He can't eat, sleep, trembles... LOVE!? or obsessed!?

[Hyacinth123]

A close friend confessed his affection for me, while I like him as "a friend" not more. He thinks I'm lying to myself, not true....

 

We've been friends for years and recently I don't know what switched things... but he started to pursue me.. like a moth to a flame. I saw this and told him before he could put his feelings into words, that I didn't reciprocate his feelings.

 

He said he understood, but really just enjoyed my company and since we hadn't crossed the friendship barrier, wanted to remain friends still. I reluctantly agreed, but with much caution so as to not muddle things.

 

Well... as you might suspect things got worse. At first he seemed to have tossed the "relationship possibility" out the window. But he started to call more, give small gifts, kept wanting to do things together, and would get 'a little' upset if I didn't say yes. I'd catch him staring at me so intensely and with such passion, that I could actually feel when he was around. His face would melt and his lips would tremble when I came near him. My response to all this... I backed away, but we still saw each other unavoidably...

 

With the awkwardness between us eventually we talked... he says he can't handle being around me just as "friends". He says he can't eat, sleep, that I'm everything.. his beginning, middle, and end. This really chilled me... is he really in love with me? Infatuated? Obsessed? How can you have such strong emotions about someone when the other person doesn't feel the same way about you in return? Shouldn't a love to this degree be mutual... if it's real?

[norajane]

In love, infatuation, with a dash of hope...those endorphins are definitely real. And unrequited passion is what songs and poetry are made of. If you read through some of the threads in the Friends and Lovers section here, you'll see that it is very possible for one friend to feel that way about another even if the feelings aren't returned.

 

He's going to be pretty miserable for a while, but you need to cut off contact so as not to feed his addiction. He will get over it, but it will take a while. It will take longer for him to get over it if you try to say friends, because each time he sees you, he will get another dose of those in love endorphins.

[Hyacinth123]

Very nicely put... thank you NoraJane