coffee_addict Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 argh omg. ok story backup, basically my friend set me up with this guy at the end of april. i was away at uni, so she set us up when i was home for easter hols. a few days after we started going out i went back to uni, and we continued to go out for a month and a half, an he came to visit me at uni in that time. the day after i got home for the summer hols, i broke up with him, as i had insecurities and 'something didnt feel right. we broke up for nearly 2 months, but still continued to see each other, stay close, etc etc, without the official 'gf/bf' title. so, about a month ago, we started going back out again, and its great my worries are this : im very insecure about myself, im quite overweight and boy do i know about it. my boyfriend tells me im sexy and im hot, but i wont believe him. no-one has ever liked me like that before and im worried about if hes getting annoyed at me never just accepting it. i miss him so much when im not with him, as he got a job over the summer and i cudnt find one (probably through pickyness of where i wanted to work) and think that hes always too busy and never thinks of me, whereas i just sit thinking about him and how much i miss him, etc etc. im scared hes going off me. i keep thinking hes being different with me, or something is wrong, but he says there isnt, and i really dont think hes done anything to iniate these feelings, as he says he wants to be with me all the time, and doesnt want to go to work because hed rather come and see me, and all this stuff. im just worried that first time round, he was really into me, and i wasnt so into him, and that now its switched and im all and hes just not. my best friend that i was in love with treated me badly, and there was hidden reasons behind all his actions, like wanting to meet me in town but only because he had nothing else to do and just wanted to fill time. i dont know whether all this insecurity now is just leading on from what life was like when all that stuff was happening with my best mate, and im thinking the same is happening now with my boyfriend, when it isnt really (i hope). all hes done is want to be with me, and like....the day before yesterday he sed he liked me lots and lots and lots (i dont think either of us want to say 'love' yet lol...we're 18/19 but this is both our first proper relationship and we're not quite sure what we're doing lol) but then we were speaking on the fone today just before he started work and i dunno he just sounded.....a bit off, he said he was feeling sick but i dunno am i just reading too much into things? this might make no sense, but im really and some advice or anything would be appreciated :(
Kamille Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 This is likely all new for you and even experienced daters suffer from insecurity. Letting someone into our heart is hard because they give us so much. I think the only thing that worries me about your post is that you sound like your relationship is on the verge of becoming fusional. This could be because of your self-esteem issues. But your boyfriend, who does sound crazy about you, cannot resolve those for you. I would suggest you take some of your attention away from your relationship and onto other activities - hobbies that will make you feel better about yourself, help you with your self-confidence and make you accept that your boyfriend does like you a lot a lot a lot.
Author coffee_addict Posted August 26, 2007 Author Posted August 26, 2007 Thanks Kamille for your reply What do you mean by fusional lol? I think you are right in your post, as he does care a lot a lot a lot about me lol, and we even said we loved each other for the first time last night (although it came from skirting around the subject and basically calling it 'the L word' for about half an hour till we finally said 'Love' as we both admit we're crazily shy! Im moving back to uni soon, so i think we are trying to spend as much time with each other as possible before i go, even tho he will come down and i will come back up to visit each other. if i have nothing to do i tend to sit and think about him and how much i miss him lol, so your suggestion about hobbies is a good one! thanks for your advice and opinion its much appreciated
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