DateAnalyzer Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I realized that I always was available when a woman called or if I wasn't available at the moment she called, I would always return her call the same day. Is this something that can turn off a woman??
maynard Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 yup. for sure. have a life. she has to know that you arent going to be there for her every call and everytime she needs something. be a little mysterious. dont be needy
Author DateAnalyzer Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 yup. for sure. have a life. she has to know that you arent going to be there for her every call and everytime she needs something. be a little mysterious. dont be needy I swear I'm going to be 43 before I get this dating thing figured out
maynard Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I swear I'm going to be 43 before I get this dating thing figured out knowing is only half the battle too. the last two days ive had to slap myself from sending random "i miss you" text messages to my girl. i had a moment of drunken weakness last night though, lol. i have a thread all about it somewhere. i think its ideal if its her that always wanting to call you, but you have to give a reason for her to want to call i trying real hard to just lean back and let things happen. if you have an impulse to do something, its probably wrong. btw, i didnt discover this by myself. PM me if you want to know
Road Rage Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I `m over 50 DateAnalyzer and still working on it. Alone this weekend so I have to work on a few gliches in my system:laugh:
maynard Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I `m over 50 DateAnalyzer and still working on it. Alone this weekend so I have to work on a few gliches in my system:laugh:it seems to be the nice guys that have this problem. the jerks who dont care dont have to work on it...ironically
maynard Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 btw, date analyzer, my thread is pretty much on this subject. it may be helpful
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 DA, the problem is when you act busy when you are not, people eventually pick up that you are faking and that's even worse than being available. But it's true that being busy will make people want you more. For years I had barely any friends and then a year ago I got a job that keeps me busy 24/7 and also got involved in some hobbies on the side. Suddenly, I constantly get invited to do things and 4 out of 5 times I just don't have the time and I tell them that. I actually thought this will make them go away but the opposite has happened. It's like when I end up making it 1 out of 5 times, they get excited and try to be funny, entertaining etc around me. It is weird but I have recently said that now I have too many friends. I get invited to 4 different things every weekend. Before when I was always available and desparate for friends, when I would go to anything whenever I was invited (it wasn't often), answer all their calls etc, noone found me interesting. I think the same would apply for dating. But the key is to really be busy rather than just pretending that you are.
amber1 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I wouldn't always be available, but don't make yourself so unavailable that it makes a woman think you are completely uninterested. To keep her interested and guessing, I would let your phone go to voicemail sometimes. Sometimes call her back same day and sometimes the next day. I wouldn't recommend waiting too long to call her back or it will just piss her off.
Nightlady Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I'd just be myself, and be available if I was available and I wanted to see the person. I don't like to play games or have them played with me. I realize I may be a minority with this view and I can't say it has gotten me a lot of great results over my dating years but all I care about is that one person who truely appreciates me and wants to be with me.
daphne Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 There's a fine line between not being completely available in order to avoid being taken for granted/creating attraction and the extreme of playing hard to get. Play too hard to get, and you'll either only get women with low self esteem who make bad girlfriends and will suck you dry, or you'll scare off the girls that aren't into massive games. Dating is a game, but go too far and you'll attract the wrong kind.
oppath Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Being less available doesn't mean not answering calls, letting it go to voicemail, and all that jazz to make it falsely appear you have a life. Being less available means you have kung fu on Mondays, softball on Wednesdays, and poker with the guys on Saturday nights. It means you are a busy person with a full life and CAN'T be available all the time because you have other things going on. So when a girl calls, "I can't talk long, on my way to do xyz" or "I'm going to be busy Monday and Wednesday, but it sounds like we are both free on Thursday." If you AREN'T busy and don't live a full life, trying to appear unavailable isn't going to help you with women. It's not going to increase attraction. they are going to think "this guy doesn't have anything going on in his life to explain him not answering or calling me back so it's obvious he isn't interested or lacks the confidence to be himself." You actually need to be unavailable some times, not pretend to be.
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