shadowplay Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I posted this in another thread, but it was a kind of convoluted entry so I'm reposting it here. I'm concerned that the guy I've been seeing for two months isn't over his ex. I can't tell if I'm just being paranoid, though. He's only had one other girlfriend, this was a year ago in NY. They dated for 6 months. When I asked him why their relationship ended he said something vague that it was because he moved back to Boston and she stayed there in NY. But he's moving back to NY now! So I don't get it... He seems to mention her occasionally too. It's always in passing, though, like 'my ex's friend went to blah blah' or 'my ex had this job that...' He's never said anything complimentary or negative about her, or told me how he feels about her. The one thing he did say is that our relationship seems so 'naturally evolving', while he met his ex on craiglist and 'how awkward is that.' I found his myspace once when I googled his name (he doesn't know I've been there) and she's in his top four friends. (Interestingly, he's not in hers). Also, and I know this is kind of silly, but the way she looks worries me. Physically she's an entirely different type from me. I'm slim, blonde and tall. A bit icy and shy looking. She's short, curvy, dark haired and sensual looking. Her breasts are gigantic. It's just been my experience in the past that most guys favor her physical type. You know the whole earthy, sexual, free-spirited thing. He said once that she was really loud during sex, and I can totally picture it. She looks kind of self-absorbed and dramatic. I'm very reserved, and I can just imagine him longing for her. I've been passed up for girls like this in the past. This is really killing me. Should I ask him how he feels about her or more details on why their relationship ended? I'm especially concerned because he's moving back to NY now for school.
lino Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 Should I ask him how he feels about her or more details on why their relationship ended? I'm especially concerned because he's moving back to NY now for school. I wouldn't ask those questions, I say that because I wouldn't want a girlfriend of mine asking me that. I think all you can really do is try not to stress about it alot. If he's really into you it won't be a problem. Good luck
Author shadowplay Posted August 25, 2007 Author Posted August 25, 2007 Aw, too late...I already asked. But it wasn't really my fault. We were lying in bed quietly and he asked me what I was thinking and that's what I happened to be thinking about so I said "well, there's something I've been worrying a bit about..." He said that he's not at all into his ex and she was really annoying...But damnit, I really regret asking now. Thanks for the advice anyway. I'm terrible at this stuff.
lino Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 I'm terrible at this stuff. Possibly with others, yes, but in my opinion you aren't. I'd love a girl so honest, upfront & genuine as you seem to be. I don't think it was such a great idea to ask that but like you said, you already have so I hope it works out well for you
Kamille Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 I think you did the right thing by asking him. And I like answer. Now sit back and enjoy the feeling of knowing you were able to raise one of your concerns and he handled it super well. pat him on the back for me.
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