NotOverTheHill Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 How do you tell him you want a divorce? My guy is unemployed (aka takes care of house), no friends (dosen't like me having any either), controlling and I am scared of him (verbal "tounge-in-cheek" threats) I care that he has no income and no friends, but *I* want friends without feeling guilty. How did/do you go about doing it? PS. I have seen lawyer, and am in counseling.
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 How long have you been married? And, how long has he been without work? Was he laid off? (Sorry for all the questions here, just trying to understand his frame of mind) Has he always been this way? Is he depressed? What kind of verbal threats does he say to you?
LakesideDream Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 NotOvertheHill, Why not just do what 90%+ of your peers do when faced with a similar situation? Just tell him "You love him but are not in love with him anymore" and that "You need space, to find yourself". The above seem like the universal catch all for ladies who wish to dissolve relationships.
Author NotOverTheHill Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 We have been married 10 years. He stopped working when we moved states because of my job 3 years ago. At first it was just going to be him taking care of the house. Finances are tight and I asked him to go back to work, he would rather cut back on our already thin finances then go back. How does he threaten me? "Benoit had it the right way" (wrestler who killed his wife and son) "If you left me, I don't know what I would do" (in a threatening voice). He also makes off hand remarks about getting a gun and going to McDonalds. Things that just scare me. He has always put me down. He always wants things "his" way, and if he does not get it, life is a living hell. So I have always given in. No more. He does not like it. He wants his "old wife" back. His "new wife" wants to be happy and find how to be happy without someone controlling me.
Zona76 Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Is there an immigration issue? And he's not able to take care of himself. He may be due alimony. Demand he start seeking a job. He needs to get back into the work force.
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