soulseeker Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 When people say things they just should not say. For instance, this guy I was seeing kept telling me how happy I made him and how awesome I was. We get into this discussion sbout sex. I find out that he is a virgin and waiting for marriage. Not what I wanted to hear, but fine. Then he proceeds to tell me that he has a picture of "the one" and that I am not it. WTF. Why tell someone they make you happy etc. if you already know they are not the one? Gah! Do I have a right to be pissed here?
directx Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 You have every right. What the hell? I hope you dumped that loser. I'm pissed, and it didn't even happen to me.
Author soulseeker Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Oh yeah, that was the end of it. I just feel so...I dont know... I am just so pissed. I dont know how those two concepts reconcile. You make me happy/you are not the one. Just dont tell me I make you happy gdamnit. Or, how about, I dont know if you are the one yet, I could accept that, that makes sense. But I know you are not the one? WTF are you doing here??? <sigh>
IpAncA Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 He shouldn't have led you on to believe whatever it was you believed. I'd be disappointed at him for that and would like you did end it.
jcster Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Wow, that guy is in for a world of pain. Yeah, it's pretty darn insulting, but just think for a moment of how his life is going to work out with that mindset - and you can almost feel sorry for him.
Saxis Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I think he means that the guy has his mind made up about "the one", which he probably thinks is absolutely perfect, and it will work out exactly the way he wants, until one day Reality is going to smack him across the face with a cast iron skillet. He's not gonna have a clue until that day, and no one can tell him otherwise... Rather sad, really.
Author soulseeker Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 You know, that actually makes me feel better. In my petty and hurt state of mind, it really does.
oppath Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Can you illuminate more? Was this part of a breakup or I don't want a relationship conversation? I can totally see myself telling a woman "I don't think you are the one" ok, no, strike that. I would say "I don't feel we are the right people for each other, so while I value you and care about you and treasure the time we had together, I need to make a change in our relationship. It wouldn't be fair to string you along with my feelings having changed; I want you to heal so you can find the relationship you deserve because I can't give it to you." What circumstances led to him saying these things? Was he still under the impression that he could date you? Did you bring of exclusivity? It's possible he was doing the best he could do, though a little immature about it.
Author soulseeker Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 It was a "lets figure out where this sex thing is going" conversation gone bad. Thing is, just prior to him telling me I wasnt the one, he told me how happy I make him, AND, he actually said it again after he said he I wasnt the one. Did I mention religion here? Ok, bc I should. I knew he is Lutheran and he knew I am not religious. I asked him point blank if this would be a problem...before he left town. He said absolutely not. Fast forward to last night. We were making out quite heavily when he said I want to ravage you, but I wont. I said that we cannot keep doing this. He said I know. I said, I dont want us to do anything we are not ready for, he agreed and said that he did want to wait. At that point, I said half-jokingly, but we'll get there sometime, right? He said, I dont know. He said that he felt he had disappointed God in every way other than this, retaining his virginity for marriage. Come on now! we were both quite naked when he said this. He KNEW I am not religious and that I am not a virgin. Thats when it lead to him saying that he wasnt crazy about me yet, etc. I just feel like I tried to ensure there wasnt a religion issue, when it turns out, there was. Now, I dont know if in his eyes that is why I am not the one, but I find it deceitful of him to tell me how much I made him happy and how good it was to be with me, in the same evening that he told me he knew I wasnt the "one"
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