alpha70 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 are they right back into another relationship with the same issues staring them right in the face? It's inevitable what will happen unless they find that certain someone who 1. Doesn't care about those issues or will ignore them or accept how they affect them. 2. Really gets into their mind and all of a sudden the ex decides that they want to work on all their "stuff".....highly doubt this one happens very often. Base case scenario for anyone coming out of a relationship where there was some dysfunction, is that they go get some counseling and come to understand why they act certain ways in relationships at certain times. I know I for one am going to see a counselor to see why I stayed as long as I did with a woman who had SOOOOOO many red flags. Better yet...why did I ignore those red flags just because she had some nice qualities and was really good looking....totally bad reason, but sometimes LUST sucks you in and keeps you there until it turns really ugly. Any thoughts?
sunnysideup1 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 All of my exes with issues simply moved on without addressing them. I think that it doesn't take another person for one to change; it really takes an individual to realize that they themselves need to change. I think it will always lead to a bad scenario when someone goes into a relationship wanting to fix another person. That never seems to work. In the end, the other person often needs just as much fixing because trying to fix someone else causes such an emotional drain and it doesn't even work. I agree that the best case scenario is that one goes to counseling to try and work through their problems, but often times this doesn't happen.
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 When people go to counseling, many of them go into it with the hopes that it will cure them, like an antibiotic. It doesn't do this. What it does is to make you understand your personal behaviours, maybe some of the other persons and also help to provide you with better coping tools for the future. Sometimes it helps to repair existing broken coping tools from relationship abuse or damage.
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