narcissist2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I belong to the South Asian culture and my parents have finalized the person I am to marry, thinking its an arranged marriage. However, it is not. I have been dating that guy for almost 4 months. My boyfriend has told me I have every quality he wanted in a wife and would like to get settled with me, however he is not in love with me at this point. Whilst we were dating - his parents really liked me and talked to mine without his knowledge. Well we did not care much at that point, because we were thinking it will take forever. However, a few days ago I found out that the parents had agreed. We talked right after that, we were okay and calm and welcomed each other to our families. However, his parents started pressurizing him to get married right away, and that freaked him out. That hit my ego. Now either I dont get married to him or make him wait for the longest possible time.
Mezzi Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Hi narcissist2007, I think you really need to go back to your first thread found here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127196/ and refresh your memory as to why this is a bad idea. Loveless marriage=no marriage at all. You are in America now, tell your parents and his parents that this would most likely be an unfulfilling marriage for you. Dont tell me you are having a dowry too? I think you believe this guy is the only sure way of your marrying for sometime. There are plenty of fish in the sea and although I cannot tell you when you are going to hook the fish; I can tell you that this unambitious guy is not the right one. If its a situation where you absolutely, positively cannot get out (which I doubt) then I would put the best foot forward and try and condition your mind towards the impending wedding. Often parents want to pass of their trash in the form of their sons to women who really deserve much better. Its just an oppurtunity for some families to get some nice dowry items and some reputation. The man has told you point blank that he doesnt love you. I dont see what else is it you need to hear. The marriage primarily means YOU AND HIM. You have some serious decisions to make, I hope you make the right ones.
Author narcissist2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 There is no dowry involved. But I just found out that he told his parents not to send me any flowers or any presents being their to be daughter in law. I am really pissed off.
VIP Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 It just makes it so much easier for you to break up with him.
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