MICKcarolina Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I need opinions other than my friends cos my ex and I share most of the same friends. I am 24, have been with this girl for 3 yrs. She had a crush on my friend at first and later on turned her attention to me. We started dating and things progressed pretty quickly. We have a lot of the same friends so it was good times. Trouble to me started when a mo. long trip to NY w/ twin sis became 4 mos. When she got back from NY, she and her sister moved in. It felt a little claustrophobic and I felt used. I just really wanted to be around this girl, she was my first "real" relationship. 2 mo. ago she and her sister asked if their friend could move into our spare room. I complied. I realized my relationship with this girl was dying and we talked about breaking up. In the midst of these talks I noticed an attraction between her and the new roommate. About a week after she moved out, they started sleeping together. This devastates me, but to make it worse we had planned for a band to play our basement and after I find out they are now sleeping together, they still show up to my house to continue on with their party plans. I was at work and just couldnt work up the nerve to go home. She comes by my work crying, apologizes and I tell her to get out of my face. I call my house after work and she says she doesnt know why shes apologizing, she is sorry to have hurt me but not sorry she screwed this guy. she goes so far as to say it was all her, she made the moves. she wants to be friends and coldly says i should screw some girls to feel better and i tell her to f%$K off and hang up. I havent talked to her for two days. Sounds like I shouldnt be her friend huh? I am just feeling weird about not ever seein someone I've known for 3 years of my life.
Kengne Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 first of all, i'm sorrry you're going through this. i know you're hurting right now. try not thinkin in such final terms i.e. it's over FOREVER AND EVER - you will NEVER EVER see her again. it makes it harder to move on. it's easier if you think of this chapter - her being in your life - over, FOR NOW. i don't know if you can be friends or more down the road but RIGHT NOW i dont think you can do that. you need to put your needs first and right now you need to heal. time n space away from her, will let you do that. post here, vent to friends, throw yourself in new hobbies... get busy, and know the pain WILL end. K.
JamesC78 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 if they screw around once, they'll do it again.
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 -edit: hang on, she's already moved out. Why does she have access to your home? You don't need to be her friend. If you feel like being her friend after your feelings are gone, that's big of you.
Author MICKcarolina Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 thanks for the wise words....im def. hurting. the term "forever" seems a little too much for me too, but her inconsiderate actions over the years/of late have made me now feel I couldnt be around her b/c of trust and my wellbeing. i know she just wants me to get over it cos she's moved on, but she's cold in her responses and i can't tell if she's trying to hurt me or just tell the hard truth. Maybe a bit of both. I feel bad that me saying "F*&K OFF" were the last words she heard from my mouth, but I've felt so under her control for the last year that it was a big release. I care about her though. Im just really confused and distraught about it. Screwing our old roommate 1 1/2 weeks after she moves out and then bringing him+herself to party in my home is just something that makes me want to draw the line.
Author MICKcarolina Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 when we booked the bands in our house it was before everything went south, and all the bands were friends. i thought they wouldve had the decency to know that i didnt want them to be there, but they just came over while i was at work, partied their asses off and when i told them to leave she called it childish/stupid/selfish for me to not want to see her again. when i asked why she brought him there she said, it's not him you should be mad at, it's me. it takes two to make it happen, so im mad at both.
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Nope, it's your house and they were uninvited guests. If she complains again, tell her you'll have her thrown out for trespassing next time.
Author MICKcarolina Posted August 21, 2007 Author Posted August 21, 2007 Have anymore insights, opinions or anything? cos they'd be helpful, but if not, I had nothing more to post so I probably wasnt going to check on this post anymore. Thanks to all who have given their words and thoughts. It's been helpful to say the least.
Toolate Posted August 22, 2007 Posted August 22, 2007 You guys went out for 3 years and your just supposed to let her and her buddies hang at your house. Uh, hell no.
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