Emotional Abuse??

[mineymoe]

3 years into things with my guy i find myself more and more believing that he is suffering from long term emotional abuse.

I am wondering if anyone else has encountered this, and was there anyway to help their significant other.

The man I am involved with would never let those words cross his lips but the more I see and hear for myself, the more I am convinced.

He is part of a big extended family, hers, his is not good enough to seriously associate with, and for years they have all really ripped him apart and belittled him. The majority of the extended family, and now his own kids and himself are all on some type of psychiatric medication, depression, OCD, etc. Again this is my own observation, not him whining and complaining so that i feel sorry for him and have sex with him. He is not that type of person at all.

Anyway I just can't understand the man he is with me and the disaster he is a part of there. I have had my share of crappy relationships but the things i hear and see truly make me sick to my stomach and enraged. My guy takes more medication.

I know he listens to me and trusts me and I am going to do some more research on this but was just wondering if anyone else had encountered this type of situation and had any advice.

[NoIDidn't]

Your guy sounds seriously depressed as do the rest of his family members. It may be genetic.

 

Are you sure you can handle his issues if you were to get him? As long as you are propping him up, doesn't sound like it going to get any better any time soon.

[simplegirl]

My MM is totally verbally abused by his W. So is his oldest child (not her's). He never witnessed the stuff with the child until recently, before it was stuff people told him. That is why it has gotten so bad at his house. She has always told him he was lazy, worthless, that she hated him....I could go on and on. The first week I met them the 3 of us were sitting at a table together and she started going off on him. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there and he just sat there and took it. It's so sad. I have watched him try really hard with her. Try to hold her hand when everyone is just sitting around talking and she pushed him away, try to plan a nice weekend away for them together and she refused to participate, her hit him, leave him on the side of the road or at the store because she is mad, throw stuff at him, lock him out of the house because he went outside to smoke. I could go on and on. She does this in front of the kids so I know they are going to grow up thinking this is normal and live in the same pattern, I just hope they don't. He is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel because of his oldest though. He'd put up with it if it were just him though but since he has custody of his oldest now it is more apparent.

 

I wish I had advice for you but I could use it too. I would never say to him that he is abused because he wouldn't hear of it. I guess he is too manly to think he could be a victim. I just don't talk about it with him, I listen when he talks, especially about his son but I don't say much directly. My MM just hates going home. He does whatever he can to not go home which isn't good either because he could be spending so much more quality time with his kids if he was happy to go home. He just hasn't come to that realization yet. He told me about a month ago that sometimes he thinks I am the only person that likes him and that I am what keeps him going some days. That many days he wished I was the mother of his kids because he knows this whole situation is bad for them. It made me feel awful because he is a great guy in a bad situation. I also know that it is a bad situation he has to get himself out of. He is my friend, first and foremost, before anything else, I love him but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I have all the information he needs ready for him when he is ready to make a move but ultimately it is his choice when he is ready for it.