FreeSpirit07 Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 Hey all. I'm back with another relationship problem.. this time it's LDR. So I'm 16 years old. I've met this wonderful girl named Nicole. She is so amazing. She is very nice, has an awesome smile, and very social. We share many interests and have a lot in common. She loves my family and I love hers. We've even given each other nicknames. It's been going really, really well. Problem is she's 18 and off to college. Today was the day that she left for college, which is about 1 hour and 30 minutes from where I live. I had her over to my house last night and threw a little 'going away' party. I felt really, really sad though because I realized I wouldn't get to be with her as often as I would like; it would be maybe...twice a month or so while she's off to college. And she could tell that I was feeling sad. We both ended up crying in each others arms at the end of the night. I asked her what she was thinking about what we should do. I told her that I'd like to keep it going. Last night she mentioned that we "break up" for a bit, then get back together during the summer when she'd be back. Then, about 1 a.m. this morning she called me and said that she just couldn't break up with me. We love each other deeply. I've promised her that I wouldn't see anyone else, and I believe she said the same to me. Problem is.. I don't know if I can have trust in her. I'm kind of emotionally torn about what I should do.. She said that we will stay together for as long as it'll work out, but I'm not sure what's the smart thing to do. Any help with coping or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
clatan Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 I don't get it?! If neither of you are going to see anyone else and you're going to see each other as soon as summer comes, then are you breaking up? If not, what's the difference between your two choices? Explain this to me. Why don't you ask her that while you're at it? You say you don't think you can trust her... maybe you can't. The whole "breakup" thing was her idea wasn't it? You said you'd only be able to see her maybe twice a month through school, so maybe that's why you think it would be a good idea to "break up" as this girl's suggesting. So I'm pretty safely assuming if you break up, you won't come to see her twice a month like you would if you were still together. This confuses me. So this girl claims she will not see anyone else and at the same time does not want to see you while she's in school. That's kind of odd isn't it?! Sorry, but it sure sounds like she's dumping you. No matter whether or not you'll see her twice a month, isn't seeing someone once every two weeks enough for a while? Do you not think you can trust her? If you can't trust her for two weeks, then I don't think you can trust her down the road when you're married and off on a business trip. Here's what I would do. I'd tell her you don't want to break up. Tell her that you'll come to see her twice a month as you'd mentioned. If she's not just dumping you, I don't see why she'd object. Plus, you'll have holidays and Spring Break won't you? If she says "no," or even so much as acts hesitant about staying together through school, I'd confront her point blank. I'd ask her why she objects to seeing you if she's supposedly not going to try and find a better guy while off in college. Bottom line... give her a choice. I'd tell her that if she wants to break up temporarily, you'd rather just stay that way when summer comes and any point past that.
mizzy_C Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 Smart thing to do would to be let her go. if you can't trust her and think she might see someone else, which is probably possible then don't put yourself through that. you are both young people and college is a time for meeting new people and making new friends. trying to stick it out when she's in a new place like college and you can't even see her often, is just gonna hurt you both if your not gonna be totally commited to one another. I was in a situation like this before when my boyfriend went off to college n we both wanted to be together, but it just didn't work out. he met new people and I eventually got over it and met someone else too. good luck
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