uniqueone Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 What do you think of a guy who says: "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? Would get involved with him at all?
Cobra_X30 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 What do you think of a guy who says: "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? Would get involved with him at all? Depends on how You handle monogamy!
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 1. What do you think of a guy who says: "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? 2. Would get involved with him at all? 1. I think "at least he's honest about it". 2. Only if I was looking for a no strings attached f*ck buddy.
huh Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 I would appreciate the honesty, but I don't know if I could handle a relationship with someone who wasn't monagamous. Is there more context? Is he thinking of trying it because he cares about the person he's saying it to?
Lizzie60 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 on you really. "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? Would get involved with him at all? At least, he's straight-forward. I am involved with just men that are not monogamous... so I don't care... I would not get involved if I want a monogamous relationship... I wouldn't even go there. It's that simple. I don't believe in monogamy on a long-term basis... I think it's just not realistic... but that's just me. If you just want to have fun...enjoy it.. but protect yourself...don't fall for a guy like that or you'll be miserable if you DO believe in monogamy... period.
birdie Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 What do you think of a guy who says: "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? Would get involved with him at all? no. that's his way of telling you that he will hurt you eventually
directx Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 For me personally, if I am REALLY into a girl, I can be monogamous easily. (in fact, I never cheated even when miserable. Just don't have it in me I guess) So i wouldn't even entertain changing this guy, so you better be prepared.
Author uniqueone Posted August 25, 2007 Author Posted August 25, 2007 This is what the last guy said....it was after we'd been e-mailing a bit. Then I pulled away and that's when he started telling me how I was different...how for me he could probably give up his current lifestyle...how after we meet, if we clicked we'd become exclusive..blah, blah, blah... And once I really fell for him, it turns out none of that was true. And when I reminded him of the things he'd said to me, his answer was "things change". And also of course he mentioned how he'd told me from the start what he was like.
Arizona100 Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Not if you are hoping to make him change no. Either he's honest and really don't want monogamy or he's not honest and it's just a way to get you in his bed. Either way, I wouldn't stay because I know that *I* couldn't handle it.
OpenBook Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 He's testing you. Don't take him too seriously. In fact, don't show that it bothers you AT ALL. He's rattling your cage to see what you'll do. Stay cool as a cucumber - and DON'T make him a priority in your life. When a man really loves you, monogamy isn't a problem for him - regardless of what he says in the beginning.
directx Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 That's one hell of a test. If its just a test, its a poor one. I am beyond giving tests. screw that
halfarock Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 And also of course he mentioned how he'd told me from the start what he was like. Kind of like a woman saying that she is a bitch, and then when she turns out to be one saying that I can’t complain because she warned me.
halfarock Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 When a man really loves you, monogamy isn't a problem for him - regardless of what he says in the beginning. I absolutely do not believe in monogamy. Yet, ever so often I’ll get so caught up with a particular woman that I might as well be monogamous.
popey Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Cobra's response is funny, but dead on. Look- I don't want to give a man a medal just for being honest... your supposed to be honest. But I would still point out that he did the decent thing, rather than care not about misleading you. That being said, if you KNOW monogamy is what your striving for, its a risky endeavour to invest in, imo.
Author uniqueone Posted August 26, 2007 Author Posted August 26, 2007 Cobra's response is funny, but dead on. Look- I don't want to give a man a medal just for being honest... your supposed to be honest. But I would still point out that he did the decent thing, rather than care not about misleading you. That being said, if you KNOW monogamy is what your striving for, its a risky endeavour to invest in, imo. I disagree...he WAS misleading. He went on for quite awhile saying how, unlike the others, *I* was someone he could give up the others for. Stuff like that.
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 What do you think of a guy who says: "I don't know if I can handle monogamy." ? Would get involved with him at all? No I wouldn't. Even if I loved him and thought he was the one, I would walk away. Deal breaker!!
jcster Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 There's a big difference between saying "I don't want to be monogamous" and "I can't handle monogamy." And the devil is definitely in the details. What happens if you were to decide you wanted a committed, monogamous relationship? Do you want someone that's going to bolt and run at the first sign of commitment, because, that's what you have here.
Author uniqueone Posted August 26, 2007 Author Posted August 26, 2007 There's a big difference between saying "I don't want to be monogamous" and "I can't handle monogamy." And the devil is definitely in the details. What happens if you were to decide you wanted a committed, monogamous relationship? Do you want someone that's going to bolt and run at the first sign of commitment, because, that's what you have here. That reminds me of something he said. When he was still trying to convince me to meet him, I'd bring up that comment he made about monogamy to him and he made it a point to clarify it to me. He said that he never said that......he said he told me that he DIDN'T KNOW if he could handle monogamy..... Oh he was so clever with words.......
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