wieniawskiheifetzz Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 if you want more background information you can just read my other post so ive liked this girl for a year (notice liked is in the past tense) and then i guess she kept me around because she was fliting with the idea of us being together but never really put any effort into it while i was doing all the work. so i asked her out one day and she rejected me. and then i did all the wrong things that would push her away even more like beg and get angry. so all that happened about a month or two ago and now i see how i was wrong with the whole stuation and i can understand why she didnt feel any attraction to me but i still want her to know that she was wrong to have played with my feelings. i have somewhat absolved her of her responsibility by accepting it and just "playing along" with her games so heres the deal. i want her to see that ive changed and i want her to start liking me (ps she thought she might have liked me before) i dont necessarily plan on liking her again but i want her to like me and know that she cant have me even if she wanted to. before she just saw me as an option and she knew she could always get me whenever she wanted to but i want her to know that im not that easy. if not that, i at least want her to know that she was wrong to toy with me or anyone for that matter. i feel that i have justified her behavior by accepting it. this is also part of my coping. i demand respect and i think its about time that i stood up for myself. does anyone have any opinions on this? am i going about this whole situation the wrong way? and by the way, thanks for reading
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Dude, your going to get torched for this post! You can do this. If she "kind of" liked you before, it would be super easy to run games on her... but I dont think you would like yourself afterwards. Vengeneance like this is a double edged sword. Seriously, nothing will both hurt and help her more than telling her the truth of why you dont like her anymore! Nobody like to hear what an Ahole they are!
Diplok Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Yes, you are going about it terribly. The fact that you want revenge tells me you haven't let go. You say you absolved her of any responsibility yet you want revenge. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want revenge is because you feel she's wronged you. If so, then you haven't truly forgiven her. If I were you, I would find some alone time to think of everything that happened between you and her. After gathering your thoughts forgive her for any wrong she may have done to you. I doubt you want to go through life with pain, and hatred in your heart, if you do, you will never be happy. Then, move on. Stop calling her, stop blaming her and start accepting the fact that you will meet someone who will love you.
Kamille Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Let the torching begin: You are obviously in high school. Go get the album Let it be by the Beatles. You'll see, feeling anger is a part of healing - but letting things go is where the miracle really starts to happen. Whisper words of wisdom: let it be.
Trialbyfire Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 1. You liked a girl. 2. You asked her out and she said no. 3. You embarrassed yourself by begging and getting angry. 4. Now you want revenge on her. Do I need to say anymore?
yergawd Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Unless you love wasting time on nonsense just drop it. Honestly, you said she kind of liked you, now she doesn't people have the right to fall in and out of interest with people. Does it sometimes suck? of course. But put your enrgy to a more constructive avenue. What is the best you can hope to achieve? hurting someone because they decided they did not want to be with you. and had the power over you at the moment to end it. Walk away find another girl. Besides letting her know you have moved on through your actions is far better revenge than resorting to childish games
kymberann Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 i dont necessarily plan on liking her again but i want her to like me and know that she cant have me even if she wanted to. What a waste of time and cruel intentions on your part. Besides she will know what you are up to and word will get out that this is the way you operate, then you won't have anyone liking you. THen you will really be kicking yourself in the ass!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Ok, that kind of tipped the scales. If your doing this for some kind of revenege, you wont be happy or satisfied with the results. If your doing this to regain confidence, maybe prove that this girl was just wrong about you, then OK. She doesnt have the right to just string you along like that. Here's a link to what is probably my worst post ever. The situation is different, however the idea's can easily be adapted to fit your situation. I will answer questions PRN. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127666/
jcster Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Ok, that kind of tipped the scales. If your doing this for some kind of revenege, you wont be happy or satisfied with the results. If your doing this to regain confidence, maybe prove that this girl was just wrong about you, then OK. NO! Not ok! Cobra, I love you, but you are a crusty, old, cynical dating machine, - and this is a heartbroken kid. His old, "I don't want revenge, I just want my confidence back" is an obvious rationalization. It won't rebuild his confidence, it will warp him for life. OP, do you really want to be a vindictive azz? Is that your self image? You're going to run into people who play with your feelings from now until you die. It's a fact of life, and wasting your time chasing them down to prove to them how wrong they were is never going to get you the love and respect you want. (not to mention destroying any ounce of self-respect you have for yourself). This is a learning experience, you're right, but the lesson is how to move on. She doesnt have the right to just string you along like that. Yes, she does. He also has the right to leave someone who is stringing him along. He failed to do that, and has no right to cry about it.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 NO! Not ok! Cobra, I love you, but you are a crusty, old, cynical dating machine, - and this is a heartbroken kid. His old, "I don't want revenge, I just want my confidence back" is an obvious rationalization. It won't rebuild his confidence, it will warp him for life. OP, do you really want to be a vindictive azz? Is that your self image? You're going to run into people who play with your feelings from now until you die. It's a fact of life, and wasting your time chasing them down to prove to them how wrong they were is never going to get you the love and respect you want. (not to mention destroying any ounce of self-respect you have for yourself). This is a learning experience, you're right, but the lesson is how to move on. Yes, she does. He also has the right to leave someone who is stringing him along. He failed to do that, and has no right to cry about it. Crusty, Old, Cynical Dating Machine? I hope your bieng metaphorical! That's not exactly how I see myself. I am honest, loyal, and loving... I just hav'nt met anyone that I can really trust! I realize thats probably my issue... but....... Wait a second, this isnt about me anyway! He is probably older than me! and yes he is heartbroken... and his confidence is shot. No, you string somebody along... thats bad. You once pointed that out to me in NO uncertain terms! It takes wisdom and insight to know when you need to walk away. When your just getting strung along. He didnt have it.... she took advantage.
jcster Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Ok...I had a big argument planned, but then I read the thread from the start of this whole mess: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126018/ She didn't jerk him around - he messed up. He came on too strong, got snippy with her, and now she doesn't want to go out with him. drama over.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Ok...I had a big argument planned, but then I read the thread from the start of this whole mess: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126018/ She didn't jerk him around - he messed up. He came on too strong, got snippy with her, and now she doesn't want to go out with him. drama over. Ok, I admit I didnt do my research. Thanks for pointing that out . I'm not sure he came on too strong... but he definitley led himself along. Good news is I am reasonably certain he couldnt get her to like him anyway. Just a big waste of his time! Oh and Im not giving you a pass on calling me Crusty and Old!
jcster Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Oh and Im not giving you a pass on calling me Crusty and Old! Sorry, about that I was just trying to make a point. You're not crusty. ahem.
Lizzie60 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 The typical 'sore loser doormat' who wants revenge... LOL How pathetic... You know what... I hope that you get her to like you again.. give you a lot of attention... then you'll get hooked ... i dont necessarily plan on liking her again and she will dump you again... You'll get played by your own game... LOL she knew she could always get me whenever she wanted to but i want her to know that im not that easy. This is too funny.. do you think that she's that stupid... why would she wants you now if she didn't want you before... but i want her to know that im not that easy. IMO...you're still too weak and too 'easy' because you didn't move on... instead you want revenge... that doesn't say that you're a strong and independant guy... it says that you are emotionally dependant. this is also part of my coping. i demand respect and i think its about time that i stood up for myself. No.. people that are independant, move on... they don't play games to get back at their ex... this is a very immature way to cope. In the end, you'll get hurt...not her.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Sorry, about that I was just trying to make a point. You're not crusty. ahem. OMG... tears of laughter... Point made! LOL... Old then huh? Well, at least we have that in common. If you ever need to borrow a walker... or perhaps life alert! ... feel free to PM me!
jcster Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! Where's the beef?
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