metalcrusade Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Ok, so before I begin, I need to let people know that I am a man of faith (Christian), so you may see ideas/perspectives/values based on them as I write. Anyways, I finally met a LOCAL beautiful girl on myspace about 6 months ago. We started talking and we basically hit it off right away and she put me on her top 8 (yay). So did I. Anyways, me, being 23 years old and never having any luck with women, decided I was going to visit her at work 3 days after I met her online. She was shocked yet pleasantly surprised. We talked some more, then a few days later I asked her out on a date. She said ok but I have to bring my twin sister along. So I found a friend to make it a double date. Of course my friend didn't care he just went for me. And the twin sister didn't really mind that he didn't care. Whatever....anyways, I kept seeing her a bit after that and we talked online a lot and discovered we have lots in common. We are both Christians, both virgins (till marriage hopefully), we both love metal, we both love a lot of different things (like thunderstorms and crap like that). You get the point. So eventually I asked her to be my g/f, which made her happy. After a while, she slowly started to open up to me. She was the first to kiss me, hold my hand, cuddle, all that stuff. I continued to bring her to nice places and treat her really well. I brought her flowers and a necklace. Basically, she says she was more than happy with me. But then I realized over time that she was doing little things that were adding up to make me realize she says she loves me, but rarely proves it. I've told her subtlety and blatantly that I want to spend time with her. But she seems to always have some reason why she can't. She seems to be happy with the idea of having a boyfriend, but she doesn't really do things for me. I know it sounds selfish, but if a girl says she loves you, wouldn't she make excuses to find time to be with you? And it seems like I always have to be the one to ask, and MAYBE, if she's not doing anything, she'll visit me. She hardly ever looks me in the eye when we talk, and I see her around her friends. She talks more, even gets a bit physical (non-sexually) like slapping and wrestling with them. She's constantly obsessing about her twin sister. She's told me several times she means everything to her. Her sister loves her back but not the same extent. I really do think she loves me, but she doesn't WANT me. When I ask her to see her, I'm always afraid she is going to say no. Such as... "So what are you doing tonight/tomorrow?" "Well, I was going to get my ears peirced with my friend." "Oh, my parents are coming home and they are going to want to see me." "I don't feel good.", "Oh I have to do this or that"... you know, STUFF she could do any time, but maybe once a week if I'm lucky I see her. She doesn't realize how much it hurts me when she does that. Some people respond to someone saying they love you. Some people respond to acts of service, or gifts. Or physical touch. All those things are good, but the only way to really PROVE you love me is by WANTING to spend time with me. If you FAIL to realize that, you FAIL to truly love me. She has failed so many times, yet I have so much patience because I see so much in her. She thinks that texting/messaging me, " I love you, muah!" is good enough. NO! If you meant it, you would show it. The other day was the last straw where we didn't have a conversation for about a week, so I confronted her on it and then she called me up and we talked for a bit. After having a decent conversation for about an hour and a half, I asked her what she was doing tomorrow? I couldn't believe what she said next. "Well, I'm not sure...I'm supposed to go over Anthony's house to print out some tickets for Ozzfest and I haven't seen him for more than 2 weeks. But I don't really want to." So I told her well then we should do something. She goes, "Well, if it doesn't happen then I'll call you." Next day, I get no phone call (what did I expect?) I didn't much of it until I got home and I see her myspace with her telling her friend Eric that she could hang out at 4:30. I was so pissed, I punched the wall. WTF? And then I gave her vibes that I wasn't happy, and she called me and I confronted her on it. She gave me more excuses. So I lost a lot of respect for her after that. Since then, we've talked more but the things she says basically shows me that she is immature, self-centered, and doesn't care about my feelings. I would give her the world, but she has her friends and her twin sister. She doesn't NEED me. And a guy wants to know he is needed. So, I'm seriously thinking about breaking up because she hasn't learned. And she is so stubborn. I truly love her so much, but it hurts me when she doesn't reciprocate. Does anyone feel me? I haven't broke up with her yet because I'm testing her right now. I sent her a series of text messages basically calling her out on how she never spends time with me or calls me willingly. For God sakes, she is a girl, she should be complaining that I DON'T do this stuff. After talking with one of my best friends, he says to just ignore her for a few days...to see if she really truly loves and cares for me. BELIEVE ME, I HATE the game and I don't want to have to do this, but I am. And the fact she completely ignored the questions I asked her and sending me text messages like nothing ever happened, makes me want to give her the silent treatment even more until she opens her eyes. I have no hostility towards her, but I am very disappointed with her. Does anyone feel me?
norajane Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Truth is, she doesn't love you, and she's not much interested in spending time with you. I don't think you need to 'test' her. She's already proven that she's not into you. Why continue to waste your time feeling unwanted when there are other girls out there? She's hardly the only one to choose from.
popperstrike Posted August 20, 2007 Posted August 20, 2007 Truth is, she doesn't love you, and she's not much interested in spending time with you. I don't think you need to 'test' her. She's already proven that she's not into you. Why continue to waste your time feeling unwanted when there are other girls out there? She's hardly the only one to choose from. I agree, but saying straight foward that she doesnt love him was kinda harsh...but I guess it sounds true. Dude, there are plenty of more girls out there and if she isnt worth it if she is lying to you like this. She might have been interested in you before but now she clearly doesn't, just move on. Also, how long ago was it you met her on myspace...In my opinion, relationships that start on myspace like that, especially at that pace aren't gonna last long. Sure alot of ppl flirt on myspace and stuff, I did that too but, maybe thats all she wanted...an online friend not a myspace friend turning into a reality-relationship friend...you get what I mean?
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