movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 You know I love you to death and I am so proud of you! You've come a long way. You do belong here. Experience is wisdom and you have plenty of that! Just don't let it interfer with that busy social life....sheeeeeesh....lol You know I'm in love with you don't you? Social life? What social life? I think Mr. Social Life is very jealous right now that this board is taking me away from his issues! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh well, probably another one down the drain! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I just got myself started!!!!!!!!!! CAM MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
underpants Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I experienced both and agree! Both sides are a sh*ty places to be. I also agree with MO when she stated that AP needs to heal and opening up more than a can of worms can send her spiraling down. You know... I see this here and there and in my real life. I am an observer and I just have a boundary that tells me to detach when there are commitments (even if it seems I am the only one that respects them). I just wonder when I get caught up in the drama of these (and similiar) threads. I guess, I just wonder if there is a base root cause that drives souls to engage and decide to walk a path that for so many seem to wind up at a hurtful place. I am not judging, I am learning. I am tempted to post a thread but I fear the sensitivites I see would cause me many virtual tomatos. I am just curious and would love to see the issue honestly and respectfully discussed. I have contributed to AP's sitch as much as my experience an observations can allow and I do hope she returns and tries to find her course.
RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 You know... I see this here and there and in my real life. I am an observer and I just have a boundary that tells me to detach when there are commitments (even if it seems I am the only one that respects them). I just wonder when I get caught up in the drama of these (and similiar) threads. I guess, I just wonder if there is a base root cause that drives souls to engage and decide to walk a path that for so many seem to wind up at a hurtful place. I am not judging, I am learning. I am tempted to post a thread but I fear the sensitivites I see would cause me many virtual tomatos. I am just curious and would love to see the issue honestly and respectfully discussed. I have contributed to AP's sitch as much as my experience an observations can allow and I do hope she returns and tries to find her course. Underpants....luvin the name! Well, post away if you have something you want discussed. You may get a few growels, but don't take it personally, it's not like anyone has been over to your house for a beer!....lol You will get some really good feedback by those who understand the question and don't post for the sake of PMS, Menopause or had a bad day with the H or MM.....lol Seriously, there are some very intelligent people who walk in this Forum. I actually enjoy reading some of the perceptions by those who articulate with logic and not emotion.
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Social life? What social life? I think Mr. Social Life is very jealous right now that this board is taking me away from his issues! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO Ummm. I think Mr. Social Life just became "compliant"! No surprise there, eh? Huh? Wha? My head is spinning. Did I hear that word somewhere?
GreenEyedLady Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Huh? Wha? My head is spinning. Did I hear that word somewhere? Didja... I think you did...
RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 You know I'm in love with you don't you? Social life? What social life? I think Mr. Social Life is very jealous right now that this board is taking me away from his issues! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh well, probably another one down the drain! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I just got myself started!!!!!!!!!! CAM MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MO...now listen up.... In your social travels keep one that knows how to fix the sink, one that can build a basement, one who does electrical, one likes to travel etc...until the one that knows how to do everything and is everything comes along......lol Keep the drain pipes open woman!....lol
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 MO...now listen up.... In your social travels keep one that knows how to fix the sink, one that can build a basement, one who does electrical, one likes to travel etc...until the one that knows how to do everything and is everything comes along......lol Keep the drain pipes open woman!....lol Good Lord! Should I start counting the gray hairs on my head now? By the time I'm done, maybe this Mr. Wonderful will show up!
RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Good Lord! Should I start counting the gray hairs on my head now? By the time I'm done, maybe this Mr. Wonderful will show up! Well jump over to my Thread we've got work to do on H&A...maybe we rope her in on our adventures.....lol
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 You know... I see this here and there and in my real life. I am an observer and I just have a boundary that tells me to detach when there are commitments (even if it seems I am the only one that respects them). I just wonder when I get caught up in the drama of these (and similiar) threads. I guess, I just wonder if there is a base root cause that drives souls to engage and decide to walk a path that for so many seem to wind up at a hurtful place. I am not judging, I am learning. I am tempted to post a thread but I fear the sensitivites I see would cause me many virtual tomatos. I am just curious and would love to see the issue honestly and respectfully discussed. I have contributed to AP's sitch as much as my experience an observations can allow and I do hope she returns and tries to find her course. Underpant's, Your post did inspire me to return just for the moment! I think your post is very "Brilliant"! I have to wonder so much about all that is said here on this forum. Reality hit me in the face when a very close friend of mine for many, many month's made the decesion to post a message with link's to post's I made a year ago. This was done IMO not to help in anyway, but to hurt me plain and simple! Anyway, I will find my course and I will inform those whom I have pm'd today the new's of how "Telling the wife" goes. Thank's.
JamesM Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Underpant's, Your post did inspire me to return just for the moment! I think your post is very "Brilliant"! I have to wonder so much about all that is said here on this forum. Reality hit me in the face when a very close friend of mine for many, many month's made the decesion to post a message with link's to post's I made a year ago. This was done IMO not to help in anyway, but to hurt me plain and simple! Anyway, I will find my course and I will inform those whom I have pm'd today the new's of how "Telling the wife" goes. Thank's. Since you may be referring to me...although my name is not mentioned, I in no way posted those links to hurt you. I can say that with all honesty. I can say that I was trying to show you that...since you asked us here for advice...maybe if you looked back at what you posted, you may see that the wisest action is NOT to talk with the MM's wife. I know that you know this has been my advice, and I thought that you would certainly realize that my motivation is never without your best interests in mind. If it is I that caused Reality to slap you in the face, I can say wholeheartedly that I am sorry that my post offended you. And I can also say that if I knew that you would be offended by it, I would not have posted it. Hopefully when you read this, you will forgive me. And as you know, you can PM me at any time. My "door" is always open.
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Since you may be referring to me...although my name is not mentioned, I in no way posted those links to hurt you. I can say that with all honesty. I can say that I was trying to show you that...since you asked us here for advice...maybe if you looked back at what you posted, you may see that the wisest action is NOT to talk with the MM's wife. I know that you know this has been my advice, and I thought that you would certainly realize that my motivation is never without your best interests in mind. If it is I that caused Reality to slap you in the face, I can say wholeheartedly that I am sorry that my post offended you. And I can also say that if I knew that you would be offended by it, I would not have posted it. Hopefully when you read this, you will forgive me. And as you know, you can PM me at any time. My "door" is always open. B*** S*** James! You know me James and have for month's! Please Jame's your sad siggy line "I am just a PM away" does not cut it! You are not for real and you know it end of our conversation!
smoochygirl Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 After reading her previous post i think there is no point in telling MM's W, Because MM is not her MM, He just simply turn down her proposition. I hope you move on and be happy with what you have. good luck.
smoochygirl Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I also suggest that you should stop thinking that you are/was an OW of this MM you are talking about, it seems like you never was. Im proud of you for that.
Fun2BMe Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I also suggest that you should stop thinking that you are/was an OW of this MM you are talking about, it seems like you never was. Im proud of you for that. I think an EA qualifies as being the OW but there's no reason to be proud of anything - she wanted it to be physical, he didn't, so she's out to ruin his marriage out of her anger and jealousy for his wife. And for James to go out of his way to dig through her past to make his points, and her to get all angry over it, shows how immature she is for fuming, similar to how she acted in the relationship with the MM who didn't want to continue with her demands to take it further. Just because she shared the EA with her H and the MM has chosen to be smart about it and not share it with his W, she is out to do the deed for him to help ruin his marriage.
smoochygirl Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I think an EA qualifies as being the OW but there's no reason to be proud of anything - she wanted it to be physical, he didn't, so she's out to ruin his marriage out of her anger and jealousy for his wife. And for James to go out of his way to dig through her past to make his points, and her to get all angry over it, shows how immature she is for fuming, similar to how she acted in the relationship with the MM who didn't want to continue with her demands to take it further. Just because she shared the EA with her H and the MM has chosen to be smart about it and not share it with his W, she is out to do the deed for him to help ruin his marriage. I know what you mean, I am just trying to be polite because she seems very rude to the people who are honest to her. she claim to have emotional affair but also she said at the same time that she's the one pursuing him and he never said he love her and they never have sex, so i don't see why she will be an OW she claim to be.
PoshPrincess Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I know what you mean, I am just trying to be polite because she seems very rude to the people who are honest to her. she claim to have emotional affair but also she said at the same time that she's the one pursuing him and he never said he love her and they never have sex, so i don't see why she will be an OW she claim to be. No, but he still lead her on BIG TIME. They didn't have sex but they still had sexual contact. He was getting his kicks and that was as much as he could bring himself to do whilst convincing himself that he wasn't actually having an A. (IMO, a man will only consider a PA as an actual A). It sounds to me, reading between the lines, that he enjoyed stringing her along but when the sh*t hit the fan and she told him she wanted more, he realised he couldn't handle it.
NoIDidn't Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 What I don't understand here is why what James posted was "hurtful". How? It was your own words. It would be different if he doctored it in any way. But he didn't. They were your own words that you yourself posted. And that ANYONE can go back and read. I suggested that you go back and re-read your old posts. But it appears that your own words offend you. That explains why you ignore the suggestion. Everyone here is concerned about your well-being. Everyone here has offered many possible outcomes and ways of looking at this. I don't see how your own words can be offensive. But it does beg the question of why you insist on talking to a woman you described as a "cold fish". Since you won't be posting the outcome, I'll post my assumptions of how it will go: badly. I think you would be well served by another stint of counselling. I was. I would be helped more if I went again too. So its not a dig.
JamesM Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 James, How do I say it? I trust your word's of advice you know that! Please advise me. AP:) Again, I know that my post was not done to hurt. I felt that if I could show you (AP) that sometimes we all need to revisit what we felt in the past, then you may realize that from our viewpoint, telling the wife may not be to your advantage. Since you told me earlier in the thread that you trusted me, I felt that I could be honest with my feelings which are based on your words only. If you felt that this was a betrayal, I am sorry for that. It was definitely not that...it was simply one friend telling another what he felt was best for her.
stillafool Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 I say don't tell not because it would hurt the W but because it will put you in more pain and you won't feel the closure you desire. Since it was an ea (or even not) she won't leave him. It will make them both hate you and probably make their marriage better. It will spill over to your H and kids. But, if you feel you can't go on without telling her then tell her.
Mustang Sally Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 Ok. Listen people. This drama is unbelievable. There's no doubt in my mind that if I were posting some of this stuff (as the OP) I would NEVER get away with it! Methinks the lady doth protest too much. 'Nuff said. I'm done.
Kathy Posted August 24, 2007 Posted August 24, 2007 I dont post too much, but I'm gonna this time. It's like this, it takes two to tango. You allowed yourself to be led on in hopes for something more. You were married remember? I was a betrayed spouse. Does it bother you that you chose to come clean with your husband because of your guilt and he didnt? IMO you need to keep yourself home and work on your marriage and quit worrying about what's going on next door. If you had done this in the beginning you wouldnt be where you are now. He knew his limits, but obviously that wasnt enough for you. Get over it. Get some counseling and leave the man and his wife alone. I think you're getting off on the attention and just want to throw things in her face, to make yourself feel better and hurt somebody else involved. You need to spend this energy trying to better yourself and your OWN marriage and mind your own business.
jj2007 Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 I have wanted to inform mm's wife of my ea/slight pa that went on betwen us for 18 1/2 month's (Refer to my "I think the W need's to know Thread") What I would love to know is for those of you with cheating H how would you have felt if you heard the info straight from the OW? NO need to bash me here I am just looking for you feedback and thought's. Just to clarify my Affair was an emotional one NO actual SEX involved. AP:) IF the OW came to me and at least treated me like a human instead of calling me a stupid b**ch and told me what was going on, I would have soaked in the info and thanked her. Of course H should have been the one to tell me but NO I found out from a family member that H was taking OW to her house to socialize and sober up before he came home. Being the last one to know REALLY DOES SUCK!! It made me feel like I was an idiot, too stupid to realize what was going on right under my nose!
safehaven2aplace4us Posted August 27, 2007 Posted August 27, 2007 AP has still got it bad for her mm neighbor. That's all there is to it. No one else sees it???
AJS Posted August 29, 2007 Posted August 29, 2007 I see it too AH2P4. AP, please try to just work on your marriage, you seem to be wasting so much energy on a man who DOESN'T WANT YOU. Can't you see this and just deal with it? Why don't you love your husband enough to get over it? If you say you do, then STOP what you are doing!!! Your words and actions speak for you, and so far you look like an obsessed woman. After reading your story, I think you really need to think of your marriage and let this go before you lose it all. You will if you keep this up... trust me.
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