silktricks Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 It's great that you know why you remain in your marriage. Seriously! However, there are many who stay out of settling or for convenience sake. Absolutely there are. But there are also many who stay because they love their spouses and want to spend the rest of their lives loving them. I'm not unique or even rare.
lost4ever Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 What does that piece of paper represent? Does it ever truely force someone to stay? Look, my point is this. You want out of a marriage... whats stopping you? Its not that bloody tough. If you cant step up to someone you "love" and tell them with HONESTY, that you want out, thats cowardice pure and simple. I dont see the shackles and chains. There's barely even a social stigma anymore. If you dont think you can commit to somebody... be friggin honest and upfront. BTW.... the tribal analogy, while I get the point... fails to reflect reality in so many ways. Oh, I do not believe it's the one that wants to leave that is effected most by this so called contract, it's the one that doesn't because of a piece of paper, the spouse has a false sense of security, "You can't leave you made a vow"and the tribal thing was not an analogy, it's history, most out dated ritual we have today were put into place for a reason total different then what they are used for now. and not that I want to get off subject here but if marriage was really about love and commitment would the majority of the population be against same sex marriage, no, they are against it because they believe there is no purpose to marry, they can't have children
Cobra_X30 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 Oh, I do not believe it's the one that wants to leave that is effected most by this so called contract, it's the one that doesn't because of a piece of paper, the spouse has a false sense of security, "You can't leave you made a vow"and the tribal thing was not an analogy, it's history, most out dated ritual we have today were put into place for a reason total different then what they are used for now. and not that I want to get off subject here but if marriage was really about love and commitment would the majority of the population be against same sex marriage, no, they are against it because they believe there is no purpose to marry, they can't have children Your saying that poeple dont think divorce is possible because they say vows? There are no legal protections for marriage, just social morays which at this point are so weak they dont prevent anything. So I am wonder why you think M would give someone a false sense of security that they wouldnt otherwise have in a long term R? When we enter into a relationship dont we make promises and vows? Is that more disposable? Is my word less valuable to you if there isnt a wedding band behind it? If its historical... whats the name of the tribe? You study cultural anthropology... you will find women were property in tribal situations. You didnt really have much choice in your mates. The guys all played by a set of rules... and the ones that didnt got killed by the ones that did. Life sucked.
movinon05 Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 and not that I want to get off subject here but if marriage was really about love and commitment would the majority of the population be against same sex marriage, no, they are against it because they believe there is no purpose to marry, they can't have children Oh but that is a very lovely point and deserves some credit. although i don't believe it has anything to do with not marrying because they can't have children. But I digress on that subject.
lost4ever Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Your saying that poeple dont think divorce is possible because they say vows? There are no legal protections for marriage, just social morays which at this point are so weak they dont prevent anything. So I am wonder why you think M would give someone a false sense of security that they wouldnt otherwise have in a long term R? When we enter into a relationship dont we make promises and vows? Is that more disposable? Is my word less valuable to you if there isnt a wedding band behind it? If its historical... whats the name of the tribe? You study cultural anthropology... you will find women were property in tribal situations. You didnt really have much choice in your mates. The guys all played by a set of rules... and the ones that didnt got killed by the ones that did. Life sucked. But there IS legal protection in M, that is why the OW can be sued, that is why there is alimony, and on and on, and yes, you find people all the time with the false sense of hope that the contract brings, the whine I hear all the time is, but you said vows, you said till death do us part, you can't change you mind now! I have stated that you can take a vow and make a commitment in a long term R, with out the piece of paper, I am saying the piece of paper is out of date, or should I say the wording is out of date, I don't think we are actually at a disagreement here, I believe we have somewhat the same opinion (mine maybe going a little further) becuase I do not believe there should be a piece of paper at all, it should have nothing to do with the government and though and no, I didn't study cultural anthropogy (did take a few classes philosophy) which depending on the situation (as this) can be close to the same thing. Anyway, couldn't located the specific reading, so I googled for articles to "support" my point. I will however, keep looking so that I may justify my post, here are some of the articles that support the idea if you would like to read..unfspb.wordpress.com/2007/03/05/marriage-what-is-it-good-formarriage.about.com/cs/generalhistory/a/marriagehistory.htmwww.halexandria.org/dward227.htm
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 But there IS legal protection in M, that is why the OW can be sued, that is why there is alimony, and on and on, and yes, you find people all the time with the false sense of hope that the contract brings, the whine I hear all the time is, but you said vows, you said till death do us part, you can't change you mind now! I have stated that you can take a vow and make a commitment in a long term R, with out the piece of paper, I am saying the piece of paper is out of date, or should I say the wording is out of date, I don't think we are actually at a disagreement here, I believe we have somewhat the same opinion (mine maybe going a little further) becuase I do not believe there should be a piece of paper at all, it should have nothing to do with the government and though and no, I didn't study cultural anthropogy (did take a few classes philosophy) which depending on the situation (as this) can be close to the same thing. Anyway, couldn't located the specific reading, so I googled for articles to "support" my point. I will however, keep looking so that I may justify my post, here are some of the articles that support the idea if you would like to read..unfspb.wordpress.com/2007/03/05/marriage-what-is-it-good-formarriage.about.com/cs/generalhistory/a/marriagehistory.htmwww.halexandria.org/dward227.htm Well, I could drone on and on about the biological insentives for marriage, the reasons human females are the only animlas to have masked fertility periods... ect. However, I will take your story at face value for two reasons. 1. I dont think you would lie, 2. Im too tire to look it up. I think our opinions are very similar as you point out... (nice move)! Suffice it to say I would rather see the institution revised... not scrapped. Maybe that just because I maintain hope that someday I can make one work... 4ever.
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Maybe that just because I maintain hope that someday I can make one work... 4ever. Wow! How did you know? I have that embroidered on my pillow surrounded by little flowers and hearts?????
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Wow! How did you know? I have that embroidered on my pillow surrounded by little flowers and hearts????? Here is what I wanted to say to that comment: "I know!... where do you think I got that line from?" Here is what I am going to actually say: I'm glad you hold faith... because some day, you will find the the right guy, and then you can throw the pillow out.
lost4ever Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Wow! How did you know? I have that embroidered on my pillow surrounded by little flowers and hearts????? LOLOK, I'll live with you and Cobras' hope, but just answer me one question, did your parents read fairytales to you before bed (just trying to be funny, not mean)
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 LOLOK, I'll live with you and Cobras' hope, but just answer me one question, did your parents read fairytales to you before bed (just trying to be funny, not mean) Mine did! And when I was married the fairytale did not include loving my H and spending time on an OW Forum.
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Here is what I wanted to say to that comment: "I know!... where do you think I got that line from?" Now see??????? You just took the fun away from it! Here is what I am going to actually say: I'm glad you hold faith... because some day, you will find the the right guy, and then you can throw the pillow out. From your lips to God's ear, eh? (Oh, and the eh? comes from my association with you know who.)
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 LOLOK, I'll live with you and Cobras' hope, but just answer me one question, did your parents read fairytales to you before bed (just trying to be funny, not mean) No, they did not. But I was an avid reader back in the day (boy I hate that phrase too!). And all I ever read were romance novels. Since all of life's crap has rained down upon me, I refuse to read another romance novel. But books by John Grisham and such? Oh baby, I'm there!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 LOLOK, I'll live with you and Cobras' hope, but just answer me one question, did your parents read fairytales to you before bed (just trying to be funny, not mean) My dad did... 3 musketeers, captains couragous, count of monte cristo. Hope is what makes us Human!
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 My dad did... 3 musketeers, captains couragous, count of monte cristo. Hope is what makes us Human! Looks like Cobra is out to save the world!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you want to judge a reader by his subjects).
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Looks like Cobra is out to save the world!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you want to judge a reader by his subjects). Cobra....oh Cobra.....Got an extra cape?.....LMAOOOOOOOO
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 LOL... Im glad I left out Moby Dick. Im not sure I can take more of your mental pictures!
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 LOL... Im glad I left out Moby Dick. Im not sure I can take more of your mental pictures! OMG! That's halarious! *spank* *spank* Now quit exposing yourself.....lol
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 LOL... Im glad I left out Moby Dick. Im not sure I can take more of your mental pictures! Oh maybe you've just touched the surface. Who knows what will come out of my mouth next! (hee hee) Ha ha!!!!!!! I told you to beware of the *spank* now, didn't I?
Hurt & Alone Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 RC, I wanted to jump back in here to thank you for stating this thread because I had such a great time last night. I have not laughed so hard in such a long time, I really needed that. I can say that i am disappointed the humor did not continue. With this being said, going back to the what had been stated by Woggle; that he believes that we were a bunch of men bashers. Woggle, I am speaking for myself here. I dont hate men, I dream of the day that I can find one that is truly worth of my affection and all that I can offer into a relationship. Unfortunate for me, I found one; the only problem between us was he is already married. Finding a man that completes the puzzle is difficult because honestly many men and woman have been hurt tremendousily in past relationships that leaves them scarred and they in return become selfish and put the whole idea of happily ever after on a self to collect dust, just like the fairy tale books that we read as children. I just felt that I needed to clear this up, at least from my point of view regarding the 'man bashing'.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 RC, I wanted to jump back in here to thank you for stating this thread because I had such a great time last night. I have not laughed so hard in such a long time, I really needed that. I can say that i am disappointed the humor did not continue. With this being said, going back to the what had been stated by Woggle; that he believes that we were a bunch of men bashers. Woggle, I am speaking for myself here. I dont hate men, I dream of the day that I can find one that is truly worth of my affection and all that I can offer into a relationship. Unfortunate for me, I found one; the only problem between us was he is already married. Finding a man that completes the puzzle is difficult because honestly many men and woman have been hurt tremendousily in past relationships that leaves them scarred and they in return become selfish and put the whole idea of happily ever after on a self to collect dust, just like the fairy tale books that we read as children. I just felt that I needed to clear this up, at least from my point of view regarding the 'man bashing'. H&A....."happy dance" You more than welcome hunny! I never laughed so hard either! We MUST do it again! I had to disappear because company dropped by and I was hoping the party was still in full swing! On the men bashing....aw heck! Men are no different. It's a release and it was verrrrry funny! As for the "one day" life mate. I do believe I am done with that! Seriously no time! My life is full. One casual would be my perfect world. I seriously have said to my friends who are so unhappy in their marriages, well gang, while you sit on your front porch swing bickering with your H.... Look for me towards the water because I'll be waiving to ya all from that singles cruise ship!......lol Ahhhhhhhhh.......
Hurt & Alone Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Thanks again, I guess I wouldnt feel like this if I had a a date book full. Cant understand why men dont approach me, normally they just sit and druel. Oh well, I am off to bed to dream about the perfect man, so I guess that will leave the one close to pefect one I have ever known, my XMM.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Thanks again, I guess I wouldnt feel like this if I had a a date book full. Cant understand why men dont approach me, normally they just sit and druel. Oh well, I am off to bed to dream about the perfect man, so I guess that will leave the one close to pefect one I have ever known, my XMM. Well then, you must come out with us! Date books get full, me and MO are already on our 2008 Planner....lol
Author RealityCheck Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 Well then, you must come out with us! Date books get full, me and MO are already on our 2008 Planner....lol Not to worry H&A.....*puff* *puff* been running..... I'm calling in the calvery! This is what friends do! Forget the druel we get that too! We know all the strategic moves......*wink*
movinon05 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Perhaps H&A is in my time zone cause I'm off to my embroidered pillow - until the day I can "throw it out", that is!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Perhaps H&A is in my time zone cause I'm off to my embroidered pillow - until the day I can "throw it out", that is! Are you sure? I'm heading off to an elegant drinking establishment for the next couple of hours. I highly recommend the idea! Sleep is just SO overrated!
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