sunnysideup1 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I'm 21 years old and have gone on one date with a 42-year old. He wants to continue seeing me. I know that he doesn't have a girlfriend and isn't married. He also doesn't have kids. Anyway, I'm wondering what people think of this age difference. Do you think it is the wisest decision to stop dating now before it gets complicated? I wouldn't mind seeing him again but all of my friends tell me that the only reason he wants to date me is because he wants to impress his friends by dating a younger girl, as well as get laid by one. I'm a virgin, though, and don't intend to sleep with someone until I'm beyond comfortable doing so. I guess I'm afraid of his intentions because of my friends' concerns, although they've never met him.
monkey00 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 If you're considering long-term, think of this - when you're 41, he'll be 62
livebuzzwords Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 i have noticed that recently - ex and i had 7 year difference in age - it actually shows i like someone closer to my age or the same age it makes a difference
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 7 years is an age difference? My H is 7 years older. I don't see a gap at all. But my ex-H was 19 years older than me. I was almost 25 when we met and he was 44. That said, I really don't recommend it. I just don't. The relationship was really skewed. It was never equal. He completely dominated it. I really advise against it.
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I'm 21 years old and have gone on one date with a 42-year old. He wants to continue seeing me. I know that he doesn't have a girlfriend and isn't married. He also doesn't have kids. Anyway, I'm wondering what people think of this age difference. Do you think it is the wisest decision to stop dating now before it gets complicated? I wouldn't mind seeing him again but all of my friends tell me that the only reason he wants to date me is because he wants to impress his friends by dating a younger girl, as well as get laid by one. I'm a virgin, though, and don't intend to sleep with someone until I'm beyond comfortable doing so. I guess I'm afraid of his intentions because of my friends' concerns, although they've never met him. Not a good idea if you want long term... Your friends could be right.. it is a high 'ego boost' to be seen with a much younger date... trust me on that one... LOL If you were older and NOT a virgin I would suggest you go for it and have fun... but since you're only 21, still a virgin.. I say.. forget about him.. my guess is that he just wants to have fun with a young virgin... I can't blame him though... Only YOU know what's good for YOU. Think about it thoroughly...
Author sunnysideup1 Posted August 26, 2007 Author Posted August 26, 2007 Thanks for the advice. I don't want anything long-term in my life right now. I'm planning on going abroad after next year, due to what I'm studying in school, and staying abroad for at least a year. I guess I've just been really confused in my life right now and wanted to have a lil fun. I thought to myself that maybe I could go out with this man on the weekends and just have a little bit of fun, like a fling, since I don't want to get involved in a relationship at this time in my life. I know he's not looking for anything serious, either. I feel kind of like I should be dating at this time in my life...I know that sounds silly...I guess I just hear about all my friends going on all these dates and not settling down with someone and I wanna try that too. I'm really sick of the bull**** that I've been dealt from guys in my life and I'm happy that at least this would be an upfront situation. I would know that neither of us were in it for the long-run and wouldn't have to worry about that. Then again, I look really young for my age. People mistake me for a high-schooler all the time, looks-wise and could probably pass for 15 or 16. I think it may be strange to have people mistaking my date for my father and staring, etc. I've never been in this situation before. I think I'm really tired of guys my age, and wanted to try something different. I'm tired of the notion that I need to find a serious guy to be with but I don't know if this is the best idea.
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Thanks for the advice. I don't want anything long-term in my life right now. I'm planning on going abroad after next year, due to what I'm studying in school, and staying abroad for at least a year. I guess I've just been really confused in my life right now and wanted to have a lil fun. I thought to myself that maybe I could go out with this man on the weekends and just have a little bit of fun, like a fling, since I don't want to get involved in a relationship at this time in my life. I know he's not looking for anything serious, either. I feel kind of like I should be dating at this time in my life...I know that sounds silly...I guess I just hear about all my friends going on all these dates and not settling down with someone and I wanna try that too. I'm really sick of the bull**** that I've been dealt from guys in my life and I'm happy that at least this would be an upfront situation. I would know that neither of us were in it for the long-run and wouldn't have to worry about that. Then again, I look really young for my age. People mistake me for a high-schooler all the time, looks-wise and could probably pass for 15 or 16. I think it may be strange to have people mistaking my date for my father and staring, etc. I've never been in this situation before. I think I'm really tired of guys my age, and wanted to try something different. I'm tired of the notion that I need to find a serious guy to be with but I don't know if this is the best idea. Well, then go for it if you really think you won't get emotionally involved and get hurt. But I'd save my virginity for something more serious.
IpAncA Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Why o why are younger people attracted to old people? This I will never understand and some of you have some werid turn-ons. You know I am going to say that your both on different levels but maybe your not and maybe he wants an ego boost which I'm sure he does. I wouldn't think of this guy as long term unless that's what you both want. Good luck!
Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Why o why are younger people attracted to old people? This I will never understand and some of you have some werid turn-ons. You know I am going to say that your both on different levels but maybe your not and maybe he wants an ego boost which I'm sure he does. I wouldn't think of this guy as long term unless that's what you both want. Good luck! 42 is old?
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Why o why are younger people attracted to old people? This I will never understand and some of you have some werid turn-ons. You know I am going to say that your both on different levels but maybe your not and maybe he wants an ego boost which I'm sure he does. I wouldn't think of this guy as long term unless that's what you both want. Good luck! I don't know how old you are... I suppose your SO is the same age as you... have you ever been with a much younger guy?
IpAncA Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I don't know how old you are... I suppose your SO is the same age as you... have you ever been with a much younger guy? I'm 26. And no I haven't been with a much younger guy. If I did that then I'd have to date someone who's like 19 or something. No thank you I'll pass on immature boy.
Trialbyfire Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 No thank you I'll pass on immature boy. While I'm not anti-age difference, I am anti-maturity difference, so I fully agree with you here. Every woman should pass on the emotionally immature boy, non-age reliant. OP, the age difference doesn't bother me but the maturity difference would. The only possibility is if the two of you are at similar maturity levels. Look hard at this. Btw, make 100% certain this guy isn't married. The last thing you want is to complicate the situation with all the angst surrounding an affair.
4Q2 Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Why o why are younger people attracted to old people? This I will never understand and some of you have some werid turn-ons. Well I believe some young women are attracted to an older man because he is viewed, by her, in terms of more likely to provide stability and security.
jerbear Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I'm 21 years old and have gone on one date with a 42-year old. 21 and still have 21 years ahead of you... I recommend against this. He has been thru more of life compared to you. 21 is kinda starting out. Remember it is 100% increase of your age; when it reaches 50% then go for it.
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