Torn between 2 loves ....how to choose??

[bathingape]

pretty much i'm in love with 2 woman right now and i dont know what to do

i never understood how things like this could happen untill now

 

 

Girl 1

We've been going out for little over 2 years now, she lives close to me and we go to college together.

she is the take home to mom girl, kind of a 'safe bet'. we get along fine but sometimes i feel like im watered down around her and i cant have fun... out personalities arent always compatable. However we have so many interests in common so we can talk for hours.

Over the past few weeks we have been taking a break and we agreeed that once back up at school we would see how things are. (i go back to school next week)

 

Girl 2

we have been working together this summer, so i've only known her for a few months. She is definetly more crazy (in a good way) and outgoing so our personalities are so similar its scary sometimes. i've literally never gotten along so well or had so much fun with anyone before, even tho we dont see eye to eye on everything it doesnt matter

We had been friends all summer, more so after my gf and i took a break. It was pretty much all perfect untill last night i went to her place and after a great day together she kissed me. I told her that i really love her and i feel the same way but i dont have closure with my gf and that im going back to school (like 4 hours away) in a few days and that it wouldnt be fair to start something now, it seems like we wouldnt have a shot and i wish that we had met at a better time.

But i said i've never met anyone like her and that if we could just be friends for now untill things easier. thats when she broke my heart and said that she liked me too much to just be friends.

 

 

So now im stuck, going back to girl 1 would be so easy but i cant lose girl 2, i need her in my life. she is like noone ive met but she cant just be friends.

On the other hand, i still love girl 1 and dont want to hurt her by breaking up when she has done nothing wrong and we still love eachother and have been through alot. plus we will be at school together next week. she is the 1st real relationship i've been in so i've never experienced loss before either.

 

 

i really need some advice and guidence here ......because i feel i need to make this decision now before i go any further in either direction

 

thanks for listening

[LN99]

With Girl 1, it seems like your comfortable. But, you have your doubts. You can't always be yourself and you both took a break over the summer.

I don't think your really happy w/ her. So, if you really aren't, maybe its a good thing to just let her go.

 

With Girl 2, you seem to have deep feelings for in such a short time. I think part of it is because it is new and the other part being that you get a long so well.

 

Either way, you need to choose. If I were you, I would choose Girl 2. I don't think things were going well with Girl 1, but you stayed w/ her because it was convienient. That is something that definately does not a relationship make. At least a good one.

 

Things may or may not work out with Girl 2, but at least you tried and aimed for something more that you really wanted. That, in my book, is credible. Plus, you never know, she may end up being the "one."

[Lizzie60]

I guess you need to make a choice, do you really have to?

 

Anyway I would go for no. 2. No. 1 is tooo boring IMO.

 

If you try to run too many ...you'll lose them all... unless you just don't choose.. for now.

 

ps... you talk too much...

[whichwayisup]

Seems girl #2 will grow with you - More so than girl #1. But, with that being said, you love both of them for different reasons.

 

Whatever your decision is, just make sure you pick who YOU want to be with, don't stay with one out of guilt, or worry what your mom or other friends will think. You're living your life for you, so don't let ANYONE in your family or circle of friends pressure you because "THEY" think one is better for you than the other.

 

Good luck and please keep us updated.

 

PS I don't think you talk too much at all. Better to talk TOO MUCH than not enough.

[bathingape]

OK IM BACK

1st off, thanks for your responses people

 

 

so i pretty much am back where i started haha

ive told them both how i feel about everything

 

im back at school with girl 1 .....but we are just friends, which is hard because we try not to hang out as much while she is kinda my best friend so the limits are hard

 

when i was leaving for school i told girl 2 i wanted to try to be friend for now and maybe try a relationship when im more ready, needless to say she was very sad/mad and didnt talk to me for a while.....recently we started talking to again and she just makes me laugh so much and makes me happy, but now she wants a relationship again and if not she doesnt want to talk to me cause she said she likes me too much to only be friends......its just hard cause we are just at different parts of our lives, while shes only a few years older shes a few hours away and looking for jobs while im still in school.

 

so pretty much if i say yes to girl 2 i know that girl 1 would be extremely hurt and i would likely lose her as a friend, my best friend, but if i dont say yes to girl 2 than i likely will never see her again, which honestly breaks my heart.

 

im at another crossroads here....i hate this **** ...it just makes me sick and i have no motivation for school or work, this **** consumes me, but i feel like i have to do something about it instead of letting things handle themselves

 

thanks for listening again

[DOA]

Why is it so hard to choose? You're being very selfish stringing both girls along and hanging them by a thread. If you are not careful, you're going to lose both, or maybe by the time you figure out who you really want, she'll have walked out of your life forever.

 

I had a guy do this to me once...flirting around, acting like he was single, giving me all the indications it was good to go...until he dropped the bombshell that he had a gf. Then had the audacity to tell me he couldn't make up his mind after playing with my head for weeks. When I finally walked after being sick of being stringed along for ages, boy, he made a decision quick fast considering how "tough" it had been for him just the day before.

 

I've since learned that when boys say it's "so hard" to make a choice, it's just complete bull. You know deep down what you want. All a girl has to do is put her foot down and then it'll become crystal clear to you that you've either fked up majorly or made the right choice.

[Cad Rake]

Dude, why do you need to choose? You're young enough that you should be dating as many women as you can! There's nothing like having two girlfriends at once if you can swing it (no pun intended.) Live it up dude, there's plenty of time to have a ball and chain.

[bathingape]

DOA, i completely agree and understand .....thanks for slapping me around too lol

 

 

and i think ur right that i need to choose, but that doesnt mean that it's not hard to choose ....trust me if i could end this feeling i would have already, i feel so sick and i really dont wanna hurt anyone but i feel the only way to get outta this is to really hurt one person and go all in with the other ....i think i just care about them both so much i dont wanna see either hurt

[norajane]

How often would you really see girl #2, since you're now 4 hours away and she'll soon have a full time job?

 

Also, are you the jealous type? Because girl #2 will start meeting new people at her job, guys her age, guys who will be going out to happy hour with her after work, guys she'll be hanging out with on weekends...

 

And girl #1 will eventually start dating other guys - how does that thought make you feel?

 

Basically, imagine losing one of them completely - imagine she is no longer in your life AT ALL and is happy in love with someone else. Losing which girl to another guy makes you sick to your stomach?

 

To be honest, I believe if a person is divided between two people, they aren't really, truly into either one of them enough. Otherwise, there would be no choice - it would be very clear where his interests really lie.

[bathingape]

norajane, i agree with you, and thanks for takin ur time to respond.....thanks to all who responded so far

 

it definetly would hurt me more to see girl1 see other guys, but thats natural cause we've been going out for a while

 

and i understand what you mean about girl2 being far away cause i would definetly feel alone, but then again i feel that i never gave it a chance at all

 

RIGHT NOW, losing girl 2 is making me sick to my stomach, its been bad lately

but overall i can see myself with girl1 just not right now for some reason, its just shes been my only love so i feel like if i let her go now, shell be gone forever

 

guess im just scared