Touche Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 Great post, Curm. While you're still alive and breathing, there's always a chance for love. My dad died when my mother was 25. She was left widowed with 2 small children. She was alone for 10 years. She met my stepdad when she was 35. They were together almost 30 years until he died a few years ago. She's 68 now. She hasn't given up on love. She wants to spend the rest of her days with another love. And I have no doubt she'll find him one of these days. She hasn't given up yet and nor should you, TP. She's out there.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I know EXACTLY where you're coming from, TP. Oh Lord....do I know. ~T~ i do too, tp. it doesn't help you get out of your situation, but at least know that you are without a doubt NOT the only person who knows that feeling.
KittenMoon Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 My dad died when my mother was 25. She was left widowed with 2 small children. She was alone for 10 years. She met my stepdad when she was 35. They were together almost 30 years until he died a few years ago. She's 68 now. She hasn't given up on love. She wants to spend the rest of her days with another love. And I have no doubt she'll find him one of these days. She hasn't given up yet and nor should you, TP. She's out there. Awwwwwwwwww. :love: It's always nice to hear those stories, even though they are sad too. I try to think of my aunt and uncle when I feel down. He lost his first wife to cancer. I guess he was in his early 40s. He met my aunt (mom's sis) and they married and have two daughters, both about college age now. And my aunt and uncle are obviously still in love when you see them, snuggling affectionately, etc (which is both and at the same time, being family, haha) Impatience does people the worst, though.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 TP, Loneliness is difficult to live with, for everyone. Some people just find it more difficult to adapt to. If you're the sort who cannot handle loneliness, none of the suggestions to "stay happy by yourself" and staying strong, will work for you. You're just not wired that way. In fact, extreme loneliness will lead to desperation - and I've seen people make big mistakes relationship-wise, when they're at their loneliest. I would suggest you try and meet more new people, go on a few dates. There are a lot of options out there for dating. I'm afraid I can't suggest many options, mainly because I'm not a "dating" person myself. From the experiences I've had, I now have a very specific list of criteria that needs to be met before I start the slow, complex process of getting into a relationship. But I'm fine with that - and being by myself (lonely) doesn't bother me so much now. For you, TP, I'd suggest that you start with the dating scene. You don't want to get trapped in the loneliness-depression-desperation cycle. Sure, dating is not guaranteed to work out (I remember your last experience with the travel agent). But it's better than being where you are right now. Lastly, don't give up on yourself. You're worth more than the sum of your relationships.
CaliGuy Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 It's been 14 months since this all began for me..... the breakup, the depression, the "finding the new me", the friendships I've made..... so much has happened, I'd need to track down all my old posts here to remember it all..... Sadly, right now, I'm remembering one key thing... I'm still very much suffering from depression over everything, and it really doesn't want to go away. I don't know what it is.... the lack of any real dates in the last couple of months..... the stress (mainly self-induced) at work, my "living arrangments" changing on a daily basis (a whole other topic for another time), I really don't know what the hell it is, anymore. I'm lonely. I know, considering everything I post on here that it sounds odd coming from me, but I really am. Maybe I'm being selfish. There are people who would do anything to have the kind of friends I have, but there's only so much friends can do for you. I know when I debate politics on here, I come across as a fairly hard-core conservative, but deep down, my heart beats like everyone else's. Maybe part of my conservative nature comes not from dismissing the plight of others, but wanting to mask my own. If I were to describe myself emotionally at this stage of the game... I'd describe myself as lonely, sometimes emotionally withdrawn, but mainly.... lost. I feel like I've done everything I can to fight it. I've become more social... I've adopted new hobbies (to an extent)... I've even started working out again. I'm doing all the "right things" to work through this, but even now, at 1:15am, as I sit here at my computer in my very depressing bedroom... I just feel like I'm falling apart inside all over again. I'm just really, really lost right now. My job is going pretty well, despite some personal grudges I have at work, but things are improving.....my mother's health seems to be ok still, and I'm helping her get ready to finally move out again (though the destination seems to change almost daily with her).....I go out with friends at least once a week..... But still.... I'm so miserable. I guess on LS, it's easy to hide these things, but I've spent most of the last 2 hours crying at my computer desk for no better reason than being lonely. Hell, I've been crying while on AIM with my best friend, and she doesn't even know I feel like banging my head in the wall as we chat. Ok, well now she probably does. lol But seriously, I guess I was raised in a household with "too much love", because despite the fact that things really aren't going that bad for me, I am lonely and feel completely empty inside. They say love is "what makes the world go 'round", and in my world, that's pretty much how it is. I don't want to just grab the next woman I meet and marry her, but I want to experience that "spark" again. A spark I've only felt twice in my life, and maybe a 3rd time if you count my "near miss" 3 months ago. I guess it's just been a long year for me, and the toughest months are yet to come. I have an anniversary to "dwell on" in just a few weeks, something I'd love to just "shake" from my head, but something that will live with me for the rest of my life. And of course, I have the holidays coming up, which as anyone coping with depression knows, is the *worst* time of year. This year, I wont even have my beloved Ren to snuggle with at night waiting for Santa. Yes, I know I'm Jewish. It just feels like things were starting to come together in my life, but now, little by little, my perceived happiness, my emotional strength, and my will to fight is just being drained a bit more every day. Maybe I'm just losing my mind. Maybe I'm just lonely. Or maybe, I'm just fu**ed up in the head, but even my former therapist didn't think that. If I can make it through the rest of the year without a nervous breakdown, I'll consider myself lucky. Until then, I'll put on my happy face, dish out some crude di*k jokes, and be the "me" everyone expects to see on a daily basis at work, at play, and even here. After all, even if I'm letting myself down, why should I do that to others, right? -tp just.... lost. Honestly, TP, too much time on LS and not enough time getting out, hanging with friends, etc. Do you go to the gym at all? Exercise releases endorphins which has been medically proven to help stave off depression. Exercise when you're depressed. You'll look and FEEL better.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted August 27, 2007 Author Posted August 27, 2007 Honestly, TP, too much time on LS and not enough time getting out, hanging with friends, etc. Do you go to the gym at all? Exercise releases endorphins which has been medically proven to help stave off depression. Exercise when you're depressed. You'll look and FEEL better. I think I covered that in my OP?!? I go out at least one night a week with friends (I have a job where I work a lot of nights), and I've been going back to the gym... -tp insert something here
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