ookla_2 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Hey Emotionally, I was wondering about you and how things are going. If you're there, I would love an update.... Ookla
EmotionallyYours Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 Hey Ookla! So good to hear from you! I was thinking about how YOU are doing? Let's see... well I told you I canceled my "thing" last week with EA guy and I backed off a bit. What I forgot about is when you cut off attention to a man completely... they start contacting you?!? He showered me with emails and this is not his preferred means of communication. Anyway, since this guy is single, I have tried to divert my "attentions" toward helping him find someone. This again cooled him off a bit towards me. I am trying to get him to picture a younger, prettier woman who he could get serious with... have a family.... etc... It is so hard though. I think we are both a bit infatuated or at least intrigued by each other. Can't help a little flirting. I am being good though. We are going on vacation for a week, but I will see him the day I get back for an activity we are doing together. I'm bringing the kids this time, so all will be safe. He really likes my kids and they really like him so it will actually be pretty fun. I think that I am turning down the emotionally intensity a bit though through sheer will power. Also, he is really messed up and the more you are around him you see it more. No wonder he is pushing 40 and never married. I think I fall for the ones who i think just "need" me sometimes. Actually, my husband was one of those come to think of it. Wait... I think about 90% of the guys I ever dated were in need of help and in the middle of a difficult situation...lol. I'm just now starting to see this pattern??? I guess I like to be needed. How's it going with you? Do you still want to get out? Are the feeling still really strong? I bet they are if you're posting looking for me. Talk to me... how can I help? PS - Oh, I'll sign on and off periodically tonight. My computer is right next to my H's and I will only be able to check/respond if he's in bed or preoccupied w/ something else...
Author ookla_2 Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 That's good that you guys are getting away by yourselves for a while. Maybe that will help you regroup. Cooling off things with the EA is difficult, but it sounds like you are making progress. Good for you! I'm doing better. I'm really trying to get my mind right, and for the most part I am doing well. Of course, it also helps that things are getting pretty hectic around here with back to school stuff, the kids' sports starting back up, and I am also going back to college. I seem to do better when I am busy, and I haven't had a lot to fill my time with this summer. All in all, I think things are getting back to normal for us. Keep me posted on you. Our situations sound so similar, and it's nice to have someone who understands what you are feeling. Ookla
Author ookla_2 Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 Emotionally, I posted yesterday under Marriage and Life Partnerships. If you have a chance, will you check it out and give me your thoughts? I was just having a moment...needed to get something off my chest, but I would really appreciate your input. Thanks! Ookla
EmotionallyYours Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 Well, I did read it. Wow. You make me feel guilty. My husband never did anything that bad to me. The worst for us is that he was always miserable and a hypochondriac for a few years. He also let a family member of his live with us for about a year and that did NOTHING to help our relationship. I think that is when I pretty much lost it for him. My H did change as well. He is SO much better than he was. He really did work out a lot of his issues. He lost weight, starting exercising, started feeling better about himself. He is more reasonable and doesn't fly off the handle as easy. However, we still really disagree about "raising the kids" issues. I have to reread though. I will post more there later after I have time to go over it again. I have so much to do right now and have to make some progress before I allow myself back on this computer. See my update too (under MidlifeBob) . I'm seeing EA tonight. Not alone though. I just had to see him one more time before vacation. God, I suck. I can't WAIT until we can email. How DO we get that functionality. I actually have such good stories to share. Pretty funny. However, anyone who knows me would KNOW they were my posts by the content....lol. Plus I want to get your opinion on a couple of things that I again can't post publicly. I will have to think about this.
Author ookla_2 Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 Yeah - from what I have read, we have to have a lot of posts to be able to PM...not exactly sure how many, and I tend to lurk more than post, so who knows if I will ever get there...I would love to hear your stories, though. Of course, I have more than I could ever put out here publicly as well, but I guess we all do, don't we?
Author ookla_2 Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 You are such a strong woman - so much stronger than I think you give yourself credit for (why do we do that?). I know how hard it is to let go of the EA, how addictive it can be. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but I'm going to say it anyway....just make sure there is no way the two of you can end up alone this evening. These emotional rushes are so strong, and it's so scary how quickly an EA can turn into a PA, and I know you don't want that, not really anyway, no matter what your heart/body may be telling you when you are around him. Your responses to Bob were so honest, knowing that you could and possibly will be getting some negative feedback. Just know that you are not completely undeserving of the compliments you receive, even though I know you feel that way. After a while, during and immediately after my EA ended, I couldn't even hold my head up. I couldn't allow anyone to compliment me for anything, because I felt like the lowest person on earth. I'm here to tell you that you are not, that you are acknowledging the situation and taking steps to remedy it. With that being said, pleasepleasepleaseplease be careful!!! And keep us posted.
EmotionallyYours Posted August 25, 2007 Posted August 25, 2007 Hi Ookla, Wanted to let you know I won't reply for over a week. Everything was fine last night though. I made sure to invite lots of extra people and it was perfect. We interacted much more as friends instead of hormonal teenagers...lol. I think he is "getting" my intent of keeping it platonic and is accepting it. He has started hinting that way himself now too (talking about how to meet a single woman his age...). It made me feel sad, but relieved too. I think he didn't want to feel rejected so thought that he should be hinting that way himself so their is no hurt feelings. Good luck.. hope you are feeling well. Stay positive! I want an update when I get back on how you're doing!!
EmotionallyYours Posted September 4, 2007 Posted September 4, 2007 Hey Ookla!! Remember I wanted an update? How are you doing? Send me some posts babe! Otherwise we will never get enough to private message each other...lol I am feeling lonely right now though. I don't know how I manage such an emotion after being around so much family today. It can be absolute chaos and I feel lonely in the middle of all of it. I see that you are not logged on though. Oh well... we will catch up later in the week I'm sure! I'm going to bed though... Just wanted to let you know that I survived my vacation and getting back to normal life. Tomorrow will be a nuts day so I probably won't be back on until late tomorrow night again since I will be pretty busy at work tomorrow catching up. Who knows though....
Author ookla_2 Posted September 4, 2007 Author Posted September 4, 2007 Hey! How funny that first thing this morning I was thinking "let me see if Emotionally is back yet"! So, did you have a good time on vacation? I find that my H and I don't do well when we have too much togetherness....we tend to get on each others' nerves. I think we just got so used to doing things on our own (me at home, him at work ALL the time), that we are kind of at a loss when we are together for extended periods of time. But, that's just us... Nothing really to update here. I started school last week (about to head out to class), and am struggling with it. Kind of looking at the long road I have ahead of me, if I want to graduate - and I do, in order to get a better job eventually. Sitting in class all day with those cute little 19-yr olds doesn't do much for the old ego. I like a couple of classes, and don't like a couple of them. We will just have to see how it goes. I know what you mean about feeling lonely. I do too. My poor H is so sweet and tries so hard to make me feel loved. Do you think there are just some people who will never be happy, no matter what their situation? I worry that I'm one of those people. I used to be a fairly happy person...what has happened? Anyway, enough about me....I'm sorry you are feeling that way too. I hope you have a great day - even though it's going to be a busy one - and manage to get all caught up after being gone. I'm heading off to Biology and lab...yuck!!!
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