No Decent Men ever Approach (along with my rant on rude people)

[oppath]

Now this is the type I would avoid. The ones who think they're doing me a favor by talking to me. The ones who think I'm in awe of the fact that they're gracing me with their acknowledgement.

 

No, these are the ones I purposely avoid...and the funny thing about that is.......that my avoiding them actually DOES lead to this type pursuing further.

 

I can't help but take a little offense to this, so let me explain, as there was NO ARROGANCE IN MY POST...

 

I'm not doing anyone any favors by talking to them, I enjoy meeting new people and having conversations, particularly good ones. When someone approaches me and engages me in conversation, and I enjoy it, they make my day, and I walk away thinking "that interaction was really cool." It has nothing to do with thinking I'm some gift to women and they should be thankful for talking to me. I enjoy intelligent people who are articulate and funny, and if that person is an attractive woman, even better. These interactions don't have to have the intent of leading to a date or hitting on the person. I approach people because I am friendly and enjoy friendly interactions. When people approach me with similar motives, yes, it makes my day.

 

Why the bitter attitude towards men in this sense? I understand the rude behavior you described in your original post; I get annoyed at those things too. But you seem to imply that if a guy approaches you and talks to you and you have a good interaction...if he doesn't ask for a date, it makes you more wary when guys approach you? I fail to understand that.

 

I enjoy it when I can meet strangers. I speak to them for the sake of speaking to someone new, maybe learning something new, hearing a joke or an interesting story. I like to think that I am interesting enough that when I walk away from that interaction, the other person thinks "I really enjoyed that. Meeting that person was a lot of fun" and they walk away more happy for the experience. Motives, dating, sex...those things aren't really part of the equation.

 

But bottom line, is I am intelligent attractive and articulate, and trust me on this: when I approach a stranger and authentically commit to interact with them, being my genuine self (no cheesy lines, just finding something interesting to talk about)...chances are, the first thing they think is "is this for real? Is this person actually talking to me?" That's what I think when people approach me; I'm curious to see where it goes not because of that persons qualities (appears attractive), but because it is uncommon to have genuine interactions, and my interactions are genuine. I like meeting new people. I enjoy being social. I'll approach men, women, ugly women, handsome men, and attractive women. I'm doing no-one a favor, but all I can say is that when someone engages me in that way, I walk away feeling better about myself, more confident, and it truly does make my day.

 

I'm curious: if a guy does approach you and doesn't use cheesy pickup lines, you have a genuine, fun conversation, and he doesn't ask you out...how is that a bad thing? Disappointing? Maybe, but can't you view it as "wow, that was really fun. I enjoyed that." and walk away feeling good about yourself?

 

If I'm talking to a woman, I'm not necessarily talking to her with the intent to hit on her or ask her out. I'd like to think we can enjoy a conversation. If I enjoyed the conversation, MAYBE I'll ask for her number. Or maybe I'll just walk away thinking "I enjoyed that. That was fun."

[Trialbyfire]

I like meeting new people. I enjoy being social.

That's a good place to be oppath. I do talk to strangers to socialize but in all honesty, I don't approach men first. If they approach me in a non-creepy way to be social, it can be fun.

 

This is probably why people approach me for directions. While it can be annoying sometimes, on a grumpy day "Do I look like a walking GPS, especially if I can't even find my directional way out of my home?", in every instance, if I'm able to help, I will. I've also found people will help me if I'm lost, regardless if I've asked or not. Perhaps I have that "Frig, I'm lost and helpless" look on my face. Karma, I guess.

[oppath]

It took me a long time to talk to strangers. Now I love it. I went to college where it was encouraged to crash parties (the type of college where if you hosted the party, you bought the booze, no $5 at the door PERIOD) and no-one cared if a random person walked off the street. And it wasn't a party school!

 

If I'm walking down the street, and I see a party in the apartment across from me and people are on the balcony having a good time, I'll yell up "it seems like a lot of fun up there, mind if I crash?" No-one has ever said no, and as long as I don't sit in the corner not talking to anyone, and talk to guys as much as girls, I walk away with new friends. It's only creepy if you are a creep.

[uniqueone]

I can't help but take a little offense to this, so let me explain, as there was NO ARROGANCE IN MY POST...

 

I'm not doing anyone any favors by talking to them, I enjoy meeting new people and having conversations, particularly good ones. When someone approaches me and engages me in conversation, and I enjoy it, they make my day, and I walk away thinking "that interaction was really cool." It has nothing to do with thinking I'm some gift to women and they should be thankful for talking to me. I enjoy intelligent people who are articulate and funny, and if that person is an attractive woman, even better. These interactions don't have to have the intent of leading to a date or hitting on the person. I approach people because I am friendly and enjoy friendly interactions. When people approach me with similar motives, yes, it makes my day.

 

Why the bitter attitude towards men in this sense? I understand the rude behavior you described in your original post; I get annoyed at those things too. But you seem to imply that if a guy approaches you and talks to you and you have a good interaction...if he doesn't ask for a date, it makes you more wary when guys approach you? I fail to understand that.

 

I enjoy it when I can meet strangers. I speak to them for the sake of speaking to someone new, maybe learning something new, hearing a joke or an interesting story. I like to think that I am interesting enough that when I walk away from that interaction, the other person thinks "I really enjoyed that. Meeting that person was a lot of fun" and they walk away more happy for the experience. Motives, dating, sex...those things aren't really part of the equation.

 

But bottom line, is I am intelligent attractive and articulate, and trust me on this: when I approach a stranger and authentically commit to interact with them, being my genuine self (no cheesy lines, just finding something interesting to talk about)...chances are, the first thing they think is "is this for real? Is this person actually talking to me?" That's what I think when people approach me; I'm curious to see where it goes not because of that persons qualities (appears attractive), but because it is uncommon to have genuine interactions, and my interactions are genuine. I like meeting new people. I enjoy being social. I'll approach men, women, ugly women, handsome men, and attractive women. I'm doing no-one a favor, but all I can say is that when someone engages me in that way, I walk away feeling better about myself, more confident, and it truly does make my day.

 

I'm curious: if a guy does approach you and doesn't use cheesy pickup lines, you have a genuine, fun conversation, and he doesn't ask you out...how is that a bad thing? Disappointing? Maybe, but can't you view it as "wow, that was really fun. I enjoyed that." and walk away feeling good about yourself?

 

If I'm talking to a woman, I'm not necessarily talking to her with the intent to hit on her or ask her out. I'd like to think we can enjoy a conversation. If I enjoyed the conversation, MAYBE I'll ask for her number. Or maybe I'll just walk away thinking "I enjoyed that. That was fun."

 

I don't get offended if men flirt with me and don't ask me out. I was stating a reason how some women feel and why they might not talk to men who flirt with them in the future. I used to feel that way. I've known other women who feel that way. Because of that, I was explaining to him that it's a possible reason. That's not to infer that that is how I currently feel or interact.

 

I no longer feel bad if those conversations don't lead anywhere. That was in the past. I'm totally different now. Back then, I would be looking at guys with that wide-eyed look hoping they were interested, hoping they'd talk to me, maybe ask for my number, etc.... And paradoxically, because of that partner-searching that I was doing, it made me more shy around them.

 

Now when I go out, I couldn't care less. Half the time, I have messed up hair and am all sweaty after working out....and if I'm in a talkative mood, I'll talk to anyone. If I'm not, I won't. But my talking to others isn't affected by if they're a man...or more so, a single man. If I feel like talking, it doesn't matter who they are.

 

In other words, I no longer have on my "I'm looking for a man" outlook that I had at one time.

 

However, while any of these conversations are nice...including with single men, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that they "make my day".

 

As for the arrogance thing....sorry if I misread your post. Glad to know that you're not that way. By the way though, I wasn't just honing in on arrogant men. I would have said the same about arrogant women too.

[Storyrider]

I love it when a guy gives me eye contact or a smile when I'm driving, so long as he is cute. I drive a minivan though, so I think that deters many. Lol.

[halfarock]

I love it when a guy gives me eye contact or a smile when I'm driving, so long as he is cute. I drive a minivan though, so I think that deters many. Lol.

I never even think of flirting with anyone driving a minivan.

[halfarock]

SOMETIMES a guy who's not a freak will start talking to a woman in public.......maybe even do a little flirting. She'll flirt back. Then she finishes her business (shopping, for example) and goes to her car and leaves.

 

The woman thinks to herself: "Hmmm...that guy was pretty cute.....and he seemed interested...... I wished he would have asked me out or something. What was the point of him flirting like that, I wonder. I swear, I don't know why I bother to flirt back with these guys. All they do it for is an ego boost. Next time a guy does that, I'm just going to ignore him. I don't need this."

 

I don’t think that this is generally true at all. And not only in the brief encounter mentioned. Many of my girlfriends began as just some woman that I’d see around, that I’d flirt with, talk with, smile at. If someone makes your day often enough…

[lino]

I can't help but take a little offense to this, so let me explain, as there was NO ARROGANCE IN MY POST...

 

I'm not doing anyone any favors by talking to them, I enjoy meeting new people and having conversations, particularly good ones. When someone approaches me and engages me in conversation, and I enjoy it, they make my day, and I walk away thinking "that interaction was really cool." It has nothing to do with thinking I'm some gift to women and they should be thankful for talking to me. I enjoy intelligent people who are articulate and funny, and if that person is an attractive woman, even better. These interactions don't have to have the intent of leading to a date or hitting on the person. I approach people because I am friendly and enjoy friendly interactions. When people approach me with similar motives, yes, it makes my day.

 

Why the bitter attitude towards men in this sense? I understand the rude behavior you described in your original post; I get annoyed at those things too. But you seem to imply that if a guy approaches you and talks to you and you have a good interaction...if he doesn't ask for a date, it makes you more wary when guys approach you? I fail to understand that.

 

I enjoy it when I can meet strangers. I speak to them for the sake of speaking to someone new, maybe learning something new, hearing a joke or an interesting story. I like to think that I am interesting enough that when I walk away from that interaction, the other person thinks "I really enjoyed that. Meeting that person was a lot of fun" and they walk away more happy for the experience. Motives, dating, sex...those things aren't really part of the equation.

 

But bottom line, is I am intelligent attractive and articulate, and trust me on this: when I approach a stranger and authentically commit to interact with them, being my genuine self (no cheesy lines, just finding something interesting to talk about)...chances are, the first thing they think is "is this for real? Is this person actually talking to me?" That's what I think when people approach me; I'm curious to see where it goes not because of that persons qualities (appears attractive), but because it is uncommon to have genuine interactions, and my interactions are genuine. I like meeting new people. I enjoy being social. I'll approach men, women, ugly women, handsome men, and attractive women. I'm doing no-one a favor, but all I can say is that when someone engages me in that way, I walk away feeling better about myself, more confident, and it truly does make my day.

 

I'm curious: if a guy does approach you and doesn't use cheesy pickup lines, you have a genuine, fun conversation, and he doesn't ask you out...how is that a bad thing? Disappointing? Maybe, but can't you view it as "wow, that was really fun. I enjoyed that." and walk away feeling good about yourself?

 

If I'm talking to a woman, I'm not necessarily talking to her with the intent to hit on her or ask her out. I'd like to think we can enjoy a conversation. If I enjoyed the conversation, MAYBE I'll ask for her number. Or maybe I'll just walk away thinking "I enjoyed that. That was fun."

 

 

This is a good attitude to have I think