sweetbutcheeky Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I am trying to figure out if what "they" day about the dos and don't of dating are true. Or the so called "rules". My dad's new wife gave me her book. LOL Gee thanks! It seems like something from a different generation and kinda funny to me, but wonder if there is any truth to it. Don't call the guy. Don't give him gifts. Don't pay on the date. Don't open up too fast. Don't travel, let him come to you. There are many more but you get the idea. Guys are these things true? If a lady wants you to stay and not move on do these things matter? Personally I like a guy to do the calling, cause then I know he is interested and serious. I am guilty with the gifts too. Just little things, for example. Last guy I was dating had a Leo glass that he dropped and broke and I was at dollaramma and found it there so picked it up for him. Same guy, we were moving and had some dishes we were getting rid of and I knew he had only one of everything so I gave him the dishes. So at most spent a dollar, was free and so on, but looking back he didn't seem too appreciate it. Well there are a few reasons why he is history.
yergawd Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Don't call the guy. Don't give him gifts. Don't pay on the date. Don't open up too fast. Don't travel, let him come to you. There are many more but you get the idea. Guys are these things true? If a lady wants you to stay and not move on do these things matter? quote] Not more rules about dating! Men and women are both guilty of stereotyping what one must do to woo the opposite sex and losing site of the big picture. A relationship is just a very close friendship. If I was responsible for all the above 100% of the time I would look at the woman as being a princess and would feel she didn't have the need to reciprocate the stuff mentioned above. I personally would look for someone else more balanced in the relationship.
charliepapa Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 It was from a different era. Don't call the guy. - would not be allowed to Don't give him gifts. - no money Don't pay on the date. - no money Don't open up too fast. - ? Don't travel, let him come to you. - No money/ would not be allowed to
melodymatters Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Wellllllllll, the way I see it is, these are not rules to make somone like you , or make somone like you better. the point of them, is to make SURE, that the person likes you a whole bunch, before you give your heart away. Men who are crazy about you: will call, will initiate the exclusivity talk, will drive to see you, will treat you to dinner, because they are VERY into you. I think it's more of a beginning relationship tool to make sure things are even keel, and that you aren't pursuing somone unhealthy or uninterested. After a REAL Relationship is established, yeah, it's all about being best friends and being cool to yourselves, each other, and the relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I agree with MM. Two of those rules really grate on me. Why not reciprocate, if they spoil you?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 I agree with MM. Two of those rules really grate on me. Why not reciprocate, if they spoil you? I agree, I guess like anything if it's one sided then that's where there is a problem. I also agree with MM, though don't totally agree with some of them. Once another attempt of dating ends it does make you wonder if they are true though. If calling him, giving me him things and so on made him feel like the hunt was over and ran? Though obviously you don't want someone who is just in for the hunt and not anything more.
VIP Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Those are the rules to find someone who really cares about you. Men like to pursue and those are the opportunities for them to show how much they care. If you don't do any of those things and he is still hanging in there, then he must be really interested in you.
directx Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 You know, I hate the rules. Because I am very respectful of someone's time. If I am the one calling all the time, I feel like I am being needy or nuisance and she just doesn't have the heart to get rid of me. I dont need gifts and i'll do the paying. But I hope she opens up a little, otherwise, again, I feel like she's just tolerating me.
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I agree, I guess like anything if it's one sided then that's where there is a problem. I also agree with MM, though don't totally agree with some of them. Once another attempt of dating ends it does make you wonder if they are true though. If calling him, giving me him things and so on made him feel like the hunt was over and ran? Though obviously you don't want someone who is just in for the hunt and not anything more. If you find yourself with a guy who doesn't appreciate you, trade him in for a new model. Life's too short to waste on someone like that.
tanbark813 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 If you find yourself with a guy who doesn't appreciate you, trade him in for a new model. Life's too short to waste on someone like that. That goes both ways. A wise man will not waste his time on a woman who fails to reciprocate effort.
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 That goes both ways. A wise man will not waste his time on a woman who fails to reciprocate effort. I agree. It takes equal effort from both.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 If you find yourself with a guy who doesn't appreciate you, trade him in for a new model. Life's too short to waste on someone like that. Which is also the reason I am single, would rather be single than with someone that doesn't appreciate or respect me. Finding the new model is what I want to do, but keep attracting clones of the guy above (in the great guy disguise of course) But was wondering if any of those "rules" rang true, if I don't follow them fully or to some extent do I teach someone how to treat me? (though they are someone I wouldn't want to be with if I let them or not)
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Which is also the reason I am single, would rather be single than with someone that doesn't appreciate or respect me. Finding the new model is what I want to do, but keep attracting clones of the guy above (in the great guy disguise of course) But was wondering if any of those "rules" rang true, if I don't follow them fully or to some extent do I teach someone how to treat me? (though they are someone I wouldn't want to be with if I let them or not) I really don't like dating rules. If you like a guy who pursues like I do, let them. Beyond that, make your own rules. If you want to buy him little presents to show you care, do it but wait until he does this first, so you don't make him feel bad or a little cornered. If you want to pay for a date, do it but if it's the first date, play it by ear because the last thing you want to do is hurt his pride. If you feel confident enough with his affections, go travel to see him, although I would recommend that the first time should be his effort. At least then, you can rest assured that he's willing to go the extra mile. Above all though, be cautious with your heart until you get to know him better. What most women want are not games, although it's fun to play in a lighthearted way. If it's real feelings, no games. We want a mature man who knows his mind and isn't afraid to express it. I don't know if my comments cover your clone guys. What attributes do you look for in a guy?
Pyro Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 IMO, there should not be any "rules" when it comes to dating. Just be yourself and don't do anything that you wouldn't want your love interest to do back to you.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 I really don't like dating rules. If you like a guy who pursues like I do, let them. Beyond that, make your own rules. If you want to buy him little presents to show you care, do it but wait until he does this first, so you don't make him feel bad or a little cornered. If you want to pay for a date, do it but if it's the first date, play it by ear because the last thing you want to do is hurt his pride. If you feel confident enough with his affections, go travel to see him, although I would recommend that the first time should be his effort. At least then, you can rest assured that he's willing to go the extra mile. Above all though, be cautious with your heart until you get to know him better. What most women want are not games, although it's fun to play in a lighthearted way. If it's real feelings, no games. We want a mature man who knows his mind and isn't afraid to express it. I don't know if my comments cover your clone guys. What attributes do you look for in a guy? In the start the clone guys are good actors, but then the act wears off. What I am looking for isn't that much, I don't think I'm asking for much. As you said I like a guy who pursues me, shows he is interested, funny, lighthearted personality, respectful, honest (no games), affectionate someone who shows his real self and his actions speak louder than his words. Anyone know him? lol
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Note the member who posted above you, although I believe he's taken.
Pyro Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Note the member who posted above you, although I believe he's taken. Aww shucks.
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Aww shucks. Well, you do fit the bill. Got any friends or brothers like you for sweetbutcheeky?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Note the member who posted above you, although I believe he's taken. Aww shucks. If he is taken then that doesn't help me! LOL
Pyro Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Well, you do fit the bill. Got any friends or brothers like you for sweetbutcheeky? I am a one-of-a-kind. My brother just got married. I have one single friend that I can think of who I would recommend, but he is preparing to move to the Vegas area.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 I am a one-of-a-kind. My brother just got married. I have one single friend that I can think of who I would recommend, but he is preparing to move to the Vegas area. Hmm How far is Vegas from Toronto Canada?
Trialbyfire Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 As for me, I wouldn't settle for a copy since Rid's one of my secret LS crushes. :love:
Pyro Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Hmm How far is Vegas from Toronto Canada? Its a 4.5 hour trip via plane from Michigan, so you do the math.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Its a 4.5 hour trip via plane from Michigan, so you do the math. Ya that's not helping me! LOL Anyone know the guy I described a little closer to Toronto Canada?
Pyro Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 As for me, I wouldn't settle for a copy since Rid's one of my secret LS crushes. :love: You just want to marry me so you can become a US citizen. Am I right?
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