should i be worried it's on the way out?

[Paddy1916]

new member here, so hello everyone!

 

i've been seeing this great girl for the last 5 months. i'm very attracted to her and she's a genuinely "good" person. she's definite LTR material and someone i would like to spend a lot of time with. we see each other a few times and week and spend most weekends together. we have only had an argument once, but it was fairly minor, patched up fairly quickly and hasn't been mentioned again. she says she loves me and i believe her.

 

here is the deal. early this week i took her out for a concert. it was a surprise for her and she was really stoked and we had a great evening. that night we had had quite a few drinks. we went to bed and we were having sex and i went to try anal. we have done this before (i.e. anal) on a few occasions and talked about it. she says she likes it and has even initiated it on another occasion. this night however she refused. i accepted this but was a bit confused. she left the next morning and tells me she'll give me a call. there's no bad atmosphere.

 

the next day she calls, but not until 11pm, when she knows i'll be asleep in bed (she knows this as i have to work real early). she leaves a message and tells me she misses me. i give her a call the following evening, the phone rings but she doesnt pick up. she calls back about an hour and a half later. i deliberately don't pick up as i'm feeling a bit confused with her due to the above and the previous night's events.

 

i call her the next day - we have a short 5 min conversation - it's a bit awkward - but we arrange to meet up at the weekend. the night before we arrange to meet up she's going up to see a girlfriend about a 4 hour drive away - she says she'll leave first thing the next morning (on the weekend) to come down to see me the following day.

 

i text her twice over the following 2 days just to tell her i'm thinking of her - nothing too mushy though. she replies, but on one occasion about 6 hours after i text. this is unusual for her as it's never been more than an hour or two for her to reply at most.

 

today is the day on the weekend we're supposed to meet up. i'm hanging around all afternoon waiting for her and expecting her to get here any minute as she's leaving her girlfriend's first thing right? wrong. i get a call late afternoon to say she's just leaving her girlfriend's now and won't get here for another 4 hours. the day is gone now and still i'm hanging around. i think about sending her a text to let her know how i'm pissed off i am at her for wasting my day and not letting me know, but i resist as i don't want to antagnosie the situation and make something out of nothing.

 

is there a problem here, or is this all in my head? i'm not really into games. for my own mental health i really need someone who is consistent with me. is she just testing me? i really want this to work, but at the same time i don't want to be fooled around. i accept relationships have their ups and downs but if it's on the way out i don't want to invest any more of my emotions in this.

 

thanks in advance.

 

paddy

[jcster]

I think you're reading too much into this - largely due to the fact that she turned you down for anal. I think this made you feel a bit insecure, and now you're building mountains out of molehills.

 

So, let's look at only the facts:

1. she didn't want to do anal that night

2. she calls late the next day, says she misses you

3. she makes plans to hang out with you after she comes back from friend's house

4. she leaves too late from friend's house to see you that day.

 

It sounds like you're suffering from a bad case of everyday life. The honeymoon might be over, but that doesn't mean that the relationship is. Sadly, most people don't exit the honeymoon stage at the same time. She's out of that stage, and you're still there. Ouch.