thejoker244 Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 So...I had been kinda seeing this girl a few months ago. we dated over the holidays briefly...things happened, and i ended up becoming interested. She had just gotten out of a relationship and wasnt ready for anything yet, and i was respectful of that. I finished up my schooling after the spring semester started, and we stayed in contact, talking nearly every day for hours and talking on the phone on the weekends. I sent her flowers on valentines day because i did care for her and wanted to do something nice. Apparently, some of the things i said made her feel like i expected a relationship to happen, so i respectfully explained that while i would like it to happen, i didnt expect anything, and just wanted to stay friends with her. We go out a few times after i graduate, see a movie, hang out, etc. We continue talking every day, even when she goes out of town for job training. The contact starts to dwindle down over a little time, but i realized that i was falling for her, and decided to let her know how i felt. I look at it like..if anything were to happen and i never got to say it..i would always regret it. So i told her..though probably not in the most appropriate place...ended up happening where she worked. I was all nervous about it, so im sure i looked like a huge dork. The thing is, she said she was fine with it, and wanted to continue going out and doing things. what a relief! However, shortly after, our contact seemed to stop all together. i would invite her out for drinks or to a party, to which she wouldnt respond, or would only respond to one of my friends. While it wasnt a big deal, i continued to try and talk to her every so often, and would call once in a while to see how she was. I sent her some flowers one day shortly after fathers day, just because i figured they would brighten her day. While she said she loved them, i didnt hear anything else for about two weeks. I tried to call a time or two over the next couple, and the last time she spoke to me on the phone, she sounded all together different. After that, it was a month since we spoke. On Wednesday, i decided that it had been a month, so i should maybe just send a text and see how she was doing. I said "just wanted to say hey and see how you were doing. you were like my best friend there a few months back, and i thank you for that. i'd love to hear from ya. i really miss talking to you". I expected at least a little something... what i did get kinda shocked me. i went to work, and when i came home, i checked my inbox. to my surprise, i had a response. the response was "who is this?". Okay...im dumbfounded...but i played along replying "uhh..dan? used to work with you..sent ya flowers a few months ago..we used to talk all the time?". The response i got back from that was "This isnt (her), this is (new guy). how can i help you?". I replied "im a friend of hers and havent heard from her in a while. just wanted to see how she was doing. if you arent her, how can i get in touch with her?". The response: "you cant get in touch with her, and i'd appreciate it if you didnt try to contact her again. not gonna happen". Kinda pissed, but okay..i reply "im not interested in anything happening, i just wanted to see how she was..im a friend". Response was "let me tell you. i dont want you trying to contact her. any. best thing you can do is forget about her". Okay, so im in full blown "what the f***" mode, so i call a friend of mine. He actually dated her for two years himself. he called her and she answered, saying that she was having her tattoo worked on, and she'd talk to him later. In the meantime..i responded back to this "person" "If she feels this way then she needs to tell me herself. ive done nothing to deserve this, and im not just going to forget about my friend". So a while later, my friend calls me back with the information. i said "just tell me what you know, dont sugar coat anything". He sounded reluctant, but proceeded by saying he started out by discussing how he's going into the air force, and how ive been helping him get ready. here's the shocker...at least to me..when he mentioned my name, he says that she said "ahhhhh.....the stalker". So he said "wait, what do you mean?", and she told him about how i wanted more than she did, and i had come on a little strong, and she felt like i had been pressuring her, and thats the reason that she doesnt answer my calls or texts. She also said something to the effect that i had been calling multiple times a day..which just wasnt happening. Occasionally i called more than once, but it wasnt on a daily basis or anything like that. Of course, he knows me, and knows that ive done nothing even resembling stalking...so thats why im all jacked up. She's with some new guy now, and moving in with him next week, apparently. My friend said "wow, not telling him this..its pretty f***ed up what you are doing", and he mentioned that he must have hit a nerve with her when he said that, because she responded "yeah..i guess it is pretty f****d up". So, im respectful of the fact that she's seeing someone else, and i can certainly get over my feelings. The only thing is...we were friends, and nothing i did was even REMOTELY bad. I was only doing nice things for someone i cared about, and i guess maybe she just wasnt used to that. I dont understand what happened, and i certainly would like to stay friends with her..but this whole thing seems to have taken a rediculous turn, and needless to say the things that i heard hurt me pretty bad. Anyone else been in a situation similar to this? I dont know...maybe one day we can talk again..but right now i just dont know. In the meantime..i guess the best thing i can do is forget about it and move on. Opinions, insights or suggestions?
Recommended Posts