Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 You saying this has caused me to think about it too. And youre right. You NEVER meet someone when you are looking or desperate or unhappy. I have to disagree with this part. The personals wouldn't be there and prospering if people didn't have to go looking. You go looking for a car when you want one, don't you? You don't wait for a car to find you, right? I don't get why people think there's something wrong with looking. It reminds me of this singles bar I went to a year ago. I hadn't been to one of these in a decade or so and everyone was a lot younger than me. It was funny watching everyone. They were all standing around and everyone was looking non-chalant like they were just there to kill time. But you could tell just by their body language and watching their eyes that they were hoping to meet somebody. But they felt they had to look like they weren't. It looked ridiculous watching a huge room full of people doing this. That's a game you play when you're young (I'm talking 20's here). When you're older, no one cares...if you're looking, you say so.....if someone has a problem with that.....that's their problem. See? Life DOES get a little simpler as you get older! lol Of course this doesn't mean you should be desperate and you definately should have your own life. I believe you should ALWAYS have your own life,whether you're dating someone or not. But I don't believe that you should expect someone to randomly fall in your lap....and that they will happen to be someone you're attracted to and click with personality-wise. Sorry, the odds are too great--at least for some of us who are rather particular anyway.
AriaIncognito Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I don't know, I have to agree to disagree here. I am "particular" as well. I seem to be quite selective when choosing someone to date, but once I do choose one, it's usually something that lasts. And again, I've never met them when I've actively been looking. Never have a met someone from the dating sites. Sure, you do go shopping for cars and clothes and whatnot but I don't know, I think when you are shopping emotionally, it's a lot different than shopping materially...
Author uniqueone Posted August 23, 2007 Author Posted August 23, 2007 I don't know, I have to agree to disagree here. I am "particular" as well. I seem to be quite selective when choosing someone to date, but once I do choose one, it's usually something that lasts. And again, I've never met them when I've actively been looking. Never have a met someone from the dating sites. Sure, you do go shopping for cars and clothes and whatnot but I don't know, I think when you are shopping emotionally, it's a lot different than shopping materially... And, being that you are particular, how do you happen to meet someone randomly that fits what you're looking for without looking?
Ssheena Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Unless Aria, you and I are holding out for "the old fashioned way" and nowadays people do the personal ads to cut to the chase. I just, and I've tried, don't have the attitude to do the personal ads. I've met people before first just on the internet and via chatting and they have been great to talk/write with but then when I have met them in person they aren't what they have portrayed themselves to be. I have told a few of my friends to keep me in mind if they meet a nice single guy that they think might mesh with me but I'm so cynical these days. I figure I'll meet one when I'm doing something I like....like bashing through a mogel field, or on my snowboard, or playing tennis or drinking massive amounts of margs and getting goofy. Maybe this winter or next I'll go back up to <huge ski resort in Co> and teach skiing or boarding. There are tons more guys than girls up there (hey, I can get you a gig singing... we can tag team - lol) and girls that can ski/ride well are in short supply - especially older women... hmm.. I'm ready now! When I read that reply, I thought, Aria is particular. Me not so. Pulse - check. Over 18 - check. ...
AriaIncognito Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 And, being that you are particular, how do you happen to meet someone randomly that fits what you're looking for without looking? Well it can't really be all that "random" if you plan it by looking lol. You just weed through people in person like you would on paper. I like these things about him, i dont like these things about him, etc. The last guy I dated was probably the closest thing to what I'd consider what I'm truly looking for and I just randomly started talking to him in my singles group one day. Sometimes you just click with people. It doesn't happen every day, you can go months or even years between people. But if you want someone that you truly will want to be with, then I think it's worth the wait.
AriaIncognito Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Unless Aria, you and I are holding out for "the old fashioned way" and nowadays people do the personal ads to cut to the chase. I just, and I've tried, don't have the attitude to do the personal ads. I've met people before first just on the internet and via chatting and they have been great to talk/write with but then when I have met them in person they aren't what they have portrayed themselves to be. ........ When I read that reply, I thought, Aria is particular. Me not so. Pulse - check. Over 18 - check. ... I dont really care if I meet someone the old fashioned way or not, I just care that it's for the right reasons. I don't want to meet someone if i'm in a bad emotional place. Like right now, I should NOT be looking, and I know that, and I'm basically not looking. Eventually, you get over the reason you shouldn't be looking, and then well you just are used to doing the single thing and you get happier and then BAM, men notice you. I am definitely particular. I am looking for someone to spend my life with. I'm not really looking to make a huge compromise on what I feel I deserve. I've had men come really close, if not totally be what I want. Sometimes, they just don't want you back as much lol. One day, I'll get the right mix of all of it. Until then, I shouldn't worry about when or how or why. Inadvertantly I'll have days where I will worry, but logically, I know I shouldn't, and I know it will happen when I'm actually ready to accept a new love into my heart, and not a moment sooner.
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