trotter Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 These days I'm just finding out that when you are single, the people around you and society in general place a lot of pressure on you to get into a relationship. I don't know if other people who have been single for a while have experienced it, but it's getting to a point where it is getting really annoying. I have been single for about 15 months now, which is the longest I've gone without being in a proper relationship since I was 18. In those 15 months I did have a casual thing going on with a friend but that was on and off and we just stopped after a while. To be honest these days I am really enjoying being single. In the past it felt like when i would get out of one relationship, I would get into another one soon after. A lot of times it felt as if I was just getting into them just for the sake of being in one, and not for love or companionship. I'm happy at the moment not having to report to someone all day and everyday, being free to do stuff I want on my free time and all the other perks of being single. However i have noticed that the people around me (mostly people in relationships) seem to try and force me to find a girlfriend. I don't understand why they find being single to be such a crime. They always tell me things like "why don't you find a girlfriend!?" or "stop being so lazy!" and other times they talk as if being single makes you some kind of anti-social loner. Other times, friends and co-workers tell me to go out more, or ask to take me out to a bar or club to meet someone. It's either that or they want to hook me up with one of their single friends. Why can't they just accept it when i tell them that I don't want anyone right now? It's at a point now where I have to deal with it all the time. The other thing that pisses me off is how much emphasis they place on sex. They implicitly remind me that they are 'getting some' while i'm not getting any. Good for them. I have had great sex in the past so it's not like they are on to something that I don't know about. Sometimes I wonder if these people are still in high school because they just brag about their partners all day. I don't care they can label me a wanker for now. So that's my rant. Has anyone else felt the same way these days?
Geishawhelk Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I completely, entirely and thoroughly agree with you. Stay just as sweet - and single - as you are - !
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Why does it bother you what people want for you or say to you? If you're happy being single, give them a wink, accompanied by a cheeky grin and tell them so.
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I know what you mean and I find it totally ridiculous to make such assumptions. They implicitly remind me that they are 'getting some' while i'm not getting any. Good for them. How do they know you're not getting any? I am single now and never had so much sex in my whole life. But then it also depends on the age of the person... people don't bother older people about being single... So ... really who cares? It's YOUR life!
directx Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I am single now and never had so much sex in my whole life. Quit bragging!
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I am single now and never had so much sex in my whole life. Quit bragging! I'm not bragging...
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I wasn't quite finish with my post ... my MM (from work) came in for an unannounced visit (he had a meeting).. so I had to close everything... LOL OK so... I guess you're quite young and that's why you feel such pressure... you can tell them something like: 'how do you know I'm not getting lots of sex?' or simply say that it is YOUR choice for now and that you're happy with it. Sometimes, people realize what they just said when they get an answer like that.
loveinlife Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I totally understand what you are going through. If it makes you happy, do as you please =)
KenzieAbsolutely Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Why does it bother you what people want for you or say to you? If you're happy being single, give them a wink, accompanied by a cheeky grin and tell them so. i'm with tbf on this one. no matter what you do, or don't do, someone is going to have something to say about it. i know it's easy to say "just ignore it" and that may be what you should do. but it couldn't hurt to once in a while say something like "wow, does my status really bother you that much that you have an opinion about it? is it because yoooooooooou want to date me?" and make them feel ridiculous. for every person in a relationship, there is one who is not. why is one more right than the other? and why should outsiders get to decide? do you tell them that you think they have been in relationships long enough and that you don't get why they're still in them and not enjoying the single life? probably not. so try it...and tell them to MYOB.
Sand&Water Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 RE: Trotter, Your post hit the nail on the head -for me, that is. I could have written those thoughts exactly regarding my situation, only for finding a boyfriend. Has anyone else felt the same way these days? Yes. Annoying -or even frustrating doesn't quite begin to describe the feeling itself. I have heard the "Why don't you have a boyfriend" tape recorder for years -and frankly it has really started to tick me off. But, I know that they're just looking out for my well being, and happiness. One day, the people in my life will eventually realize that I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy -(although, it does get lonely at times) for the time being, though, I am best content as a single woman. In due time, someone will come along. Be patient. Regards, Sand&Water
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