Haven't done this in awhile...should I call him back even though I don't want to?

[amber1]

I started talking to a guy from match.com about 3 weeks ago. We tried to call each other and nothing ever happened. I then got interested in someone else and that recently fell through. Right now I am sort of taking a dating break...I am kind of busy right now looking for a new job and just don't feel like dating around that much unless someone wonderful comes along. Anyway, this guy and I had added each other to myspace back when we first started communicating. Now he is emailing me wanting me to meet him for lunch. He called tonight and left a message AND texted me about meeting him this week. I honestly don't want to go. I'm not that interested. I haven't been in this situation in a while where I have had to turn someone down. Should I just not call him back? Not sure what to do and I don't want to look rude.

[Lizzie60]

Call him back or text him saying you have no intention to see him again... Just say you've changed your mind...whatever...

That's what I would do... simple.

[directx]

I agree with Lizzie. Tell him you just don't want a relationship and you have his contact info if you change your mind (if you want to go that far).

 

You can be honest, firm, and classy.

 

Need help with giving rejection? I have much experience on the other side of that.

[amber1]

Well, we have never even met before. We've never even spoken on the phone, just through 2 short, very unpersonal emails. Would it be bad if I just don't call him back for now?

[Alexandra-Girl]

May I suggest that you email him with a simple "Hello (insert name), I am extremely busy with external activities and have decided that dating is not appropriate right now. Please understand this, as this has no reflection on you but is what is best for me at the moment. Thank-you for your interest and I am sure you will find a lovely lady."

 

It is short, won't leave him feeling rejected, and you are not telling complete untruths. Remember that these people have feelings too and just because we may not want to see them doesn't mean that it allows us to shatter their egos. We've all been on both ends of spectrum and must remember what it does to our self-perception.

 

Good-luck,

Alex

[amber1]

May I suggest that you email him with a simple "Hello (insert name), I am extremely busy with external activities and have decided that dating is not appropriate right now. Please understand this, as this has no reflection on you but is what is best for me at the moment. Thank-you for your interest and I am sure you will find a lovely lady."

 

It is short, won't leave him feeling rejected, and you are not telling complete untruths. Remember that these people have feelings too and just because we may not want to see them doesn't mean that it allows us to shatter their egos. We've all been on both ends of spectrum and must remember what it does to our self-perception.

 

Good-luck,

Alex

 

Okay I might try something along those lines.

 

Thanks for the replies!

[Krytellan]

Just don't respond. I don't see why there is this moral obligation to do the right thing when you guys haven't even met, or talked for that matter. It's basically common practice that if you aren't interested you just don't respond. Anyone playing the "dating sites" game should pretty much expect that.

[Trialbyfire]

I would respond but not bother with the "it's not you, it's me" comments.

 

"Thanks for the offer but I'm a taking a break from dating right now. Take care."