don't carry those feelings around AT ALL. I don't feel the love anymore - I just know I used to.
Curious139 Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 I suspect we all vary on this question. Nevertheless I'd suggest that members here have a high emotional intelligence, otherwise they'd just get over stuff and not feel the pain. Personally I've loved four women. The first was a schoolboy love and intense but all that remains is a nice memory. The second was a real love at university over 5 years, and I still think about her 27 years later. The third was also at university - and I loved her from afar for 25 years, but it was muted by marriage and distance. The fourth is my wife and the love is more of friendship, deep fondness. Unfortunately that isn't enough. I'm now recovering from an affair I had with my third love, after she separated from her husband. It is torture. We found all the old feelings and even more - it was wonderful. Sadly I delayed leaving my wife because of obligation duty, children, etc and my love lost hope....and found someone else. So I do think from my own xperience that the love remains within you, muted, but for the right one, ready to burst into passionate fire at any moment.
quankanne Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 but i know if its the best thing for us and that she has found someone better who treats her better, i will be happy for her. I think this is something you can find comfort in, knowing that you have enough respect in your love for her that you want her happiness even when your own happiness is denied. it's weird: You think you know the definition of love when you meet someone, and then you share something intense with that person, so that when it ends, you feel that's all there can be to loving someone, that you've reached the end of the line. Meanwhile, someone flies in under the radar and you get to know that person – maybe even care for them in a whole different way – then one day you realize, the love you were meant to have was right there all along. I know I was grieving the end of my relationship with College Boy when I met Richard, and while I cared for him and felt comfortable with him, I didn't see him it didn't hit me until after I married him that God/fate/destiny knew what my heart needed long before I could even identify that need! so don't give up hope, you'll meet the person you were meant to share a great love with, even if you don't immediately recognize her
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