mom21 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 So i've been dating this guy for almost 4 months - we're both divorced with kids. Things are great. All went quickly - including the "L" word - much time spent together, future plans made, etc. But then around 3 months, reality hit, work started suffering, etc. He grew a bit distant, but asured me that all feeling were the same and has no problem committing to a trip in December. But now all of the love and "mush" have all but disappeared. He assures that things are good, and wants to work on the relationship with the kids, etc. Sex has become predominantly initiated by me. Just writing this i feel like "WAKE UP MOM" he's so over me, but when we're together it still feels right. Actions vs. words. Any advice? He's great guy and i'm hoping to not have to end things, but what can i say to help him understand where i am - and how HURT iam???
whichwayisup Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 It actually sounds like the 'honeymoon' stage is over (3 months) and now it's becoming a 'real' relationship, not just focussed around sex and fun stuff... Tell him exactly what you said here! That you feel the love and mush is slipping away and is disappearing. And that you feel you're the one who is intiating sex most of the time. The little things to look for, when he spends time with you, is he attentive at all? Or is it more or less now focussed on the kids and family blending, daily chores, routine stuff? ASK him if the "L" word freaked him out....And, be honest about all that you're feeling, what you're worrying about...Don't hold back. Then, see what he says and hopefully together you two can work through it all.
Author mom21 Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 Thanks - he IS attentive when we're together - though my gut is telling me that he's not into it the way he was. And HE was the one who was initiaiting everything in the beginning - time together, big plans, etc. Then, as soon as I caved and was willing to call him "BF" and accept the "GF" term, it's like he's become complacent. So . . . to trust his words or trust my gut feeling?
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