DateAnalyzer Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 My female friend left a message on my machine saying that she finally posted her picture on craiglist and received 19 emails and lots of the guys were cute. When hearing that on my machine It just annoyed the hell out of me, probably because I'm currently in a dating slump and to hear someone on the brink o having success just makes me ill? Am I childish? Horrible? I just don;t have the energy to be happy for anyone in REGARDS to dating right now. Now if she told me she got a promotion, or hit the lottery, or bought a new big screen TV I would be different but not hearing good things about dating. That's the message I woke up to and it just ruined my entire sunday BTW: i posted my picture yesterday also and received NO EMAILS. So i think that is playing a part too
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Nah, that's normal. I think everyone feels that way from time to time whether or not they like to admit it. Mine is less dating, and more when I hear my friends talking about their designer type lives, with nice houses, great vacations, new cars and boats, upper class dinner parties and friends, etc.
jcster Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I don't think it necessarily means your a horrible person, but I do think it's a warning sign as to where your head and attitude are at. As far as I can tell by your posts, you are desperately throwing yourself into the dating scene, taking each setback as a rejection, building resentments fueled by your "failures." You're failing to see that dating isn't a game, it's not a win-lose situation, and you've put far too much emphasis on its outcome. In light of this, it's no wonder that you feel jealous and resentful for what you see as your friend's "success." Dating is supposed to improve your life, not ruin it. You really need to step back and generate some good attitude. The way that you're going about it now is going to drive you (more) insane.
Kamille Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 BTW: i posted my picture yesterday also and received NO EMAILS. So i think that is playing a part too It could be the thing you posted elsewhere where you say your ad is about being into casual sex and watching tv. I command you on your honesty, but I would never give such a description a second thought if I was on a dating forum. Plus, I think dating sites reproduce the outside dating world. I believe men are more likely to approach women then vice-versa. I know when I was on a dating site I hardly ever initiated contact. So if you want action, make it happen SEXTVman.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 I guess I'm just the type of person who would have enough sense not to mention my dating success to a friend who had recently told me she has not been having a good summer and 3 horrible dates with the guy not caling her back. Just like I wouldn't tell a person who was laid off a month ago and had not found a job yet that I was promoted at my job. Wouldn't make a lot of sense
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 It could be the thing you posted elsewhere where you say your ad is about being into casual sex and watching tv. I command you on your honesty, but I would never give such a description a second thought if I was on a dating forum. Plus, I think dating sites reproduce the outside dating world. I believe men are more likely to approach women then vice-versa. I know when I was on a dating site I hardly ever initiated contact. So if you want action, make it happen SEXTVman. Why is it so hard to find a woman that likes watching TV??? I mean they seem like they don't exist in Philadelphia
Kamille Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Why is it so hard to find a woman that likes watching TV??? I mean they seem like they don't exist in Philadelphia Because women make a correlation between romance and orgams. Watching tv and casual sex? To me, that spells out couch potato, which suggests lazyness. It's because of the fact that most woman need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Ok, so I read the add: "I am looking for a woman who is into casual sex and watching tv". Well, what automatically comes to my mind is the image a couch potato who expects a bj and will likely not do much to return the favor. I would much prefer date someone who will likely put a little effort in trying to take my pants off. It's physiological my friend, physiological.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 Because women make a correlation between romance and orgams. Watching tv and casual sex? To me, that spells out couch potato, which suggests lazyness. It's because of the fact that most woman need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Ok, so I read the add: "I am looking for a woman who is into casual sex and watching tv". Well, what automatically comes to my mind is the image a couch potato who expects a bj and will likely not do much to return the favor. I would much prefer date someone who will likely put a little effort in trying to take my pants off. It's physiological my friend, physiological. So couples NEVER WATCH TV? They just have sex 24 hours a day? What about after sex?
Kamille Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 So couples NEVER WATCH TV? They just have sex 24 hours a day? What about after sex? But honeybunch, you are not in a couple yet and that ad doesn't suggest that you want to be in a couple at all. It states casual sex and tv. Not commited relationship spending wintery nights cuddled up in front of Family Guy reruns.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 But honeybunch, you are not in a couple yet and that ad doesn't suggest that you want to be in a couple at all. It states casual sex and tv. Not commited relationship spending wintery nights cuddled up in front of Family Guy reruns. I'm talking about when I post regular ads. And when i say TV watching, i don't mean never going outdoors, I mean both of us sharing the SAME PASSION for TV watching.
Kamille Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I'm talking about when I post regular ads. And when i say TV watching, i don't mean never going outdoors, I mean both of us sharing the SAME PASSION for TV watching. Ok so you have multiple ads? In the ones where you might mention being on the look out for romance, do you mention which tv shows you are perticularly fond of? Just there you have conversations starters. Plus, I repeat, when I was on a dating site, I expected men to initiate contact and not vice-versa. I think I wrote to one guy once for every 30 winks-contacts that were sent my way.
Lishy Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 what is your name on Craigslist? Post a link so we can see what you are doing wrong
Lishy Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Is craiglist a good place to look for love? I just had a look and you have dudes saying they want a f*ck and are not picky and women asking for someone to make them pregnant!!!!!!!! WTF!
directx Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 what is your name on Craigslist? Post a link so we can see what you are doing wrong I second that!
Lishy Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Ok DA let us help you find your perfect love Show us your advert and we will show you how to improve it so you get emails and dates!
directx Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Or at least just work with Lishy, DA. She does know what she is talking about and has helped others in the past. Plus, she is discreet!
jcster Posted August 20, 2007 Posted August 20, 2007 I guess I'm just the type of person who would have enough sense not to mention my dating success to a friend who had recently told me she has not been having a good summer and 3 horrible dates with the guy not caling her back. Just like I wouldn't tell a person who was laid off a month ago and had not found a job yet that I was promoted at my job. Wouldn't make a lot of sense Why? Friends usually expect their friends to be happy for them.
uniqueone Posted August 20, 2007 Posted August 20, 2007 My female friend left a message on my machine saying that she finally posted her picture on craiglist and received 19 emails and lots of the guys were cute. When hearing that on my machine It just annoyed the hell out of me, probably because I'm currently in a dating slump and to hear someone on the brink o having success just makes me ill? Am I childish? Horrible? I just don;t have the energy to be happy for anyone in REGARDS to dating right now. Now if she told me she got a promotion, or hit the lottery, or bought a new big screen TV I would be different but not hearing good things about dating. That's the message I woke up to and it just ruined my entire sunday BTW: i posted my picture yesterday also and received NO EMAILS. So i think that is playing a part too Why in the world would you be jealous of THAT? A woman posting a picture on Craigslist is like a woman going into a roadside biker bar! Nothing to be proud of that she got 19 emails. Personally I'd feel embarrassed that I appealed to the men on Craigslist.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 20, 2007 Author Posted August 20, 2007 Why? Friends usually expect their friends to be happy for them. I see you didn't read my post at all. I said since I'm having a horrible summer in regards to dating, I don't want to hear about how successful a friend is right now. Now if she experienced happiness in other areas just as JOB, or Money, then I would. I didn't want to hear sh*T about anyone having a good date right now
allina Posted August 20, 2007 Posted August 20, 2007 I think you ignore my posts, or maybe you've blocked me all together. I think that your reaction is somewhat natural and caused by your bitterness. Just don't let that jealousy show, that will really make you undesirable. Also I recommend taking a close look at yourself and the vibe you give off, if you are anything even slightly similar in the dating world as you are here you will have very little luck.
jcster Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 I see you didn't read my post at all. I said since I'm having a horrible summer in regards to dating, I don't want to hear about how successful a friend is right now. Now if she experienced happiness in other areas just as JOB, or Money, then I would. I didn't want to hear sh*T about anyone having a good date right now No, I read it. So, just because you're having a bad summer, your friend can't tell you about her good one? You sound so utterly self-centered, bitter, and resentful that you might want to work on changing that before you don't have any friends at all. That's far worse than not getting a date, don't you think?
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 21, 2007 Author Posted August 21, 2007 No, I read it. So, just because you're having a bad summer, your friend can't tell you about her good one? You sound so utterly self-centered, bitter, and resentful that you might want to work on changing that before you don't have any friends at all. That's far worse than not getting a date, don't you think? So if one of your friends got a promotion at work and you have been laid off for 3 months and still looking for a job, would u want to hear that??? Wouldn't it make sense for that friend to keep that kind of information from you knowing you are having a tough time trying to find a job? So how the hell could you be happy for that friend at that point in time?
PoshPrincess Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 My female friend left a message on my machine saying that she finally posted her picture on craiglist and received 19 emails and lots of the guys were cute. When hearing that on my machine It just annoyed the hell out of me, probably because I'm currently in a dating slump and to hear someone on the brink o having success just makes me ill? Am I childish? Horrible? I just don;t have the energy to be happy for anyone in REGARDS to dating right now. Now if she told me she got a promotion, or hit the lottery, or bought a new big screen TV I would be different but not hearing good things about dating. That's the message I woke up to and it just ruined my entire sunday BTW: i posted my picture yesterday also and received NO EMAILS. So i think that is playing a part too It doesn't make you a horrible person. Envy is perfectly natural. However, bitterness and jealousy can be a very unattractive trait. Of course your friend could have been more sensitive towards you but she is happy that something nice, IHO, has happened for her and I guess she just wanted to share that excitement with you. I have a friend who, when we were younger, was quite bitter about other people's good fortune and it really does wear you down in the end. Maybe you could have just made a joke to your friend and said in a lighthearted way, "Ok, so you're love life's going great. Mine's sh*t so don't rub it in!" hopefully getting the message across without appearing in any way jealous.
directx Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 Hey DateAnalyzer, its totally normal. Don't beat yourself up. You are not as bad as me. I should be grown up by now, but I love the following things: 1) People that were skinny their whole life, and are now fat 2) People that were fat, lost weight, and gained it all back 3) People getting pulled over for speeding 4) People that have had a great job for so long and then suddenly lose it and don't know what to do 5) People pretty their entire lives and cannot handle getting older 6) TV performers that fail on live tv 7) Actors and actresses who's careers go to hell 8) Kids that think they are smart because they do so well in highschool that fail miserably in college So please, you are not so bad
Kamille Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 So if one of your friends got a promotion at work and you have been laid off for 3 months and still looking for a job, would u want to hear that??? Wouldn't it make sense for that friend to keep that kind of information from you knowing you are having a tough time trying to find a job? So how the hell could you be happy for that friend at that point in time? If you put it like that, let me tell you, I would definitely want to hear it. I despise people who try to 'spare' my feelings and tippy toe around me. That would make me feel like even more of a loser. Your example is like saying that my friends shouldn't tell me about getting engaged when I'm single, winning the lottery when I'm broke or being pregnant when I'm childless. No, I want to know when things are going great for my friends. Believe it or not, it cheers me up and gives me hope. And I have been dateless surrounded by friends with better luck and the one thing to do at those time is to ask for their tricks and learn from them. Not wallow in self-pity. After all, the universe doesn't revolve around me.
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