CaliGuy Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 (uhhh, that should say RESEARCH....it realize it's a typo ) Not sure if I can post the link to this article or not, but according to researchers, you'll be fine after a break up. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070821/od_nm/love_lost_odd_dc
Toolate Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 lies! It depends, a 6 month fling sure, But a 5+ years relationship and it is one of the hardest things that can happen to you. It also depends on how much you put into the relationship. Also lots of times it can bring up past problems that have been hiding. Those are very nasty.
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 No kidding. Most people don't even fall "in love" in the first six months. More like "in lust", infatuated, obsessed or experience limerance. If you're not in love, let yourself experience a short period of angst, give yourself a shake and most importantly, move on...
birdie Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 I don't think it's just about how much you love a person after 6 months or 2 years, it's about how dependent you become on them. it's sometimes hard to get out of a shorter relationship if it hasn't run its course in your eyes while there is a different reason why getting out of a long term relationship is hard.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 I don't think it's just about how much you love a person after 6 months or 2 years, it's about how dependent you become on them. it's sometimes hard to get out of a shorter relationship if it hasn't run its course in your eyes while there is a different reason why getting out of a long term relationship is hard. I completely agree with you birdie. I ended my 2.5 year relationship with an ex bf where we shared our dreams together, where he relocated to be with me, where we were best friends and felt better than right now where I am trying to end a relationship of 9 months with a cold, detached, unemotional partner! With my ex, I felt like the relationship had run its course and that it was time for me to move on. With this relationship in which I am currently trying to move on from and end, I can't accept it's over because I keep thinking, there must be more to this, there has got to be, and am waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. I know in my hearts of hearts he's not the one for me that I need to leave, but it's just so hard! So I agree, sometimes shorter relationships can be harder to end. All in all, it really varies on the level of attachment and expectations involved.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 I think the general gist of the article is accurate- that its never as "devastating" as you think it will be- because most people survive breakups and move on eventually- no matter how bad you think it will be, you will survive. Those of us who are out the other sides of their breakups often tell people on here who are posting about new breakups that things will get better and they will be OK eventually. Its usually right.
IMUSTBEAFOOL Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 i think its not what happens to end the R or what happens during the breakup that impacts you the most - its who you are in the R with - for me my last R ending was completely devastating - but that's a good thing because it might the love i had for her was strong - for me what hurts is the loss of the other person - not what they did etc. but the removal of thei complete being when they have become part of you - that's not co-depend or unhealthy - its a fact of life when u love someone deeply they become part of you so the hurt comes from the void inside you that they created with u. that's an amazing feeling to experience and isn't that what life is meant to be? experiences? and when they are new - you don't know how to react - you learn, and tame the beast incase it happens again. stay kewl
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