budd98 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I had a crazy situation last night that really did me in. Long story short, I made one last effort on sunday to work things out. Things seemed fine, but I still had a hunch something was up. I ended up swinging by her place last night unannounced to see if it were true. I could hear her and a guy giggling in her bed watching a movie with low light. I called with no answer and then knocked with no answer. She kept texting saying she wast there. I said I was going to wait till she came then, even though I knew she was in there with a guy. I sat there waiting and she called the copps on me. The copp knocked on the door and she answered, but said she didnt want to see me. I never have done anything crazy, hit or call names. So I was shocked. I just left and sent a text "I hate u". All I wanted was closeur and for her to say it to my face. Anyways, this morning I sent a text asking for my stuff back and she replied by saying she didnt do anything with anyone. Then 10 minutes later she says "stop blaming me for the things you been doing." Way can a person be so crazy? And what do you think she will do if I cut contact?
Lostgurl Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Well, I've been in this situation.... Except I didn't have a guy in my home with me. My ex/friend stayed out side my home, banging on the door and telling me he knew i was in there. He was angry, and i thought he was going to bust the door down. It got to be pretty creepy. I never called the cops, although i should have because me not calling them allowed him to scare me even further with his other ways of intimidation. Staying outside her house was just plain wrong and creepy. That was a very bad move. I would have called the cops too. I think that you should just leave her alone for a while. You probably gave her a scare, with what you did. If she wants to contact you she will. But if you continue to contact her, you'll just push her farther and farther away.
Curious139 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I respect what Lostgurl says but as a guy I completely understand what you did and why. In fact you showed restraint. However we guys have to realise that waiting outside a house these days when domestic violence is a serious part of police work, just isn't a good idea. It looks bad even if your intentions are honourable. I know you are in a lot of pain at the moment. We have all been there - in fact many of us are still in pain. I think you have to accept that your girlfriend isn't committed to you anymore. It is rough on you that she hasn't been upfront and honest about it. Why did this happen? There probably isn't one simple answer, or even any answer. Sadly people come together and then one of them drifts away. It hurts like hell and is so unfair but it happens to everyone at some stage. If you can talk to her on an honest basis, you may get some peace of mind. However it sounds like this is finished and for your own self-respect you should go no contact with her. You need to heal.
Author budd98 Posted August 22, 2007 Author Posted August 22, 2007 I only wanted her to come out because I wanted closure. I did not want to work it out. She simple kept denying that she was there, but I wanted the evidence cause later she would deny a guy being there. That is why. And I was waiting outside by the curb. I Just wanted the truth and that was it. I told her I was fine with her having a guy and that I meant no harm, I just wanted to not wonder anymore. I was SO calm considering the situation. You have no idea how manipulative this girl is. She will find a reason for everything to be my fault no matter what. Like this morning accusing me of hooking up with girls, which I have'nt done, even after I busted her. Does she think I am that dumb to believe her words of not doing anything? Anyways, I want to get over her in the worst way and what helps me doing that is knowing she is hurting too. How so you think she is feeling? Believe me, I have treated her like an angel and been treated like dirt back. Will me going into no contact drive her crazy and realize it is finally over? She constantly gets on my case about marring her and I don't want her. Its over....I just want to get over it so any help and advice to these questions will help me a great deal.
Curious139 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Keep away from her, no contact. To help you get through that, write down your thoughts about the relationship. How she has manipulated you, been dishonest. Remind yourself of why it has ended every time you think of her or she tries to contact you.
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I don't know your story, I don't know how old you are... From what I read, you must be very young... My advice: just move on... leave her alone. She obviously doesn't want to see you... what the hell are you doing outside her house..waiting for what? Come on... she'll see you as a 'clingy loser'... and creepy... she will eventually get a restraining order if you don't stay out of her life.
Author budd98 Posted August 22, 2007 Author Posted August 22, 2007 I am 27 and she is 25. That was a one time deal and only because I knew I would bust her that night. If I didn't bust her she would deny everything and I would'nt have what I wanted. That was the only way I could get closure. It is a relief, but so hard. What shocks me is this girl still says I hooked up when she did.
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I am 27 and she is 25. That was a one time deal and only because I knew I would bust her that night. If I didn't bust her she would deny everything and I would'nt have what I wanted. That was the only way I could get closure. It is a relief, but so hard. What shocks me is this girl still says I hooked up when she did. You had your closure now you need to move on... leave her alone... it's her loss... Don't let her get to you with her lies... just forget about her. I know it's not that easy but you don't have much of a choice do you...
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