kunfused Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Have known a man for a long time as a friend. Recently (about 3 months ago) he found out I was getting a divorce. I had been trying to get ahold of him a couple times to chat and catch up. He is not super attractive, but very very kind. Any way, long story short we "hooked" up and things got super hot and heavy pretty quickly and then all of the sudden he has backed off. This is the latest email I received from him: (my name), I am going to reply to this, however it might be cut short. Busy here in (out of state, working). I am all about enjoying Life now. Doing things for my daughter and for myself. I am not sure if my really ready for anyone else to be part of that. My life is OK.. I am Ok with where I live, my job, my house, my life style. However I am not OK with all that when it comes to others, and what they might think. I am not saying other are judging me. It just my own thoughts. I am also not about rushing into anything. Again, I am Ok with my life, it's about enjoying it. Do thinks you want to do, not what others want or think you should do. I have a good balance of things right now. I have a group of Friends that are married and a group that some are and some aren't. I think the two groups have different things going on in their life. And that really work with me. I think about how much stuff that my daughter does with sports. And that all works for me. I have a good balance of what I really want to do in Life. Maybe when (daughter) is out of school and move on in life. My world might shift. However I am not thinking about that. I am taking one day at a time. enjoying it as it goes.. Cutting it short busy.. What do you all think? help!!! kunfused
jcster Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Here's what I got out of the email: "I am all about enjoying Life" = I don't want a relationship. "However I am not OK with all that when it comes to others, and what they might think. I am not saying other are judging me. It just my own thoughts. I am also not about rushing into anything." = I feel bad because you might think that I led you on, but I still don't want a relationship.
Author kunfused Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 jcster, I think you are right. I think my eyes were just blinded because it seemed to be such a good thing. I am going for no communication right now - I did send an email back to his that I posted in the first thread.... basically stating that it didn't sound like he really knew what he wanted and that I wasn't in a "rush" for anything serious right now either. If we were both free and could hook up once in awhile great, and that a phone call or text here and there would also be nice.... Mistake? Why do you think he seemed so "into" it at first and then changed his feelings?
daphne Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 If you said you were ok for a hookup every once in a while, I think you're making yourself a doormat. You won't be able to help but get your feelings involved. We're not made that way. You may not be ready for something serious, but I wouldn't go the fwb route either. I have known only one woman in my life that was ok with that. But she ate men alive so that's not very healthy either. His email was to let himself off the hook. I'd let him off too and stop seeing him. It would only hurt your self esteem when eh doesn't come around, and you've already got another failed relationship to deal with. Heal from that, then when you're ready look for a real relationship. This isn't it.
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