geminni Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 hello everyone, there have been some events and I am in a thinking zone, whether i should insist or not, so any advice is welcome. here is the story ( i will try to keep it as short as possible ): i have a coworker, nice looking girl that works in the same building just different department, we made a first contact, then some innocent flirting ( smiling at each other etc... )a few days later went for a coffee ( quick one, because we were both working ), had a casual conversation ( all good this far ) - nothing special happened. So one day I just approached her asking her for a phone number and told her that i will call her so we can go for a drink that will take longer than 5 minutes:) all good. then holidays came, i went on vacation for 2 weeks and so did she, she was at the same place as i was so we met once, while we were out partying, since she was with her girlfriends nothing happened ( i kept it cool so now we are back, and we didnt get to have a drink yet ( the one that would be considered date or something:o ) so i called her a few days back, no answer. sent a message. no reply. saw her today at work and I thought that i would clear thing up, because i dont like to be fooled around ( i am just too old for childish games, straight forward approach is the best approach. ) here is a quick convo: me: are you ingoring me? her_why me: i dont know,because i call you no answer, i message you no answer. her:thats how it is. me: do i have to chew off my hand or what, to take you out:)? i mean tell me directly if you dont wanna go out, you know. her: nah, you dont have to, me; i mean just tell it. her: you cant do anything.... then i went away. that was it, now the pesimistic script would be that that was her way of saying. not interested. or what. is she playing hard to get, shall I insist... because i do like her, and i think that she aint that cold either, but dont what to make a fool out of myself, i you know what i mean. and thats that. any advice is welcome...
sofakingmad Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 i would play it cool for awhile and see if she approaches you. maybe she felt funny being put on the spot at work. maybe she met someone while she was on vacation. maybe she just changed her mind.
Author geminni Posted August 17, 2007 Author Posted August 17, 2007 so no more coffee invites and that kind of stuff? maybe that would be wise i guess.
jcster Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Here's my interpretation: me: i dont know,because i call you no answer, i message you no answer. her:thats how it is.That's how it is. She's not going to call you or answer your calls. me: do i have to chew off my hand or what, to take you out i mean tell me directly if you dont wanna go out, you know. her: nah, you dont have to,I don't want to go out - please stop trying. me; i mean just tell it. her: you cant do anything....There are things going on in my life and I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you to ask me out right now - because I don't have a good answer to your questions. Maybe her situation will change - but until then, you need to cool it or she's going to get annoyed. And - just my opinion - but starting off the conversation in an accusatory manner is not a good move. You made her defensive.
Author geminni Posted August 17, 2007 Author Posted August 17, 2007 why is it that when things dont go my way i start being aggresive ( verbally like you said, making her defensive ) bad move i guess ( by me ) i guess there is no going back, to fix it. i know when something happens, later i try to play thing over and over in my head, maybe different approach would leave different results. ouch
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