alexa137 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 well after days of my ex trying to instant message me i decided to respond because he kept saying dumb stuff-basically made it to the point and said i an not hiding on my computer just not always sitting in front of it! he thought that everytime he logged on i logged off--well i kinda did i made up another screen name and would stay signed on with just his screen name on my buddy list-but there were times i did log off to try th no contact thing--kinda worked he seemed worried and kept saying it was the last time he would try to talk to me blah blah blah..he said he wanted to see me and i said not a good idea and that he looks at my pics and misses me, asking me if i have been with some other guy(?) then i logged off that day-so yesterday we chatted a little bit more and i told him i didnt want to say much other than to try not to out there and have sex with someone else until you know you are over me-(i dont think he is yet) he asked if he could come see me-i was like but you told me a week ago to leave you alone! and he said why should i leave him alone? confusion! so i asked him why does he want to see me? and he said to see your dace and what been up with me-i wasnt sure said maybe not a good idea-he said he thinks about me more than i think- so i told him i was going out for awhile maybe later-so later on that night he ended up coming over and i said well you see me( i was all dressed up looking and smelling nice you know to show him what hes been missing-i lost weight,etc..)took a look at me and then attacked me and the kisses and hormones started jumping and we had crazy sex twice! i mean when you are used to it everyday 2-3 times a day for 16 months and then go almost two weeks without it--your body starts craving it and when you get it whoa! you want more! i dont know whats gonna happen this time! i just not gonna say too much-thats when things get heated between us! i have a feeling(which is not good) that this will keep happening-he only thing really good between us is the sex! we have broekn up 2 times before and in that time we always ended having sex in between the time aparts! so what do you do? cut him off? i dont th ink hes ready to make a decision? but ive known along time that i could actually be with him and only him for the rest of my life-i dont see any men out there that attract me and i scared of all the risks in meeting someone new like diseases or they could be a murderer or something!
livebuzzwords Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I probably could use therapy, but I really can't afford it at this point in my life. I don't have health insurance - these things are important - and maybe if we had a little list of things needed beforehand it might help us this is just like what i need - i would be able to do this if i was not taking care of my mental health so ...
Author alexa137 Posted August 28, 2007 Author Posted August 28, 2007 if you are suggesting counseling ive been going since march! but i can stop thinking about the things he said to me last night-yesterday all day he was instant messaging me and then tried calling all day like 10 times-finally begging me to come see me said he had to see me-told him cant do this-makes it worse-how are we supposed to move on if we keep talking and having sex? well after begging i gave in and he came over-we talked a few mins asked me for hug i started crying(emotions taking over)we had sex and then he actually stayed for like an hour and told me alot-like how he misses my silly stuff, misses being beside me the touching etc...and that he logs on like every hour to see if i am on the computer, thinks about another guy being here and if he does see one he might do something! he doesnt like the way i dress(sexy, of course) and that highlighting my hair makes him horny, and he thinks about me alot more than i think, cant go the places we used to go together, all day at work he was thinking about me nerves bad and so on...he questioned me about a phone # on my bulletin board(it was nothing) asked me if i am calling guys--i am not, i told him that everything that has to do with us, our relationship past and the future is "i dont know" for me right now--i mean i want to meet other guys but then i dont, i really feel and thought i could be with this guy for a very long time! our intimacy is so explosive--he just thinks of me and gets horny and we can just talk about anything on the phone and i get horny--like our pirvate parts know they belong to each other! i dont know i could on and on--he says he thinks about coming back but not sure and he doesnt want me to wait for him! its just so confusing and know its worst-i dont know to start the no contact thing again or what!??
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