alexa137 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 ok so my ex left few weeks ago at first acted depressed etc the whole nine yards but we were still talking and basically having sex well 2 days ago he instant messaged me saying i think we should walk away, move on-so i was devastated and now that i have so much time i have been online reading ebooks about saving a break up and did the no contact thing and now all he does is call and call and instant message me all day and night asking me to talk to him etc...for me i am doing good--but one of his comments was i guess you and your daughter are doing good now that i am gone,,etc... so how long should i have this go on? bcause last night he tried calling me 13 times at 1am! i didnt answer--he left messages-called cell phone also and sent many instant messages--ive heard that doing the no contact thing makes them wonder etc..but how long actually?
Author alexa137 Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 i cant believe no responses yet - i dont know what to do so far so good but its getting tempting-all night and day he keeps asking me to talk to him through the internet--saying if your not gonna talk tell me an i will never try to talk to you again, and today is the last day i try to talk to you, and is this the way its gonna be?and the last one "i will try later if you dont talk then i am not going to keep trying and i hope he is taking care of you"-- now i think hes acting crazy--he knows damn well that i am not over him and wouldnt go on to the next guy that fast i am telling you all that this is a plus for me! i have never been able to do the no contact thing before! well i ve never really been in this situation that i have been for over a year either my first love etc.....but hes the one who said leave him alone the other day and also said to walk away, move on-i dont get it! i dont know how much longer i can go! i am thinking that this might make him realize what a good woman he had and how he had it made with me--i know he misses me etc..and its not that easy to split up after 1 1/2 years or being together EVERYDAY!
relearning2breath Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 my ex and I broke up 3 months ago. I tried to initiate NC about 1 month after we broke up he flipped out similiarly to your ex. He kept begging me to talk to him. Then he said he would never talk to me again if I didnt talk to him ect. A lot of similarities. And do you know what happened to me? I caved and I talked to him, I gave him his "comfort" all the while sending me further into an emotional mess. Then when he was ready to accept the break up he discarded my friendship like it was nothing. I dont know youre whole story and I dont know if your ex is anything like mine. But sometimes you just dont want to let go until your ready. I think you are his safety blanket, his security. If you're in his life he can do what he wants but then still have you there 'just in case'. Do whats best for you. Ask yourself, will talking to him help me heal? Dont talk to him just because you're feeling pressured, guilty, or lonely. I promise all you will feel is worse after you're done. Good Luck
Author alexa137 Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 yeah i figured and it sucks! i dont know if you want to know my whole story!?!? lol--i have been posting on here since march when all the chaos started! so i hve over 50 posts on like 3 or 4 diffrent forums on here if you are bored and interested in my crazy story--i could write a book!
Author alexa137 Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 ok i just had an emotional breakdown! i couldnt take my ex keep instant messaging all day and night-last night at 1am he was asking me if i was hiding etc logging on and off-so this morning when he logged on i said to the point - "i'm not hiding u said leave u alone, move on, out of sight out of mind a nd that I think my life might be happier without him and i just wanted to experience that for awhile" well he said he did want to see me and asking me if i have been seeing someone else, i didnt answer, let him keep wondering--trying to do the opposite of what i did when he first left-the begging crying desperation etc...then hes telling me he looks at my pics and misses me so i just say ttyl and log off oh last night he said that "love is in me but this can not go on anymore" well i give myself a pat on the back for going 2 days with no contact and being straightforward which is a plus for me! believe me! but i just broke down crying and had to breathe deeply! ok so this is not getting any easier!
birdie Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 it will get easier. you did 2 days, next week you'll do the whole week and once it's been a long enough period, you won't look back. this is too much drama for anyone
magda Posted August 28, 2007 Posted August 28, 2007 If at all possible, log off and stay logged off from IM for a week or 2. Reading every message isn't good for you. If you want to move on, stop giving him access to you over IM. Right now what you are doing is not moving on and doing NC, it's just giving him a little hell and manipulating the situation so you feel better about him calling things off. You won't feel as rejected and powerless but you won't feel good about it, either. He's going to get sick of being ignored or the innuendo of unanswered questions and will probably stop trying. Because you haven't actually moved on you've just been acting that way, it's going to hurt all over again.
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