Lostinthemess Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 So I'm in a hard place right now. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. About 9 months ago we got engaged. Seemed like everything was going good. Until few days ago... My (ex)fiance has alot of family problems. She has lived with 6 different family members throught her life. We have lived together for about 4 years now. Her father is an alcoholic, on his 6th wife, and lives about 1400 miles away. When we first met she hadn't talked to him for over a year and a half. He had gone to jail because he got in a fight with her brother and she called the cops to break it up and her father was on probation. At that time she was living with him. After that she moved. Then we met and dated for a few months . I told her at that time she needed to contact him to build some kind of relationship with him. Soon after she was going to visit him and her brother and grandparents a week out of the year, every year. Starting last year things started getting wierd. She would go up there and they would promise her the world. That they would buy her a condo, pay for schooling....etc. Well this year she went for a couple of weeks. Before she left she was looking for locations for us to get married. When she came back earlier this week, within an hour she decided we weren't "right" for each other and that she wants to move back to be with her family and find herself. She said she is confused and the "passion" and "Affection" is not there anymore. I know in lots of ways I am at fault. I never did anything wrong to her, but at times I wouldn't give her alot of attention and affection. I told her that I know I can change that, that I understand at times I was distant. She tells me she loves me deeply and cares for me more than anything, but questions if she is "in" love with me. I told her she needed to go. She says that she knows it could be the biggest mistake she has ever made and hopes we work out to be together. She said if she goes up there and realizes she made a mistake that she would hope she could come back. I told her I couldn't give her an answer because I don't know where I would be. I know she is going. She is set on that. I am just soo torn on what to do, feel, and hope for. I have given her alot of space since we had that talk. We live together and she isn't leaving for another week, so it makes it really hard. I have either been staying at a friends, or she has. She told me today, when we were home together for a few moments that she wants to call me alot, but knows it makes it harder. Now I just have a count-down to when she leaves and knowing that when she is finally gone the real pain comes in. In all my heart I want her to go up there and realize what we had was real and want to come back...I just know I can't expect that..I love her to death and I'm certain I want to spend my life with her...I'm dying inside. Whats your thoughts?
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