fabulousgal Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 So. Been quite along time since I have posted for personal reasons in here. Basically, the guy that was perfect, I drove him away. The ex that caused me to find LS has won again. I couldn't seem to really get over the fact I was disposable and not a priority to Ex #1. I met #2 and was thrilled. When it came down to it, I nagged and nagged out of fear of a repeat situation. Basically I was so stuck on being a priority because of my past and I wanted everything executed flawlessly. I messed up. He is gone now. And I can only blame me. I was so sad today. I still am, or I would not be posting. The one thing I do know is that I apologized and finally told him about my ex and how it f'ed w me. There have been things I have forgiven him for in the past. Maybe it will be the same and he will forgive me. If not I will regret this for a very long time, but I will not let him see me weak. I did that before, and it was the biggest mistake ever. Dunno, but after a breakup, as sweet as it is that someone's feelings are all heightened and exposed and they want to make you realize that they have genuine feelings...it backfires. The best thing to do is act un phased. And its so sad, because in reality I am not feeling that way at all. I wish I could catch myself making bad judgements out of fear. I guess it's too late now, no matter if you do realize it and want to make it right.
AriaIncognito Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I'm sorry to see you back here. The best you can do, is learn from the mistake you made with #2. I was with you for #1 and I totally understand why you feel the way you did with #2 and how it was going or how you wanted it to go. I have fears that I'll be the same way once I finally meet someone after my "#1". The best you can really do, is give yourself time to heal, from both of them, and then maybe start looking. You are such a social woman, I doubt you'll have a problem filling the calendar :-)
Author fabulousgal Posted August 24, 2007 Author Posted August 24, 2007 thanks aw. i am social and have many good things going on for me. i do feel like i blew it though, he was going to be back soon (we've been ldr for months with little means of communtication) and i should have just relaxed. it was a dumb idea for both of us to agree to doing this though while he was away. we should have kept it casual. now i feel like he is so tired of me that when he comes back, he won't really try at all. but, that also makes me think that if he could seriously hold our fighting against me under such extreme circumstances (as in he had no phone!), he's not worth it anyway if he puts in no effort when he gets back. We did go through a lot while he he's been away and tried since we liked eachother very much. I think it would be silly of him not to even see if things would be better. However I can't control him, I can can only work on me. Trying to smile
IMUSTBEAFOOL Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 did u ever stop to think that maybe he hasn't left at all - maybe he's just waiting to hear from u. wanna know a secret? u have some personal stuff u are working on right? chances are when u broke up u felt that these issues HAD to be resolved just by you - so in essence you are doing the #1 thing that kills a R - you are telling the other person that they are not welcome in an activity that is actually life altering - now, if you asked him back to help you and become a team again - like its supposed to be - you'll probably get a nice surprise. see, that's what being in an R is all about - creating shared experiences in which you grow as a person with the assistance of someone you have picked to be a life partner - that's what its all about give it a shoot - u never know stay kewl
Recommended Posts