uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I got back on the personals a few days ago and have gotten a bunch of messages. A few looked to be promising. I had ruled out the ones who were too young...the ones too old.....the ones I wasn't attracted to....the one's that just send one line like: "hey, your pretty" (and yeah, they spell it that way too). So there were just a few that weren't too bad...they were educated professionals, attractive, fit..... Here's what they turned out to be after talking or emailing them: A well-to-do man (outside my state) who, along with his daughters is auditioning for a mate. Lucky me...I've been chosen as a contestant. Seems they fly to meet the person or they fly the person to meet them. I keep thinking of the Von Trappe family. Maybe I'll use it as a free vacation. I hope they don't make me sing. Then there's the therapist (5 hours away). I think he already has us married. He told me about how many jobs in my field they have in his city and how he has a house so I wouldn't have to work right away while I search for one. I think he's already picked out a china pattern. Then again, I HAD planned on going to visit his city this summer and my plans fell through, so maybe...... Then there's the guy who was an auditor for the Feds and quit it to become a musician. While he plays some fairly big venues at times, he still quit a cushy job with great benefits. He had one of those voices though that sounds like he's got peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth. On the phone, he told me he liked my voice. I almost said "I don't really care for yours." Good think I just thought it instead. There was another who wrote me tons of messages and at first I wrote back. But then I saw on his ad how he liked the whole camping and fishing thing.....not my cup of tea....but wait, it gets worse.....he spelled "petals" on his ad "peddles"....it still gets worse.....he mentioned on his ad how last Val-Day, he kissed his then girlfriend for 15 hours and 36 mins just to be on this one tv show...then said it was really just to spend time with her....because he's such a romantic..... Aw....... (excuse me while I go puke) Sorry, but I couldn't take a guy like that. Anyway, my point is, this has me missing "him" even more now. The conversation just isn't like it was with him. I think I'm feeling worse now.
Citizen Erased Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 A well-to-do man (outside my state) who, along with his daughters is auditioning for a mate. Lucky me...I've been chosen as a contestant. Seems they fly to meet the person or they fly the person to meet them. I keep thinking of the Von Trappe family. Maybe I'll use it as a free vacation. I hope they don't make me sing. So sorry you are missing "him" but damn that was funny
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 So sorry you are missing "him" but damn that was funny I actually wrote the guy and told him that I don't look a thing like Julie Andrews and that I can't carry a tune so I hope they aren't singing children.....lol.
directx Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Those guys sound really strange... (and coming from me, that's saying something). Maybe you should try a different method of meeting people? Meeting people is tough though.
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Those guys sound really strange... (and coming from me, that's saying something). Maybe you should try a different method of meeting people? Meeting people is tough though. I don't have any other ways to meet people. Oh and those were the best of the bunch too....all very educated professionals.... maybe by my age there are only rejects left or something.
directx Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I don't have any other ways to meet people. Oh and those were the best of the bunch too....all very educated professionals.... maybe by my age there are only rejects left or something. What's your community like? In my area, we have recreation centers where they have classes of all types (painting, swimming, yoga, sewing, cooking). Maybe you could find something like this that you enjoy and also increase your chances of meeting new people with similar interests? They even have casino trips and shopping trips. I think its a good way to be more social and with people that have something in common. (On a different note, I'd love to do that speed dating thing just for the challenge. I'm pretty sure I could stand out among the broads and be different.)
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Yeah, the therapist said that maybe I can visit for a weekend and we can work on our relationship. WTF? I also asked him if he'd met many people through that system. He said he'd met a few and I asked what happened there. He said they just wanted to casually date. I said that I like to start out casually dating. He said that if you meet someone and click and it's good, then why not have more good? He mentioned how he goes to Florida in the Winter usually and how WE could go there this winter. I started to feel......er....trapped......panicky......smothered...... The musician.....his internet businesses seem to "run themselves" he said. Ok...so then what does he actually do? He referred to his music events as "gigs". For some reason, I can't picture myself saying "I'm going to one of my BF's gigs." Especially when he's almost 50 years old......
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 What's your community like? In my area, we have recreation centers where they have classes of all types (painting, swimming, yoga, sewing, cooking). Maybe you could find something like this that you enjoy and also increase your chances of meeting new people with similar interests? They even have casino trips and shopping trips. I think its a good way to be more social and with people that have something in common. (On a different note, I'd love to do that speed dating thing just for the challenge. I'm pretty sure I could stand out among the broads and be different.) I have never heard good things about speed dating but I wish you luck on it. Those classes you mentioned sound like they'd be mainly women, don't you think?
relearning2breath Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Oh unique I completely understand! At the some what urging of my dearest and nearest friends I signed up for match.com My list of "are you really serious?" include: One guy who said I was "sweeeeet" and that I should go swing dancing with him in D.C. Another guy who let me know that I got 5 bonus internet points for knowing the name of a band he had quoted lyrics from. Then there was the 53 year old man who sent me quite a few messages no matter how many times I said I wasnt interested in dating someone older then my father. (im 20) There have however been a few interesting, attractive men close enough to my area and within a reasonable age. One guy in particular seemed promising, we joked, had some banter back and forth, and generally flirted. Then one day, nothing. And I'm left here going, Ok? Guess my radars off. Ok so the point of my rambling is that yea, seems online dating isnt always so great and sometimes when I get a dissapointing message from a potential guy. I think why cant it be as easy as it was when I met the ex? Our connection was such a easy, passionate, and quick event. I guess one of the things we gotta learn to do is not compare that old feeling and how "it was" to potentially new situations. Remember- for whatever reasons your ex and you arent together anymore...so maybe theres something to be said for trying something different from what you had with them.
KittenMoon Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Do you drink? My area seems to be running a lot of Singles Wine tastings around town lately. This seems like a decent place where you could meet some classy guys. Or how about cooking classes? Guys have been getting into cooking quite a bit it seems. It's true a lot of recreational classes are women, but let's be serious- why would you expect to see a bunch of single (straight) men at a quilting class? Just try to imagine what classes a man wouldn't feel "unmanned" in, and maybe you'll find someone there.
Citizen Erased Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Go to a football match. Plenty of single men there. Not too sure they are what you are looking for, but hey you never know.
directx Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Those classes you mentioned sound like they'd be mainly women, don't you think? I don't know. My point is it that its worth a look. Also, sometimes they have 1 or 2 day courses, like how to run an interenet business, better way to do your taxes, home repair tips/workshops. I mean, you can learn something,get out of the house, and maybe meet someone. You can even ask some guy for help even though you don't need it. Just an idea. Do you work? If not,get a part time job or something. I have the feeling you need to be more social. Its easy to try to work everthing behind a PC, but I dont think its always practical.
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Do you drink? My area seems to be running a lot of Singles Wine tastings around town lately. This seems like a decent place where you could meet some classy guys. Or how about cooking classes? Guys have been getting into cooking quite a bit it seems. It's true a lot of recreational classes are women, but let's be serious- why would you expect to see a bunch of single (straight) men at a quilting class? Just try to imagine what classes a man wouldn't feel "unmanned" in, and maybe you'll find someone there. Not much of a drinker. We do have a lot of heavy drinkers here though. Lots. The only men I've seen take cooking classes here were gay.
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Go to a football match. Plenty of single men there. Not too sure they are what you are looking for, but hey you never know. We have professional football games as in going to a stadium...that's the only kind of football we have here. It's not cheap either and actually I hate it. I hate spectator sports. That's one thing I liked about the last guy. He hated them too. And btw, do you really mean "football" or do you actually mean soccer? I'm thinking you're from the UK since you said "match", since we don't call it that here. If you mean soccer, well we don't have any soccer matches...or teams here.
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 I don't know. My point is it that its worth a look. Also, sometimes they have 1 or 2 day courses, like how to run an interenet business, better way to do your taxes, home repair tips/workshops. I mean, you can learn something,get out of the house, and maybe meet someone. You can even ask some guy for help even though you don't need it. Just an idea. Do you work? If not,get a part time job or something. I have the feeling you need to be more social. Its easy to try to work everthing behind a PC, but I dont think its always practical. Oh, of course I work.....and actually I'm out and about quite a bit...working out, etc......and I get plenty of people talking to me....probably more than I want. I think that's why they do...because I act a bit aloof. Sure draws people in alright. Sometimes I'll have guys hit on me but never the guys I'd want to date. Now if I lived in a different part of town, then that might happen.
kirikat Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Move to Italy, like I have. Meeting men here is like shooting fish in a barrel. Every one of them under 40 is gorgeous (the decline after 40 is a bit scary though) --- and they feel like it is rude NOT to hit on you, but they take no for an answer with total grace. Im 45, and I have had 2 good boyfriends, several great dates, and only one severly crushed heart..... (most of them at LEAST 8 years younger than me... ) Seriously, get enrolled in a study abroad program. Come to europe for a while... you are the PERFECT age to do it...) You wont believe the effect on your self esteem, and you are guarenteed to meet a LOT of really stunning boys. And since you will probably be going home again, you dont have to get serious (and if you do, there are worse places to live....). I promise you that you will forget "him" once and for all. I know I forgot my husband of 17 years in no time flat!!!!
Author uniqueone Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 Move to Italy, like I have. Meeting men here is like shooting fish in a barrel. Every one of them under 40 is gorgeous (the decline after 40 is a bit scary though) --- and they feel like it is rude NOT to hit on you, but they take no for an answer with total grace. Im 45, and I have had 2 good boyfriends, several great dates, and only one severly crushed heart..... (most of them at LEAST 8 years younger than me... ) Seriously, get enrolled in a study abroad program. Come to europe for a while... you are the PERFECT age to do it...) You wont believe the effect on your self esteem, and you are guarenteed to meet a LOT of really stunning boys. And since you will probably be going home again, you dont have to get serious (and if you do, there are worse places to live....). I promise you that you will forget "him" once and for all. I know I forgot my husband of 17 years in no time flat!!!! That sounds great but what about a job? How are you supporting yourself? How are you paying for it? I really don't think I'd just be interested in flings and if you're not planning to live there permanently, wouldn't that be what they would be? And don't a lot of those guys over there like to get married and then have a mistress?
AriaIncognito Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 I'm with you on this, Uniqueone. When I browse the internet dating sites, I get more depressed over love lost and feel more depressed over the potential of finding someone else I feel as close as I've felt to the ex, etc. If looking at personals is making you depressed then my advice is not to do it. I do it a few times a week but not for very long, kinda just go through the matches eharmony sends me (as I'm paid through 9/16 or something) and that's about it. I'm moreso now looking to fill my social calendar with friends and hobbies. The man will find me if I'm out of my house. I dont think he'll find me if I'm sitting on my computer.
Author uniqueone Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 I'm with you on this, Uniqueone. When I browse the internet dating sites, I get more depressed over love lost and feel more depressed over the potential of finding someone else I feel as close as I've felt to the ex, etc. If looking at personals is making you depressed then my advice is not to do it. I do it a few times a week but not for very long, kinda just go through the matches eharmony sends me (as I'm paid through 9/16 or something) and that's about it. I'm moreso now looking to fill my social calendar with friends and hobbies. The man will find me if I'm out of my house. I dont think he'll find me if I'm sitting on my computer. I just talked to another one on the phone for quite awhile. It wasn't bad. It wasn't GREAT but it wasn't bad either. Then I went back and looked at his picture (which I hadn't really looked at very good beforehand) and I'm just not attracted to him. I thought to myself...geez, why didn't you really look at it BEFORE talking to him? I'm sort of feeling depressed again now. What are the chances of finding all that I like in one person? And how can I stop comparing it to the last one who excelled in all areas of life (almost)? I have to disagree with you on the part about how a man will find you if you're out of your house vs. sitting in front of your computer. I think it's the opposite. Let me qualify that though. It depends on a number of factors. These include: Your age group...younger people are having get-togethers, going to local hangouts, have a large number of single people without children. Those of us who are uh....older......the people our age aren't at hangouts. Many are carting their kids around all day. They aren't having get-togethers....they're at home washing their socks (yes, this is what you have to look forward to). The single people in this age group have very little time, esp. if they have kids, and it's a lot easier for them to look for a date online while they have the wash going or the kids are in the other room doing their homework, than it is for them to get a sitter and go to local hang-outs. Another factor that can affect it is the area in which you live. Some areas have an abundance of eligible single people. Another factor is how easily you are attracted to others and mesh with others. Some people find a lot of people attractive (physically and personality-wise). Other people don't. Just a few things that I think influence it a bit!
number2 Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 Sorry to hear you are having no success -- but your bitter attitude will most likely haunt your outlook on life. I know from experience.
Toolate Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 You know wal-mart is a really good place to meet people. Thats where im gonna try since i dont do the bar/club scene.
Citizen Erased Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 We have professional football games as in going to a stadium...that's the only kind of football we have here. It's not cheap either and actually I hate it. I hate spectator sports. That's one thing I liked about the last guy. He hated them too. And btw, do you really mean "football" or do you actually mean soccer? I'm thinking you're from the UK since you said "match", since we don't call it that here. If you mean soccer, well we don't have any soccer matches...or teams here. Yes I am from the UK, and I live in Sydney and I think that's what they call them here as well... I don't blame you for not wanting to watch NFL (fortunately we have Rugby Union, Rugby League, AFL and Soccer over here lol)
Citizen Erased Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 You know wal-mart is a really good place to meet people. Thats where im gonna try since i dont do the bar/club scene. candy aisle!
Author uniqueone Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 Sorry to hear you are having no success -- but your bitter attitude will most likely haunt your outlook on life. I know from experience. I don't take seriously those who classify a behavior but don't give any examples to back it up. Care to back up what qualifies as a bitter attitude?
Author uniqueone Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 You know wal-mart is a really good place to meet people. Thats where im gonna try since i dont do the bar/club scene. Oh yeah.....definately the place to be.......
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