uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 This is sort of a rant...... At lunchtime I go walking through this office complex. There's no sidewalks so I have to walk in the street. A lot of times, I'm catching up on phone calls. An unbelieveable number of times, a car will slow down and ask me for directions. They can see I'm on the phone but that doesn't matter to them. Since there are about 100 buildings in the office complex and each building has about 20 offices in them, we're talking a lot of little offices. Since none of them are big offices, it's impossible for me to know what offices are where. So I never have any idea where the office they're looking for is. Yesterday I got yelled to two different times. I was on the phone both times. I ignored them. I mean, c'mon, this is getting ridiculous. I feel like wearing a sign on me that says "don't ask me directions". Geez, do they think I'm going to whip out Yahoo Maps or or have a portable GPS or something? Today, I wasn't even gone 5 minutes before I noticed a car out of the corner of my eye slowing down. (Here we go again, I thought.......) Then I heard: "Hey....HEY!.....Miss....Hey....Hey Miss!!!!....." I didn't look over at them and kept talking on the phone. I was leaving a voicemail message at a business at the time and I sure wasn't going to interrupt my message just to talk to them. Fortunately, there was a line of cars behind them so they finally drove on. I walked some more, went to the gas station and walked back. At least a half hour had gone by during that time. As I'm walking back, I see a car slowing down out of the corner of my eye. Once again, I'm talking on the phone (this time to a coworker). Then I heard; "Hey....HEY!......Miss...Hey....Hey Miss!!!!!....." The voice was the same one as before. This told me that this was no guy looking for directions -- because in a half hours time he definately could have found someone else to ask....or gone to the gas station. I didn't look over at him and kept talking on the phone. Then he yelled: "B!tch!" and drove off. This is what I get for just taking a walk. I have to admit, I have this knack for people coming up to me....I've sort of gotten used to it. But here's the problem....why is it that the guys who approach are always the weirdos??? The decent guys are never doing the approaching...it's always the freaks. And thanks to my luck, the freaks always find me. (along with everyone else who's lost). You know I think this is why women become leary of men approaching. Because it's most often the weirdos who do and never the normal ones.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 Oh hey, I want to add to this something else...... SOMETIMES a guy who's not a freak will start talking to a woman in public.......maybe even do a little flirting. She'll flirt back. Then she finishes her business (shopping, for example) and goes to her car and leaves. The woman thinks to herself: "Hmmm...that guy was pretty cute.....and he seemed interested...... I wished he would have asked me out or something. What was the point of him flirting like that, I wonder. I swear, I don't know why I bother to flirt back with these guys. All they do it for is an ego boost. Next time a guy does that, I'm just going to ignore him. I don't need this." And that right there, is another reason why women don't talk to guys who approach them.
sofakingmad Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 And that right there, is another reason why women don't talk to guys who approach them. and that is why i have never approached a woman in public or anywhere else to try my line on them or flirt with them. what's the point? catch 22.
Road Rage Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 uniqueone Normal guys just don`t like to fight ten to one odds against them. If it is in fact odds of ten to one. It seems at least a hundred to one:laugh: Which explains why I am on LS tonight instead of out there somewhere. I have had my fill of it all. That process of constantly having to make the initiative of approaching women and getting shot down. Enough is enough. Ain`t gonna study that crap no more. I`ll just leave it to serendepity:) Or however it`s spelled:o But I feel your pain, some women just are weirdo magnets, don`t know why:(
SoHotZanzibar Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I have to agree. I never liked going out drinking and being stuck in those crowded places. I am more of a one on one person.
oppath Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Well uniqueone, how many times have those perfectly nice normal guys approached a woman, flirted, had an engaging conversation, and asked them out only to be shot down? Then they go home and think "why did she act so interested if she weren't?" Or "why didn't she reveal she had a boyfriend during our 1/2 hour conversation?" Or maybe they get the phone number but the girl never commits to a date!!!! I approach women all the time. I'd like to think that if I don't ask them out, it doesn't ruin their day or ability to trust men who approach. I honestly like to think that if a good looking, social, articulate man such as my self approaches and engages them regardless of asking them out, that I've made their day. I'm not talking about cat calls or asking for directions -- I'm talking genuine conversation -- but why does it have to lead to a date? Don't underestimate how difficult it is to approach, engage a conversation, sustain the conversation, ask for a number/date, arrange the date, and repeat by engaging a conversation, sustaining it, asking for another date, etc. Guys do a lot of work along the way. If anything, women need to do a better job of displaying a green light. I am a nice normal guy, and I approach all comers, men and women, attractive women and non attractive (to me) women. From my experiences, women who are single are perhaps so taken aback, thinking "holy ****, is this really happening?" that they don't commit to the interaction, whereas girls with boyfriends think "I'm hot stuff, look at me, off the market but I'm still desirable" and want to talk. And if decent men aren't approaching, really, it does come down to venue. And luck. And some of those not so decent men probably are quite decent, maybe just having a bad day, and some of the apparently decent ones are cheaters, abusers, etc. I'm just saying...
jcster Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Why oh why won't guys realize that the street is not a venue to talk to women. If I'm walking down the street - I'm going somewhere - I don't want to be accosted by guys. Gentlemen - if you see a cute girl on the street - sorry...just keep going - it will save us all a lot of pain.
sofakingmad Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 oh really. and where may we gentlemen grace the opposite persuasion with our flirtasiousness? the library, a play? a sporting event? a bar? what if a man doesn't go to any of these places? sorry but there is no reason why a guy can't approach someone on the street.
johan Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 One thing I've noticed is that women are very unlikely to give you their number if you follow them into fitting rooms and ask for it there. It seems that there is a time and place for that kind of thing. While the time might be right, that is definitely not the place.
yergawd Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Well uniqueone, how many times have those perfectly nice normal guys approached a woman, flirted, had an engaging conversation, and asked them out only to be shot down? Then they go home and think "why did she act so interested if she weren't?" Or "why didn't she reveal she had a boyfriend during our 1/2 hour conversation?" Or maybe they get the phone number but the girl never commits to a date!!!! Weirdos are usually created by women. Let's take a 100 'attrcative' woman sample. Lets say, conservatively 75% are not looking for a relationship because they are already involved or just not looking. You are now looking at a possible 25/100 that might want to meet someone. Already down to 3/4 shooting us down. Now let's add the 'b1tch sheild' (the shield a woman puts up because she is hit on all day and blows off everyone that comes colse to her.) Conservatively another 15%. Down to 10% or 1/10 who would even allow us the 'honor' of speaking to them. This doesn't account for those that we talk to that are filled with issues and insecurities. So a guy has the option of either getting the player mentality and hitting on every attractive woman and hoping that after talking to 1000 women maybe 100 are potential partners. Or the construction worker mentality. Thinking I dont have a shot in h3ll with these women so I'll just sit here and cat-call, knowing nothing will come out of it. Or be the sad loser that takes an hr to work up the nerve to say hi. IMO women have it easy when it comes to meeting guys. Just sit back sort through the 'weirdos' and choose. Sorry Cher, no pitty. I am glad I am done with the game, at least for now, hopefully for good. If anything, women need to do a better job of displaying a green light. Yep ... huh got a message message too short so...
Kamille Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Oh hey, I want to add to this something else...... SOMETIMES a guy who's not a freak will start talking to a woman in public.......maybe even do a little flirting. She'll flirt back. Then she finishes her business (shopping, for example) and goes to her car and leaves. The woman thinks to herself: "Hmmm...that guy was pretty cute.....and he seemed interested...... I wished he would have asked me out or something. What was the point of him flirting like that, I wonder. I swear, I don't know why I bother to flirt back with these guys. All they do it for is an ego boost. Next time a guy does that, I'm just going to ignore him. I don't need this." And that right there, is another reason why women don't talk to guys who approach them. What?!!! I enjoy the ego boost of random street flirting as much as any man, when it's done skillfully and at appropriate times. You know like musing at avocados at the fruit stand or commenting on movies. Guys, please, don't let this thread deter you!
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 What?!!! I enjoy the ego boost of random street flirting as much as any man, when it's done skillfully and at appropriate times. You know like musing at avocados at the fruit stand or commenting on movies. Guys, please, don't let this thread deter you! I'm not saying that women don't like it, I was giving a reason as to why some women won't talk to them. Personally, I don't look for a pickup so I'm not even thinking in that sense when a guy is talking to me. I take every conversation I encounter as just that--conversation.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 Now let's add the 'b1tch sheild' (the shield a woman puts up because she is hit on all day and blows off everyone that comes colse to her.) I think it's so funny that a lot of guys think women get hit on all day.
Kamille Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Ah ok! I must admit I was a bit thrown because I love random little interactions with people in the street... from the grandma sitting on a park bench to the cute guy at the café. I don't expect anything out of those encounters. Just a fun little moment that is what it is. And like everyone else, I don't always feel like being approached by people - which is why I just think it's funny when I try to chat up someone and they don't respond well (did you see the episode of Sex in the City where Carrie is trying to talk to a guy under pouring rain?). That guy speeding off calling you names was definitely not cool.
Kamille Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I think it's so funny that a lot of guys think women get hit on all day. Yeah! Like that is our main purpose in life. To be ornemental.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 I approach women all the time. I'd like to think that if I don't ask them out, it doesn't ruin their day or ability to trust men who approach. I honestly like to think that if a good looking, social, articulate man such as my self approaches and engages them regardless of asking them out, that I've made their day. From my experiences, women who are single are perhaps so taken aback, thinking "holy ****, is this really happening?" that they don't commit to the interaction.... Now this is the type I would avoid. The ones who think they're doing me a favor by talking to me. The ones who think I'm in awe of the fact that they're gracing me with their acknowledgement. No, these are the ones I purposely avoid...and the funny thing about that is.......that my avoiding them actually DOES lead to this type pursuing further.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 Yeah! Like that is our main purpose in life. To be ornemental. It's true....a lot of men (at least what I've seen on LS) seriously think that during the course of a woman's day, she is constantly getting hit on. They really have the belief that we just sit back and do nothing and all of these interesting, attractive men are just falling all over us.
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Sorry uniqueone but this topic is funny. Why any guy thinks he could do a drive-by and get a date or a connection with a woman, defeats me. It's one thing to chat up people as a form of socialization but to attempt to randomly hit up strangers for more, is believing that women are willing to hook up with strangers who might be kitten-killing hobbiests...
Kamille Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Now this is the type I would avoid. The ones who think they're doing me a favor by talking to me. The ones who think I'm in awe of the fact that they're gracing me with their acknowledgement. No, these are the ones I purposely avoid...and the funny thing about that is.......that my avoiding them actually DOES lead to this type pursuing further. These are the ones you avoid, really? The thing is, I mean I've never met Oppath but I can tell by his postings here that he is indeed an articulate man so I'll take his word for social and goodlooking. I much prefer being around confident (but not arrogant) people then blundering bundles of insecurity who approach me because they are trying to prove something to themselves. Truth? When an articulate, good looking man approaches me, it does make my day. Or at least the rest of that walk to wherever I am going. And I like to think that me responding with a smile and a little flirtation also makes his day. And I hardly think that makes me arrogant, more like it makes me a sexual human being. For me it's all in good fun and nobody really gets hurt by flirtatious little encounters. Plus, I find the more confortable and playful I am at those moments, the more enjoyable they are (and the better looking and socially articulate the approachers tend to be).
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 Sorry uniqueone but this topic is funny. Why any guy thinks he could do a drive-by and get a date or a connection with a woman, defeats me. It's one thing to chat up people as a form of socialization but to attempt to randomly hit up strangers for more, is believing that women are willing to hook up with strangers who might be kitten-killing hobbiests... I knew a guy who smiled at a woman driving alongside her on the highway. He ended up following her home and then asking her out. Oh yeah, THAT'S going to get a guy a date! Awhile back, I had a guy ring my doorbell at night and ask me out. He'd just moved in nearby recently and had seen me coming and going and found me attractive. I made excuses and turned him down. I found out later he was a serious alcoholic. A year later, he was in prison....for trying to strangle his girlfriend.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 These are the ones you avoid, really? The thing is, I mean I've never met Oppath but I can tell by his postings here that he is indeed an articulate man so I'll take his word for social and goodlooking. I much prefer being around confident (but not arrogant) people then blundering bundles of insecurity who approach me because they are trying to prove something to themselves. Truth? When an articulate, good looking man approaches me, it does make my day. Or at least the rest of that walk to wherever I am going. And I like to think that me responding with a smile and a little flirtation also makes his day. And I hardly think that makes me arrogant, more like it makes me a sexual human being. For me it's all in good fun and nobody really gets hurt by flirtatious little encounters. Plus, I find the more confortable and playful I am at those moments, the more enjoyable they are (and the better looking and socially articulate the approachers tend to be). I won't say it "makes my day". The reason being is that *I* make my day...not anyone else. I don't need their flattery to make my day. It might add some brief fun to my day, but that's all. However, if the person is arrogant, it doesn't add any fun to my day. I'm sorry but I sensed arrogance in his post.
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 I knew a guy who smiled at a woman driving alongside her on the highway. He ended up following her home and then asking her out. Oh yeah, THAT'S going to get a guy a date! Awhile back, I had a guy ring my doorbell at night and ask me out. He'd just moved in nearby recently and had seen me coming and going and found me attractive. I made excuses and turned him down. I found out later he was a serious alcoholic. A year later, he was in prison....for trying to strangle his girlfriend. This reminds me of an incident where this random guy attempted to get my phone number while driving beside me. It was just like an extended clip out of 2 fast 2 furious, where he would pursue no matter how quickly I dipped in and out of traffic. He finally gave up after a few refusals. Since it was during broad daylight, it didn't freak me out.
Author uniqueone Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 This reminds me of an incident where this random guy attempted to get my phone number while driving beside me. It was just like an extended clip out of 2 fast 2 furious, where he would pursue no matter how quickly I dipped in and out of traffic. He finally gave up after a few refusals. Since it was during broad daylight, it didn't freak me out. Whenever they try to drive beside me, I don't look over at them (I can see them out of the corner of my eye) and I take my foot off the gas and keep it off until they're gone. It gets rid of them.
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Whenever they try to drive beside me, I don't look over at them (I can see them out of the corner of my eye) and I take my foot off the gas and keep it off until they're gone. It gets rid of them. Cars are a hobby of mine. If it's a well-modified vehicle or an exotic, I have had discussions while driving.
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