fabulousgal Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 ow. no matter what it hurts. i met a great person, we did a lot of very cool stuff together. unfortunatley he was away (we are talking another continent with no phone) and was going to remain that way for some months more. a circumstance came up, that made me want to cut things off. we made up and he admitted he only wanted to date me. i felt the same instead of just telling eachother how much we liked one another and keeping it cool till he came home, we started trying to see one another. now i do have baggage from my old relationship, but i think the stress of not being able to call and constantly waiting wore down on me. instead of being happy to hear from him i would start complaining about him not being around enough. with a short time left before he gets back he had enough of me. i tried to tell him i was sorry and i do think it was really me trying to protect myself from being hurt again. i got so wrapped up in me, i didn't realize i did have someone cool trying until we could be closer in distance. so i've apologized, i also agreed we shouldn't date for now. i do feel like i pushed him away though emotionally. sometimes i think he is being selfish for not understanding it was hard on me too and forgiving me, and he should not give everything up when he returns. i'm sad. i feel like i blew something that might have been great. but i also feel like i deserve a second chance because the circumstances were difficult to begin with. we are going to see eachother again, but like i said i felt he was very closed.
sao2 Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I am there with you Fab, just hang in there and when you see him try and be completely positive. For my reunion I plan to be completely positive and simply will try and have fun when we see each other. I guess that's the only advice I can give, Count yourself lucky that you are getting that second chance, alot of people don't get that.
tinke Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 don't be so hard on yourself for expressing your true feelings. a woman is not a mechanical being, but rather takes in her intuition, emotions, physical needs. these particularly increase during separation, one relies on her true feelings sometimes to a fault (by over-analyzing). i do believe men think more in a black/white mode..it is or it isn't. point blank! you cannot blame yourself for feeling what you did, and so what..you expressed it. now, just try to enjoy the times together, live in the present when you see him. i know only too well the bittersweet emotions of reuniting only to know there will be the parting again in LDR. but...don't upset yourself with re-living your actions. you said what you did at the time for a reason, don't deny your feelings. you can try explaining your thoughts (lightly) when you meet with him...just enjoy his company!
Author fabulousgal Posted August 30, 2007 Author Posted August 30, 2007 i still feel like crap. i know i wasnt being unreasonable in all of the bickering. i think we just had different expectation of being exclusive while he was gone.... his were probably i will talk to her when i can mine were... every once in awhile send me some reassurance via phone, email etc. that the hardship of waiting is worth it. emails tended to not be affectionate, phone never really happened i just think if someone is waiting on you to get back from seeing the world, and its what you want to you would realize that those things are needed to keep it going. even though we hadn't dated very long i do however believe i should have let some of it go. i should have treasured that time we talked rather than promote negativity. i just feel as if it was wearing down on me. im not a nagging person. never have been. our last fight was completely my fault. i was actually planning on going to meet him for a few days overseas. i was angry he hadn't figured the plans out yet, so i snapped at him. i apologized over and over. but he called it off. i got broken up with because i missed someone, and was anxious to see them. wtf. i just wish i could have let some of the stuff go. he will be back soon, it really sucks. im nervous about seeing him. im nervous it may not happen now. im nervous bc i want things to go well, and i don't want him to feel like i am the enemy. just the girl he was so excited to be around and with, who made him say, "I'm just happy" when I'd ask why he was smiling at me.
JCD Posted August 31, 2007 Posted August 31, 2007 He wasn't as much into you as you were into him. His fault. If I was him and really liked you, I would make the effort of contacting you because I wanted to not because you wanted me to. He just didn't wanted to for whatever reason.
birdie Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 that might be a bit harsh JCD. the guy probably has different needs and he doesn't want as much contact. well fabulousgal, no person should make you feel like that. I don't understand why people feel they HAVE TO make a relationship work - especially a long term one. clearly you need somebody around you that you can have a committed relationship with. what's wrong with that? why would you want to be with somebody who is distant?
birdie Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 that might be a bit harsh JCD. the guy probably has different needs and he doesn't want as much contact. well fabulousgal, no person should make you feel like that. I don't understand why people feel they HAVE TO make a relationship work - especially a long term one. clearly you need somebody around you that you can have a committed relationship with. what's wrong with that? why would you want to be with somebody who is distant? sorry, meant 'long distance' one
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